Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Artists: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue,
kittykab
GRRR!
AOL won't let me send more than TWO blind copies at a time!
No way can I sit and send two emails at time to all of my subscribers!
It would take days and days. I will try to contact them, but you
know how that goes. I get PENIS crap every day in my spam box!
What is it about Rockin' and Rollin' that they this is spam? I am not sure
what I can do about sending 'reminder emails' now. (Oh and I have
only been doing this for 11 years!)
UGH!
UPSET?
Me? I didn't think anything else that has to do with the current government could
shock me -- not only does this shock me, it scares me!! Yes, I am
VERY upset and you will be too.
This isn't made up. This is FACT! And every single one of you reading this
has to listen to this:
YouTube - Know the TRUTH about the Government Health Care Bill H.R.3200 - Key Points
Be careful when surfing the Internet. I
have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in working
order as of this posting. Always be aware of the risks out there and keep
current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my
heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an
email
to me, deb@debsnewsletter.com and
your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to
ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild
ride!
"Very good to see you back. I had almost given up any hope of seeing you again.
I enjoy the humor. Ginny"
ginnyw993
T T T T T
Top
Ten Things I've Learned From the Last 20 Years of Television
10. Better to be bald than have a hairpiece like Letterman.
9. Do not buy sushi from the Home Shopping Network.
8. Thanks to iTunes, now you can get free TV shows for 99 cents.
7. Widesceen televisions were invented to accommodate Keith Olbermann's enormous
head.
6. Sadly, "Cougar Town" is not a show about people getting attacked
by giant cats.
5. Sitting close to the TV is a cheap alternative to a tanning salon.
4. No one on Earth is funnier than Howie Mandel.
3. There is no good way to tell your spouse you want to go on "Wife
Swap."
2. Ever notice all morning weathermen are as fat as a dump truck?
1. Television is not a vast wasteland, it's a cesspool
T T T T T
Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of
their trailers
shooting the breeze.
Billy-Bob asked Bubba, "If I snuck ovah to yore house while
you wuz out fishin an' fucked your wife, an' she got
pregnant, would dat make us kin?"
Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, "I don't think
so....but it sho would make us even."
T T T
T T
Pet Projects - Pets - MarthaStewart.com
Six easy crafts to make your cat purr with delight
Feline Behavior Issues - Training a Cat
Behavioral problems in cats, such as missing the litterbox, excessive meowing, or destructive scratching can be corrected by first eliminating physical causes, then instituting a program of informed retraining, with the help of these resources.
Beagle - Dog Breeds: Good with Children - Dog Breeds Center - MarthaStewart.com
Choose the right breed - the breeds who are good with children
Bichon Frise - Hypoallergenic Dog Breeds - Dog Breeds Center - MarthaStewart.com
Do dogs make you sneeze? Not all of them will
Choosing the Right Breed - Pets - MarthaStewart.com
If you prefer apartment living, check out these breeds
Selecting a Dog Breed: Tips for Seniors - Pets - MarthaStewart.com
Whether you're an active senior looking for a hiking companion, an inveterate traveler or a couch potato, there's a dog breed that's just right for your lifestyle.
Martha's Pet Resouces
|
DogAge measures your dog's biological age in people years. The DogAge benefits that correspond with the following dog health care tips are only estimations
Dog Health Conditions – Eye Problems -- DogAge Health Information If your dog's eyes are squinting, blinking, tearing, unequal in pupil size, or foggy, a veterinarian visit is in order. Many eye conditions are very serious dog health problems; here are a few of the most common:
T T T T T
|
If I can't drink and drive.........then how am I supposed to get to work?
T T T T T
MMojoy
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day
in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep
breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the
middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning, this is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. Dis is Father O'Malley
at St. Ann's Catholic Church. Dere's a jackass lyin dead
in me front lawn."
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,
"Well now Father, it was always my
impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment........
Father O'Malley then replied:
"Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of
kin."
T T T T T
One day, Bill decided to take a trip
from Montreal (where he lived)
to that great city of Boston. He went to the airport to buy a
ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well, Bill only
had $100 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons
under 18. Well, now he had just turned 18 three months ago so he
lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100.
W ell during they flight, he was making small conversation with the
passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little
chat, he mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him.
A stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation
and reported back to the pilot. The pilot checked his passenger
list and noticed that Bill had only paid half-fare.
A few minutes later, the stewardess asked him if he had $50 with
him. Bill, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough
for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why do you ask?"
Stewardess,"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used
parachute."
Bill, "Whatever for?"
Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are
half-way on our flight and you have to leave now."
T T T T T
Virg297
T T T T T
"Well, the story about the 23-year-old Nigerian man, who put the explosives in his underpants still continues to dominate the news. Boy that shows you how time can change, you know? When I was 23, the only thing I ever put in my underpants was a rolled up sock." –Jay Leno
T T T T T
"According to TMZ, Joan Rivers was detained by airport security in Costa Rica because her married name was Joan Rosenberg, on her passport, and they wouldn't let her leave. See, they're very vigilant down there in Costa Rica, you know? Maybe we can try that here in this country sometime." –Jay Leno
T T T T T
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on
T T T T T
"I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I
could make love for eight
hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of
begging and then dinner and a movie." Sting
T T T T T
by deb
Inside of a Dog:
What Dogs See, Smell and Know
by Alexandra Horowitz
Understanding Dog Behavior with Alexandra Horowitz - Pets - MarthaStewart.com
"Have you ever wondered how your favorite four-legged friend sees the world? Scientist and author Alexandra Horowitz has some wonderful insights into the point of view of canines that may also help us understand what motivates dog behavior"
The above paragraph is way too simplistic - this book is amazing! You will learn how dogs view us, and their surroundings - etc and etc. Fantastic and easy to understand and read book. I think you'll be as amazed as I am!
ManyBooks.net - Free eBooks for your PDA, iPhone, or eBook Reader
Well, you all know how much I love books! But what I love more are free books. And here at Many Books, you can download free e-books to your PDA, iPod or eBook Reader.
Amazon.com: Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & more
I prefer Amazon for reading books. A sample is sent wirelessly within seconds to my
Amazon app on my iPhone and if I like the sample, I make one click and it's purchased
and the entire book is sent within seconds. I LOVE IT.
T T T T T
"Did you hear about this guy on the flight to Detroit that
tried to make his underwear explode? They took him to court,
and he was charged with having 'weapons of mass destruction'
in his pants. He told the judge, 'Well, I get no complaints
from the ladies.'" -David Letterman
T T T T T
A lady from California purchased a piece of timberland in
Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points
in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so
she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top,
she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the
ground and got many splinters in her vagina. In considerable
pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the ex-
amining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat
and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?"
The unperturbed doctor replied, "Well, I had to get permits
from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service,
and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-
growth timber from a recreational area."
T T T T T
HOOSIER-HUNK
T T T T T
A man watching a hockey game on TV kept
switching
channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple.
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he said to his
wife.
"For heaven's sake, watch
them,"
his wife said."You already know how to play Hockey!"
T T T T T
Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on
television with British TV
host Anne Diamond when he used the Spanish word "manana" (manyana).
Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term
means, "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day,
maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next
year, who cares?" The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was
also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term
in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that
degree of urgency."
T T T T T
oldwild
T T T T T
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
T T T T T
Women's Dictionary:
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right,
but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash
machine and hit "inquire."
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the
lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, mari- nated the meat and
cleaned everything up, but *he* "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand
them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat
socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store
to go
with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a basketball
game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour
writing,
then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a
style
you will never be able to duplicate
again.
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space
- if he
goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he
gets to hold your hand and say
"focus, breath, push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the
beauty of your
mouth. On his collar, coloring only trashy
women would wear...!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go
somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing
set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage, and children.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams
of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to
get a card.
Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone to take
out the trash, then end up doing it yourself ...anyway.
T T T T T
T T T T T
"A new study shows that California has
the dirtiest tap water in
the country. California officials insist that the dirty water is
fine as long as you chew it thoroughly." --Conan O'Brien
T T T T T
The L. A. County Coroner says that actress Brittany Murphy died of
natural causes. Which in Hollywood can include overdose, freeway
gunshot wound or disappearing without a trace. Jim Barach
T T T T T
"You all have a nice holiday? How many
still have their
Christmas tree up? How many still have a rotting pumpkin on their
porch?" Jay Leno
T T T T T
"What's the first thing a little girl wants when she gets a new
bike? A basket--she's prepared to shop. What's the first thing a
boy wants on his bike? A bell or horn--he's prepared for traffic.
"What's the first toy a little girl wants? A doll--she's prepared
to shop with friends. What's the first toy a little boy wants? A
gun--he's prepared for traffic."
T T T T T
Q:
When installing a new
program in Windows it is recommended that you close all running programs. I
have never done it, because I do not know how to do it. My question is: How do
I close all running programs?
A:
Actually, you probably don't need to close each and every program
on your system. I do installs all the time with stuff running (not just
background programs). I only close all my programs if I run into a snag during
installation. In fact, I've even been known to, *gasp* check e-mail during a
long install! (Please don't tell anyone ;-)
If you still feel the need to get everything shut down, hit CTRL-ALT-DEL . Shut
down everything but Explorer and Systray then go ahead and install. Just reboot
your computer to get it all back. You could also right click each program in
your system tray (by the clock) and select "close" or
"disable" on everything but your monitor and sound.
Steve
from the brilliant people at worldstart.com
T T T T T
A T and T is dropping its sponsorship of Tiger Woods. Actually,
when you consider the number of women he was juggling all over the
world, Woods should be a pretty good advertisement for great cell
phone coverage.
T T T
T T
My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched
to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple, and
the problem was quickly resolved.
On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-
of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door.
Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when my
partner tried to cover for me by saying...
"If you have any more problems, we'll be in your closet."
T T T T T
The Nigerian terrorist on the Northwest
flight to Detroit had
his explosive device catch fire in his lap. The good news is the
commotion woke up the pilots and they didn't miss the airport
T T T T T
HOOSIER-HUNK
T T T T T
Consumers in Washington, D.C. will now have
to pay a tax on paper
and plastic shopping bags. The only bags not taxed in Washington
are the ones used stuffed with bribes to members of Congress
T T T T T
It was the morning after the consummation of the marriage of
two senior citizens. The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her
husband running water in the bathroom, she said, "Did you just
brush your teeth?" The husband answered, "Yes, dear. And
while
I was at it, I brushed yours, too."
T T T T T
A clumsy file clerk dropped her birth control pills into the Xerox
machine. It wouldn't reproduce for a month
T T T T T
HOOSIER-HUNK
T T T T T
Miss Holly confided to me the other day that every once in a while
she gets a tremendous urge to suddenly strip off her clothing and
run around naked. When I asked her to call me next time she just
giggled and said she had found a cure. Naturally I asked what it
was? She replied, "I just mix a little cocktail of Vodka with some
Windex and drink it." Miss Holly claims it keeps her from streaking.
T T T T T
I asked my wife to help me find a match for my sock. She answered,
"What for? Are you going to set it on fire?"
T T T
T T
What I love most about making New Year's Resolutions is that
compliance doesn't officially start until I regularly write the
correct year on my personal checks.
T T T T T
Virg297
T T T T T
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out
cutting the grass
during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out
and ask his wife what was for supper.
Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the
air-conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so
she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper
right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner
out yourself."
So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with
potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.
The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and
asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"
"Huh? I thought you were out of town."
T T T T T
harlmilligan
http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by_alanbecker.swf
Oldie but goodie!
FLR2D2
YouTube - elk cross the rd 11-27-09.MOV
This is amazing - beautiful! I hope you don't miss this!
BADVETTE87
http://home.tiscali.nl/annejan/swf/timeline.swf
Cool clock!
ENGLANDWINSAGAIN
http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf
World clock - don't know why it says '08 because the date on the left
is correct. Anyway, this is a mind blower
Normantate
WOW gotta see this - very cool!
Virg297
A sweet wish for a friend
The 31 Places to Go in 2010 - NYTimes.com
This list according to the NYT
MetaEfficient Reviews — The Guide To Highly Efficient Things
This is the Optimal Green Guide, bringing you the latest in green products and green news! This Web site contains so many fun facts about how you can save energy and help keep our planet safe, it will blow your mind. Check it out today and go green!
Myreminders.co.uk - The free reminder and calendar service that will make your life easier
Welcome to My Reminders, a free reminder and calendar service! This Web site allows you to send yourself reminders and create your very own reminder calendars. It's so cool, you don't want to miss it!
The Science of Vision and the Emergence of Art
This Web site mixes art with science! In the nineteenth century, modern art was still being defined, but at the same time, scientists were discovering how we see. New ideas on how we see color inspired artists to try new things.
Password Bird | Password Generator
Do you like to change your passwords frequently? It's a good thing if you do, because that will help to keep you extra safe, but do you ever have trouble coming up with new passwords to use each time? It can be rather difficult sometimes. Well, if you do, just use Password Bird! It's a Web site that will create your passwords for you and it's so easy to use! I'm keeping this!
CafeMom - Moms Connecting About Pregnancy, Babies, Home, Health, and More
For Mom's only! It provides all kinds of information expectant mothers, moms and
grandmothers alike can all enjoy
Chatterous - group chat using the web, IM, email or phone
Do people even use chat rooms these days? Social networking is something that has become a part of everyday life. Whether you’re keeping track of your friends, family members or even co-workers, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to send all of them a message at the same time, regardless of which service they prefer? Well, now you can with Chatterous! You can use your existing e-mail address, instant messenger or even your cell phone to keep in touch all from one place.
Is there a skill you used to use that, over time, has become obsolete? Want to learn how to use it again? Then you've got to check out this very cool Web site. It's filled with obsolete skills and I'm sure you'll be able to find yours there too. I still remember some shorthand! Gawd I'm old!
YouTube - Dave Williams - Are You Lonesome Tonight (Senior Moments)
LOL
I know - I know, but it's funny! (scroll down)
A new fragrance
Top 10 Most-Talked About Women of 2009
From politicians to pop culture vultures, these ten women may have been loved, hated, admired, or despised...but judging from the buzz that surrounded them and the controversy they provoked, they were the most-talked about women of 2009
T T T T T
Cherry Garcia. Phish Phood. Really? That's it?
A dead icon from the '60s and a
mediocre jam
band from the '90s are the BEST Ben &
Jerry's
can come up with for "hip"
ice cream names?
Step
aside, hippies, and let
TopFive show you how
it's done...
The Top 20 Updated Ben & Jerry's Flavors
copyright topfive.com chris white
20> Baracky Road
19> UnemployMint Budget Crunch
18> Treat Level Orange
17> Hannah Montana Bananarama Extravaganza
16> Celine Dijon
15> Kardashian Keister Krunch
14> Bananas Birther
13> Tiger's Escalade Smash Downward Spiral
12> Dyslexic Paifart
11> Sarah Pralin
10> S'more Cowbell!
9> Gosselin Messy Divorce Swirl
8> Yes Pecan
7> Pineapple Upside Downey, Jr.
6> Late-Night Blackberry Sext
5> Winehouse Tossed Cookies and Cream
4> Kanye We--YO IMMA LET U FINISH BUT HAAGEN DAZS HAD THE BEST
FLAVA OF ALL TIME!!
3> Jonas Brothers Artificial Cherry
2> Chris Brownie Batter
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Updated Ben & Jerry's Flavor...
1> Lady Gaga's Nut Cluster Surprise
T T T T T
Virg297
T T T T T
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual
physical.
As the doctor was listening to his heart with the
stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!"
The man asked
the doctor, "What's the problem?"
"Well," said the doc,"you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"
"No," replied the man.
"Do you drink in excess?"
"No." replied the man.
"Do you have a sex life?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur,
you'll have to give up half your sex life."
Looking perplexed, the old man said,
"Which half -
the looking or the thinking?
T T T T T
Chef Salad with Turkey, Avocado and Jack Cheese, etc
Serves 4 - Prep time - 25 minutes
· 1/3 cup low-fat buttermilk
· 1/3 cup reduced-fat sour cream
· 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
· 1 tablespoon honey
· Coarse salt and ground pepper
· 1 large head Boston lettuce
· 1 pound sliced roasted turkey breast, torn into pieces
· 1 avocado, pitted and sliced
· 1 cup alfalfa sprouts or pea shoots
· 6 radishes, halved and thinly sliced
· 4 carrots, cut into matchsticks
· 4 ounces Monterey Jack cheese, cut into strips (1 cup)
Directions
1. In a small bowl, combine buttermilk, sour cream, vinegar, and honey; season with salt and pepper. Set dressing aside.
2. Divide lettuce among four serving plates; top with turkey, avocado, sprouts, radishes, carrots, and cheese. Drizzle with dressing, and serve.
T T T T T
BADVETTE87
* New medical symbol *
To prepare for the new healthcare reform package, we felt it
necessary to develop a new medical symbol that truly depicts
the Health Care Plan you will be getting:
T T T T T
--==++ Musing With
Mitch ++==--
by Mitchell Kobriger
topfive.com
* I'm all for human cloning, just so long as things don't get
too... you know... weird.
* Idea! Somebody needs to invent a CD that fits into an 8-track
cartridge. Some of us don't plan on upgrading just yet.
* The best part of an apple? The core. Don't knock it 'til
you've tried it, smartass.
* Traditionalists be damned! You can take spider killing to
a whole new level with a good pair of nightvision goggles.
* Someone in this great big world should organize a Joe Don Baker
film festival.
T T T T T
HOOSIER-HUNK
T T T T T
This couple already had several children,
including
two rambunctious twins, and the husband was thrilled
when the doctor announced they were going to have twins
again. He told his wife that she should start
thinking of names.
"Well, let's see." she said.
"We already have Adolph and Rudolph. How
about Getoff and Stayoff?"
T T T T T
I tell ya, I don't get no respect;
Especially from my wife. She's a real bitch.
She won a trip to Las Vegas for two. She went twice.
T T T T T
There was a Kentucky redneck and a buckeye, fishing on their respective
sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in
the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching
nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, "Buddy, I'd sure like to
be on your side of the river!"
"Aight, tell ya what, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and
you can walk across this little beam of light!" the redneck yelled back.
The buckeye replied, "Haint no way buddy. I know, you think I'm a fool!
When I get halfway cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!"
T T T T T
Qwitter - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
Are you trying to quit smoking? It isn't easy, is it? It's even harder without a support system, but you can no longer use that as an excuse, because Qwitter is here to help. Give it a try
Do you feel like you have a unique problem and are you a little embarrassed by it? You know, maybe something like acne, dandruff, heavy sweating, etc. Well, there's no reason to be embarrassed by those things, but to help you out, this Web site will talk you through it
Try This Nutritious Alternative to Summer Fruits - Health Tip - realage.com
Alas, the fresh fruits of summer are a distant memory for many right now. But chin up! You might be able to get just as much nutrition with this winter alternative: freeze-dried. A recent study showed that, ounce for ounce, freeze-dried black raspberries contain even more cancer-fighting anthocyanins than fresh berries do. And freeze-dried fruit can keep for over a year.
Top 10 Veggies List - Health Tip - realage.com
Make sure the vegetables you eat the most are the most nutritious veggies you can eat. If you're a broccoli lover, you've picked a winner. From a list of 10 of the most commonly consumed vegetables in the country, broccoli holds the top spot for having the most phytochemicals -- compounds everyone's urged to consume because they protect against chronic diseases. At the bottom of the list? Cucumbers, described by some people as "water you can eat."
Are Short Workouts Better for Blood Sugar? - Health Tip - realage.com
Short on time? A mini workout may still do good things for your blood sugar. In a study of young inactive men, doing a series of sprints on exercise bikes every couple of days seemed to help lower blood sugar and improve insulin function -- even though their total exercise time topped out at less than 10 minutes a week.
T T T
T T
A teenager who had just received her learner's permit offered
to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they
finally reached their destination.
The mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you!"
"Anytime," her daughter replied.
As the woman slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to
you. I was talking to God."
T T T T T
T T T T T
BADVETTE87
A man has to take a business trip overseas so he entrusts his best friend with the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, his friend was to notify him immediately. After about a week with no contact, the businessman received a telegram containing only one sentence. “The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn’t show up yesterday.”
T T T T T
--==++ TopFive's News
Headlines ++==--
topfive.com chris white copyright
Desperate Romney Resurrects Dad Knute's "Win One for the Gipper"
Speech
Beverage Safety: '09 GM Cars to Have Mini Air Bags in Each Cup Holder
Scientist Close to Creating Artificial Life, Reports Igor
Frantic Britney Quickly Wrests Headlines Back From Ledger
Report: Kiddy End of Pools Nearly 50% Piss
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Stay Safe - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
Online security is more important than ever! With identity theft running rampant and online predators and viruses everywhere, it's important to be an active participant in keeping you and your personal information safe.
Safe Browsing Tool | WOT Web of Trust
The WOT community has rated millions of websites. Use their warnings to protect yourself from online scams, sites with adult content and spam. Recommendations will give you confidence when doing business with online shops, download sites and more
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There was a history professor and a psychology professor
sitting on
a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the
psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"
The psychology professor replied,
"Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs."
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The Top 16 Money-Saving Resolutions for 2010
copyright topfive.com Chris White
16> Avoid a costly divorce by going the cheaper "widower" route.
15> Crash White House dinners for free food and promotional opportunities.
14> Save on alcohol by carrying a sponge and hanging around Lindsay Lohan.
13> Two words: Gruel Helper.
12> Switch from a 60 percent APR credit card at CitiBank to
a 59.9 percent APR credit card at Bank of America.
11> Change name to "Wells Fargo," complain to DC they were short'
a million in their last bailout check.
10> With a little effort, one disposable chop-stick becomes
100 free toothpicks!
9> Out with the K-Y Jelly, in with the bacon grease!
8> Buy cat food and dog food in discounted, dented cans --
no need to own a pet for this one.
7> Save all that uneaten parsley garnish from dinner plates
to make next year's Christmas wreath.
6> Just before going through the body scanner at airport
security, stuff a large bottle of shampoo and a bunch of
wires into your underwear. Free Cuban vacation!
5> Let the *other* contestants buy the vowels.
4> This year, sell *both* kidneys.
3> Save money in 2010 by spending 2011's money! (U.S. Congress only)
2> Old plan: Give your teenager a Wii.
New plan: Give your teenager away.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Money-Saving Resolution for 2010...
1> Write to that WorldVision kid in Africa you've been sponsoring
all these years and tell him its payback time.
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Send me some Naughty links, y'all
Daily Ding Dong
Snatch Of The Day!
Surfer's Corner!
Down View
Spitter
Random Pages!
Nipple
Ice Pops
Johnson
Sexual Fun
Kiss Kiss
Handle This
Redneck Party
Beach Babe
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Rockin' and Rollin'
makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied, with regard
to featured products or services. Results may vary based on
operating
systems and other variables beyond our control
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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the
making!
So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep
on rockin'
it's a state of mind
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©1999 - 2010 - Deborah Austin - All rights reserved and
held by Rockin' and Rollin'
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