Editor:
DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, Kittykab
Hey!
Have you ever misplaced your cell phone - or cordless phone?
It just this minute happened to me and I remember a website that would
call your number so you can find it! This link is in the SURFIN section!
I do hope you'll be careful when surfing the Internet.
I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in
working order as of this posting (except the Naughty).
Always be aware of the risks out there and
keep current with your anti-virus and adware
removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED from this mailing list,
please send an email
to me at aol and your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause
darlin' it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be
a wild ride!
"So glad you're back"
jacksonwiththeaction
v v v v v
The Top 15 Events in
the Intergalactic Olympics
15> 'Bot Put
14> Standing Warp Jump
13> 4x100 Parsec Interspecies Relay
12> Black Hole Slalom
11> Individual Three-Legged Sack Race
10> Asteroid Field Hockey
9> Uneven Parallel Universes
8> Red Shirt Sprint
7> Hypermodern Biathlon (Lunar Jetpack and Laser Rifle)
6> 400 Meteor Hurdles
5> Solar Wind Surfing
4> Standing "One Giant Leap for Mankind" Long Jump
3> Wormhole Relay
2> Red Giant Shotput
and the Number 1 Event in the Intergalactic Olympics...
1> Beach Meteor Volleyball
v v v v v
BADVETTE87
v v v v v
BADVETTE87
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker
bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana . The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus,
and the Blonde team rode on the top level.
The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time,
when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the
Blondes upstairs. She
decided to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear,
staring straight ahead at the road,
clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here?
We're having a great time
downstairs!'
One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...
'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!'
v v v v v
BADVETTE87
One day God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have some Commandments for you
that will make your lives better.'
The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
'Can you give us an example?'
'Thou shall not kill.'
'Not kill? We're not interested.'
So He went to the blacks and said, 'I have some
Commandments.'
The blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honor thy Father and Mother.'
'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not
interested.'
Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
'I have some Commandments.'
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
'Thou shall not steal.'
'Not steal? We're not interested.'
Then He went to the French and said,
'I have some commandments.'
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said,
'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'
Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
'I have some Commandments .'
'Commandments?'
They said, 'How much are they?'
'They're free.'
'We'll take 10.'
v v v v v
HOOSIER-HUNK
v v v v v
I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other
day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights
we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she
asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little
of that magic.
"Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with
you
now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last
saw me."
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with
a
waistband that's a few inches wider these days."
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me,
saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute.
"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself," she
giggled.
So I told her to fuck off.
v v v v v
Roast Beef and Red Pepper
Sandwiches
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1/3 cup light mayonnaise dressing or mayonnaise
1/3 cup Dijon-style mustard
2 to 4 tablespoons prepared horseradish
6 6- or 7-inch Italian flat bread shells, Boboli or focaccia..
12 ounces thinly sliced cooked roast beef
1 12-ounce jar roasted red sweet peppers, drained
and cut into 1/4-inch wide strips
6 ounces thinly sliced Monterey Jack cheese
2 cups fresh watercress
2 cups fresh spinach
DIRECTIONS:
In a small bowl combine mayonnaise dressing, Dijon-style
mustard, and horseradish. Slice bread shells or flatbreads
in half horizontally. For each sandwich, spread one side
of bread shell or flatbread with mayonnaise mixture. Top
each with roast beef, red peppers, cheese, watercress,
spinach, and remaining half of bread. Wrap sandwiches in
plastic wrap and refrigerate up to 24 hours. (Or, serve
immediately.) To serve, slice sandwiches in half.
Yield: 12 servings (half sandwich per serving).
v v v v v
BADVETTE87
Wise Words from Willie Nelson
Whether or not you are a country fan, this is truly the work
of a deep thinker, and highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so
profound. Words of wisdom from that famous
philosopher, Willie Nelson, on his
75th birthday:
"I have outlived my dick"
v v v v v
Gender Reassignment Surgery. It's big.
It's hot. It needs a
prettier name.
The Top 9 Improved Names for "Gender Reassignment
Surgery"
9> Mamputation
8> Addadictomy
7> Urination Position Adjustment
6> Innie-to-outieplasty
5> Testesgonectomy
4> Alphamale bypass
3> Stooge Appreciation Enhancement
2> Sending Back the Beans and Franks and Getting Clams instead
and the Number 1
Improved Name for
"Gender
Reassignment Surgery"...
1> Retooling the reproduction plant
v v v v v
National Watermelon Promotion Board
Welcome to
the National Watermelon Promotion Board Web site. Your one-stop source for
recipes,
information and fun, all about watermelon
phonemyphone.com, Find your cell phone, escape boring meetings,
free telephone reminders, wakeup calls
It works too. Oh you can schedule wakeup calls or set a time
for your phone to ring in case your date didn't work out.
shaynabuttons
The Cars e Drove In The 50s & 60s
Instant Record Collection: Essential Chicago Blues Albums - List of Essential Chicago Blues Albums
Blues music may have been forged in the Mississippi Delta, but Chicago is where the music
put on a shirt and tie, subsequently achieving commercial respectability.
The period between 1950 and 1970 was the prime era for Chicago blues music,
when giants like Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, and Junior Wells ruled the roost.
Although the music slumped somewhat during the late-1960s, during the late-70s and early-80s,
houserockers like Son Seals, Hound Dog Taylor, and
Lonnie Brooks carried the torch for Chicago-styled blues.
Microsoft Office Discount for Students - The Ultimate Steal
Microsoft has a special deal for college students.
It is selling College Student Microsoft Office Ultimate 2007 for $60.
That will save you hundreds of dollars!This edition contains important Office programs like Word,
Excel and PowerPoint. But it doesn't end there. You'll also find lesser-known programs like OneNote.
Visible Body | 3D Human Anatomy
The Visible Body is produced by Argosy Publishing. Its diverse groups make Argosy Publishing
an award-winning provider of content and technology to the medical, pharmaceutical, scientific,
consumer products, television, and educational communities.
Visit www.argosypublishing.com and www.argosymedical.com for more information
Digital photography has become commonplace. We think nothing of putting a photo on the
Web or in a document.Maybe you're looking for a way to make your photos stand out.
Thanks to editing software, there are many ways to do this.Or, you can take the easy route.
Picshadow will add a simple, elegant shadow to your photographs.
You can adjust the shadow. For example,
you can change the color and the angle of the shadow.
You'll find coupons for major retailers and restaurants. There are also
grocery coupons and travel coupons.
fumpr - World's Fastest Photo Storage Simply browse, select, and fump!
All it does is host images. And it claims to be one of the fast image-hosting sites.
All you need to do is click Browse and locate your photo. Select it.
Your photo is now being hosted on fumpr. You'll be given links you can share with others.
Or, there's code so you can insert the image in forum postings.
YouTube - Name that TV Theme - A game for Baby Boomers
Fun for boomers
All the knowledge you need - or so it says
v v v v v
The Top 14 Spam
Subject Lines We'll See in the Future
14> Copy any person, instantly!!
13> ***** WIN A NEW HOVERCAR *****
12> 20 New Sexual Positions for You and Your Clone!!
11> Barely Legal Teen Aliens from Alpha Centauri Want 2 Probe U!
10> Increase the size of your SUV!!
9> Are Bad Clones Ruining Your Good Credit?
8> Franklin Mint's Many Faces Of Michael Jackson "King of Pop"
Commemorative Chess Set!
7> Deposed Middle East dictator needs your help!
6> L@@K! Time-travel tickets to anywhen!!!
5> PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP TO MOVE MONEY OUT OF INTER-PLANETARY
BANK ACCOUNT
4> Vacation to Baghdad Disney -- Only $499!
3> A bigger vagina in just 7 days!! Your man got bigger --
now you can, too!
2> FREE nude pics of Mary Kate and Ashley Hefner!!
and Topfive.com's
Number 1 Spam
Subject Line We'll See in the
Future...
1> Petition: Help Save the Bill of Right!
v v v v v
HOOSIER-HUNK
v v v v v
According to a survey in Glamour
magazine, 80% of women say they have
been creeped out at work when an older man tried to have sex with them.
The other 20% got the promotions.
v v v v v
A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet
you don't have anything like that in
Texas!"
"Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan.
"But we've got plumbers who could fix it."
v v v v v
An Open and Shut Case: Cat
Safety
Most people just aren't very neat in their garages. In addition
to ignoring the drips and puddles coming from their cars —
which can include deadly antifreeze, of course — folks can
be careless about storing insecticides, paints, cleaning
supplies, and fertilizers, all of which can be toxic. More
HOOSIER-HUNK
http://sonyazeigler.com/Catalog/GBA Dogs/Picture 105.jpg
God bless America
Click to Give @ The Animal Rescue Site
Please click - it's free!
v v v v v
Blessed are those who hunger and
thirst,
for they are sticking to their diets
v v v v v
The Top 17 Bad Internet Pickup Lines
17> "I CAN HAS DA NASTY WIT U?"
16> "Anonymity makes me even more handsome."
15> "Your *dot* has me anything but calm."
14> "Do you swear under penalty of perjury that you are neither
employed in law enforcement nor by NBC?"
13> "Why don't you come down to my basement apartment in my
mom's house and see me sometime?"
12> "I dunno. Do u *want* me 2 b 16?"
11> "I'm 13, really cute, and certainly not an undercover agent
of any sort."
10> "i wud luv 2 get u ROF, even if u don't L."
9> "In cyberspace, no one can hear me scream your name."
8> "I've fully rebooted from my last relationship."
7> "Hey, my wife's going to be at some convention, any chance
you could hitch a ride to Chappaqua next week?"
6> "If I said you had a beautiful port replicator, would you
hold it against your camera?"
5> "My AIM says IM the one for you."
4> "My name is Misty, and I speak Klingon."
3> "I had to drop out of college because the $250,000,000
software company I started in my dorm room was taking up
too much of my time. Can I buy you a PC?"
2> "Do u like me? Text '1' for 'Yes,' '2' for 'No.'"
and the Number 1 Bad Internet Pickup Lines...
1> "Hey wait, are you an FBI agent? Because that's even hotter."
v v v v v
Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives.
"My wife is mad at me again," says the first.
"Why?"
"I was bombed at the bar across the street last night and
she came looking for me."
"What'd you do?"
"I asked her for her phone number."
v v v v v
FilterKeys
Are you just starting to learn how to type? Or, how about this: do you ever run into any
difficulty when you're typing? For instance, do you ever accidentally hold a key down for too long
and then all of the sudden, you end up with a whole line of the same letter? (You know, something like
mmmmmmm, etc). That kind of thing happens all the time, but luckily,
there's an easy way to fix it. Want to know how? If so, read on!
To change the way Windows handles any repeated keystrokes on your keyboard, you'll need to use the
FilterKeys feature. To get there, go to Start, Control Panel and click on the Accessibility Options link.
Click Accessibility Options again and then go under the Keyboard tab. In the middle of the box,
you'll see the FilterKeys area. Checkmark the box that says "Use FilterKeys" to activate it.
You can then click on the Settings button to add your own preferences to it.
You can either set the FilterKeys to "Ignore repeated keystrokes" or you can have it
"Ignore quick keystrokes and slow down the repeat rate." I personally like the first choice,
but choose the one that's going to work the best for you. Click OK twice when you're done.
Now, I want you to keep in mind that the FilterKeys option may not be good for everyone,
but if you're just beginning to type, it will be a good starting point for you.
When you're more comfortable with the keyboard, you can then go in and turn it off,
if that's what you prefer. It's all up to you!
Erin worldstart.com
v v v v v
The Top 8 Wish-List Items for a Parental Dream House
8> Acreage over the vaults of Fort Knox, as those kids' college
tuition payments ain't exactly materializing out of a
single-mom kindergarten teacher's salary.
7> Nannybot, available 24/7/365.
6> Kids' room a time zone away.
5> Warehouse-sized pantry for feeding teenage boys.
4> A garden o'McNuggets.
3> Hot and cold running Similac.
2> Convenient kitchen holder for all the keys to the teen
daughters' chastity belts.
and the Number 1 Wish-List Item for a Parental Dream House...
1> 15 bathrooms. And 53 mirrors. All the domain of one 'tween daughter.
v v v v v
twhirl | the social software client
twhirl is a desktop client for the Twitter microblogging service. Most of the features available on
the Twitter website are accessible through twhirl, too.
Plus, a lot of usability enhancements have been added.
twhirl is based on the new Adobe AIR platform that allows web development techniques
to be used to create desktop applications.
It is powered by the Flash-based Flex 3 framework, also from Adobe.
v v v v v
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an
Italian
Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying,
"Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you."
A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner,
or I'll kill myself."
v v v v v
I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving.
When
brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the pun-
ishment for drunk driving in that state was.
I said, "I don't know... re-election to the Senate?"
v v v v v
indianagene
How I Stole Someone's Identity: Scientific American
The author asked some of his acquaintances for permission to break into their online banking accounts.
The goal was simple: get into their online accounts using the information about them,
their families and acquaintances that is freely available online
Q:
I think I have a virus on my computer and I can't seem to get rid
of it.
If I were to format or even erase my hard drive, would that remove the virus? Please help!
A:
I received this question the other day and I figured it was
something everyone could benefit from.
So, to make sure you're all aware, here's a little blurb about it for your viewing pleasure!
As you can see, today's question is pretty intense. It's also a basic "will that work?" type of question,
so that's exactly what we're going to find out. Listen up, this one's a definite must read!
The short answer to this question is a simple yes. If a virus is infecting your computer,
you can format your hard drive (or even erase it if you want to take it that far) to remove it for good.
Doing that is just like starting over, so it's definitely an option if you've already run out of other choices.
On the other hand, there is a "but" that comes along with that. (You probably knew that was coming, didn't you?!)
While the format process will take care of the virus, you have to be careful when you're putting
everything back on your computer. For example, if any one of the programs, files, etc.
you put back on your computer contain a part of the virus,
it will go right back on your PC as if nothing changed.
That includes any backups you did, any media drives you may use and so on.
The virus could be stored anywhere, so you really have to pay attention when you're reloading your computer.
Make sure you put your virus scan programs back on first and run them continuously until you
have everything installed again. Take your time and be patient. Otherwise,
that virus will be back in action in no time and that's just not acceptable. Be safe!
~ Erin worldstart.com
v v v v v
BADVETTE87
One sunny day in 2009, an old man approached the
White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue,
where he had been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said,
'I would like to go in and meet with
President Barack Obama.'
The Marine replied, 'Sir, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn't reside here.'
The old man said, 'Okay,' and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same
Marine, 'I would like to go in and meet
with President Barack Obama.'
The Marine again told the man, 'Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama
is not President and doesn't reside here.'
The man thanked him and again walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the same
Marine,
saying 'I would like to go in and meet with
President Barack Obama.'
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said,
'Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama.
I've told you several times that Mr. Obama is not the President and
doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?'
The old man answered, 'Oh, I understand you fine. I just love to hear you say
that!'
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, 'See you tomorrow, sir!'
v v v v v
v v v v v
HOOSIER-HUNK
Housework
was a woman's job, but one evening, Deborah arrived home from
work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and
another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She
was astonished!
It turns out that Gene had read an article that said, 'Wives who work
full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.
The night went very well.
The next day, she told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great
dinner. Gene even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their
homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the
evening.'
'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
'Oh, that .. ......Gene was too tired..'
v v v v v
Do you have an LCD screen for your computer monitor?
Is it scratched?
First, clean off the surface of your screen with a soft piece of cloth. Next, the best thing to do
(even if it does seem a little weird) is use some petroleum jelly (like Vaseline) to fill in the scratch.
The Vaseline's density matches better to the LCD material than anything else, so it will fill in all
of the gaps more efficiently. Just rub some on the scratch and then wipe off any excess.
Don't press too hard when you're doing that though.
You want to make sure some of the Vaseline stays there.
Now, there are varying views on how to fix a scratch on an LCD screen.
This method seems to work about the best out of all the other suggestions,
but it's possible it won't work for you. Just be very careful and make sure you get enough of the
jelly inside the scratch. If you do that, it should work like a charm and the scratch will be gone forever.
If it doesn't seem to work for you, you can always use a cloth to clean the Vaseline off the screen.
It's at least worth a try. worldstart.com
v v v v v
Higher
wages. Ban mandatory overtime.
Better security. Lower
insurance costs.
Blah blah blah. These are the
same old
things that most
healthcare workers'
unions put on the bargaining
table year
after year. But what would
we really
like to see in next
year's contract?
The Top 8 Things Nurses Really Want in Their Next
Contract
8> Bedpan-free Fridays!
7> $250 bonus for each "Code Brown."
6> The right to storm Rehab the next time they walk off with our
bladder scanner!
5> The right to put on bedpan duty any intern, for any reason, whatsoever.
4> Halos. Hell, we *earn* them every day, dammit!
3> Once a week, each nurse gets to bitchslap one staffer who s/he
feels really deserves it.
2> We were going to demand pay commensurate with experience,
effort and dedication but we didn't want to bankrupt the
hospital.
and the Number 1 Thing
Nurses Really
Want in Their
Next Contract...
1> A guaranteed five seconds, at no more than two-minute
intervals, to breathe.
v v v v v
HOOSIER-HUNK
The
manager of a large office noticed a new guy one day and told him to
come into his office. 'What's your name?' the manager asked.
'John,' the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, 'Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby
place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name.
It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I
refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker -
that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we
got that straight, what is your last name?'
The new guy sighed and said, 'Darling. My name is John Darling.'
'Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is...'
v v v v v
v v v v v
HOOSIER-HUNK
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients were dying in the same bed
every Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to
do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the
deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was contacted and they decided to go down to
the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. On the next Sunday
morning a few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously
waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible
phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to
ward off evil.
Just then the clock struck 11…
And then……
Santos Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged
the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.
v v v v v
Tropical
Rainstorm
1 1/2 ounces dark rum
1/2 ounce cherry brandy
1/2 ounce lemon juice
1 teaspoon triple sec
In a shaker half filled with ice cubes, combine all of the
ingredients. Shake and strain into a cocktail glass.
v v v v v
"Ladies
and gentlemen, I have some good news and bad
news.The bad news is that we have a hijacker on board. The
good news is, he wants to go to the French Riviera."
v v v v v
Bridegroom?
"How much do we owe for the room?"
Hotel Clerk: "Three dollars apiece."
The bridegroom gave the clerk twenty-one dollars.
v v v v v
At NO
COST to you, help fight hunger, disease, illiteracy,
enviromental causes, and MORE! It takes about a minute TOTAL to
go to all of these.
Hunger
http://www.thehungersite.com/
Breast Cancer
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
Child Healthcare
http://www.thechildhealthsite.com/
Books for kids
http://www.theliteracysite.com/
Animal Rescue
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
Ecology - plant trees, save wildlife & wilderness
http://www.ecologyfund.com
v v v v v
mmirkwood
It's just been reported that at President Bush's daughter's wedding
president Bush got so confused, he threw condoleeza rice.
v v v v v
"I understand there is now a new virginity movement in high
schools around the country where kids are now saving
themselves for the right teacher." -
Jay Leno
v v v v v
indianagene
One day
my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother
who is four years older than I am.
I was maybe 3 and half years old and had just recovered from an accident
in which my arm had been broken among other injuries.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was
one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my
brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a
little cup of 'tea' which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom
came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of
tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up,
Then she said to him:
"Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get
water is the toilet??"
v v v v v
The Top 14 Signs You Hired
the Wrong Legal Secretary
14> His only "legal" experience is as a convicted felon.
13> A believer in fair play and transparency, she sends all your
documents to opposing counsel.
12> Citations he's obtained this week for relevant cases: none.
Citations he's obtained this week for Drunk and Disorderly:
three.
11> She makes a casual remark that she never knew so many people
had "V" as a middle initial.
10> When asked to notarize something, she informs you that she
never learned shorthandation.
9> You overhear a client phone call that ends, "How hard could
it be to just represent yourself? The joker I work for can't
find his ass with both hands and a flashlight and they let
*him* be a lawyer."
8> She translates all your Latin legal terms into pig latin.
7> When asked to retrieve anything concerning Guantanamo, comes
back with chips and salsa.
6> When told that "the jury was hung," she starts to giggle
uncontrollably.
5> Her idea of multitasking includes filling out all legal
documents in lipstick.
4> Confuse "steno" with "sterno," causing an unexpected
office fire.
3> No matter what your client is accused of, you secretary always
confesses to the crime.
2> Every time you ask her to draft a request for a continuance,
she cites as the reason, "scared shitless of losing."
and the Number 1 Sign You Hired the Wrong Legal Secretary...
1> "Bill of Rights? I paid it with the firm credit card."
v v v v v
v v v v v
HOOSIER-HUNK
A Citry Gal from North Carolina was driving through a remote
part of
Arizona just south of TOMBSTONE when her car broke down.
An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a
nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride
was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out
a Ye-e-e-e-H-a-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,
yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e--Ha-a-a-a!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the
service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered.
"I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist,
and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles"
v v
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*submitted by: shaynabuttons
100 Free Sources for (Good) Downloadable Music | Free Geekery
These days, everyone seems so scared of the RIAA that they’re relegated to using paid
services like iTunes and Napster, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
There are a number of legal and mostly-legal sources that offer great music from both established
and emerging artists, and they’re happy to share downloads with you for free.
We’ve compiled a list of 100 of these sources for your downloading enjoyment here.
Variety If you’d like to spice up your music collection with loads of different tunes,
these sites have a wide variety to offer.
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The
Top 14 Songs About the Beijing Olympics
14> Jumpin' Bolt Dash
13> Eight Golds a Week
12> Nastia Girl
11> Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Women's Beach Volleyball Tankini
10> Javelin Man
9> Karolyi of the Belles
8> With a Little Help From Jason Lezak
7> Everybody, Yang Won Tonight
6> Born to Run 9.69
5> Unchained (200 Meter Individual) Medley
4> Tibet By Golly Wow
3> You're *NOT* Sixteen!
2> When Spanish Eyes Are Slanting
and the Number 1 Song About the Beijing Olympics...
1> Passin' Up the Spitz
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mmirkwood
A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,
"Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the
same place where boys put their
thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally
come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
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Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore
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Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as
a used
car salesman.
He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the
old sales pitch that the car was *like brand-new* and had only been
driven by a little old lady on Sundays. He tried that approach on
every prospective buyer but none seemed to believe him and no sales
were made that day.
His boss was furious and threatened to fire Bill if he didn't sell
any cars the following day.
The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure
enough he sold three cars.
The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked
what he had done to bring about all these sales.
Bill grinned, "Well they didn't believe my little old lady story, so
I told them that the car had previously been owned by your daughter
who only used the backseat."
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Tethered
by Amy MacKinnon
"Clara Marsh is an undertaker who doesn’t believe in God.
She spends her solitary life among the dead,
preparing their last baths and bidding them farewell with a bouquet from her own garden.
Her carefully structured life shifts when she discovers a neglected little girl,
Trecie, playing in the funeral parlor,
desperate for a friend.
It changes even more when Detective Mike Sullivan starts questioning her again
about a body she
prepared three years ago, an unidentified girl found murdered in a nearby strip of woods.
Unclaimed by family, the community christened her Precious Doe. When Clara and Mike learn
Trecie may be involved with the same people who killed Precious Doe, Clara must choose
between the stead-fast existence of loneliness and the perils of binding one’s life to another"
What a wonderful book. A few twists that make it that much better! I definitely
recommend it. Easy to read and it kept my interest throughout
the entire book!
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Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City
subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles
and
gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friends act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank.,
"You know hes only going to use it on drugs or
booze."
Matt replies, "And we werent?"
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Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for
ten
grand, he'll show you the door!
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Home catching on fire a lot? Dog keeps
getting kidnapped for
ransom? It's a
good bet your ex has an
ax to grind.
The Top 9 Inklings That You're Being Stalked
by Your Ex
9> You could swear that your lawn gnome is wearing a wire.
8> When you come home, her initials have been shaved into the dog.
7> A video of you taking a shower on Wednesday had the most hits
on YouTube on Thursday.
6> At the museum, the eyes of all the painting seem to follow you
through the gallery.
5> As you come to bed you discover a chalk outline of your body
on the bedspread, UNDER a chalk outline of his body.
4> You go to pick up the phone and are thrilled to discover a
telemarketer is calling.
3> Your underwear drawer has been rifled -- with an actual rifle.
2> For the first time in years, he sent you a card on your
birthday. And his birthday. And Lincoln's birthday. And Don
Knotts' birthday.
and the Number 1
Inkling That
You're Being Stalked by
Your Ex...
1> That frowny face on your diaphragm sure as hell didn't draw itself.
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Does the remote control go inside the dinner knife or outside
the
soup spoon?
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I had a friend. Unfortunately he was an ugly stupid man.
One day while the two of us were in a local bar a woman came over to
our table. She looked him in the eye and said, "I'm a working
girl and I haven't had any work in three weeks."
My friend said, "Three weeks?"
She said, "Yes, three weeks. And for $20 I'd do anything you
want."
Astonished, he asked, "ANYTHING?"
She answered, "Yes, anything."
So he put $20 in her hand and headed to the door.
As they headed to the door I heard her ask, "What do you want me to
do?"
He said, "Paint my house."
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They say John McCain is 71, but people are saying he may be older.
No one knows for sure because his birth certificate was destroyed
when the Wagon Train was attacked.
David Letterman
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Due to the steady decline in available Nuns - and because of the subject matter –
there was a lay schoolteacher in the small Catholic school teaching sex ed.
The class was comprised of only 8 students, due to the size
of the school.
One of the little girls there asked, "According to the Bible,
it says that Adam came first, then Eve."
The teacher replied, "Yes, dear, that is true, according to the Word Of
God."
The girl responded, "Daddy always told me it is 'Ladies Before Gentlemen'.
Didn't that rule apply during the Creation time?"
The teacher gets a smile on her face... she said, "Dearie, Adam came first
-- trust me.
And every man since him came first, too!"
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Strip
Poker - E Adult Games: Online Adult shockwave games.
Strip Poker, Strip
Blackjack, and other Sex Games, with Playboy Pl..
Oh yeah - Naughty games for you
Baring Gifts
Here!
Natures Air Horn
Here!
Not Tonight!
Here!
That's My Boy!
Here!
Chicken Pops...
Here
1890's - 1990's I love the new age!
Here!
No means, eat me....
Here!
Eat & run
Here!
The echo will surprise you
Here!
At the top!
Here!
Lots Of Them
Here
Billboard
Here
All Juice
Here
Batdog?
Here
Wilma!
Here
Good Old Days
Here
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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the
making!
So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep on rockin'
it's a state of
mind
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©1999 - 2008 - Deborah Austin - All
rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'
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