Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor: Amanda260
Internet Security Editor: DebsSweet
BEWARE!
Good things to see in the INTERNET SECURITY section
below -- please be aware that there are bad people
online who wish to do our systems harm!
Shame on them!
We all know that stealing is wrong.
Meet Trilby. He's an eccentric British cat burglar. His goal is to steal
from the rich and give to himself!
In this game, you become Trilby. You'll carry out a number of daring heists. But watch for obstacles.
You'll face alarms and humans who can foil a heist. Fortunately, you have
plenty of tools at your disposal. But use them judiciously! This is in the GAMES section!
Be careful when surfing the Internet.
I have checked all links except Naughty and XTreme that all
submitted to you and they are in working order as of this posting.
Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with
your
anti-virus and adware removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break
my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send
an email
to me at aol and your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's
time to ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be
a wild ride!
Little Jack Horny, sat in a corner,
Eating his honey pie.
He put in his thumb and pulled out his chum
And said, "Dude, you are SO dead!"
Ron Arol
v v v v v
A boss to a retiree: "As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold watch to serve as a
reminder of your many years with the company. It needs a lot of winding up, is always a little late,
and every day at quarter to five, it stops working."
v v v v v
Hillary Clinton says she's pro-guns. She likes to hunt ducks.
Vice
President Dick Cheney said, "Oh stop . . . you're making me hot."
v v v v v
This weekend, Chelsea Clinton tried to help her mother attract the
gay vote in Pennsylvania by visiting several lesbian bars. When
asked to comment afterwards, Chelsea said, "I've never seen so
many women with my mom's haircut."
Conan O'Brien
v v v v v
Naked on the Bathroom Floor
1/2 oz tequila
1/2 oz Rumple Minze® peppermint liqueur
1/2 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
1/2 oz Wild Turkey® bourbon whiskey
1/2 oz Goldschlager® cinnamon schnapps
1/2 oz DeKuyper® Hot Damn cinnamon schnapps
Stir together in a short glass, and serve.
Born on the 4th of July
Scale ingredients to servings
1 1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1 1/2 oz sloe gin
fill with cream
Pour blue curacao into an ice-filled collins glass. Carefully layer both
the sloe gin and cream on top of the ice. (The result should be a
blue and red drink with tendrils of white shooting through the colors
v v v v v
"Paris Hilton has signed up to star in a new TV show about taking
care of your pets. In the first episode, Paris shows her dog the
proper way to hump someone's leg"
Conan O'Brien
v v v v v
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having Sex In A
McDonald's
10. Should I take her someplace more romantic like Applebee's?
9. Am I going to get "The McClap"?
8. Should we just stay in the car and have sex in the drive-thru?
7. The rats won't mind, will they?
6. Would she rather have had a 'Whopper'?
5. Is this what my dad meant when he said, "Go get a job at
McDonald's"?
4. Should I add fries and a soda for an extra 99 cents?
3. Can I tell my wife I was just getting a Happy Meal?
2. Should I see a psychiatrist?
1. Is this going to hurt my wife's presidential campaign?
v v v v v
El camino del Rey - Brightcove
http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1438490562
If heights bother you - then you won't believe this. A must see
for everyone
Human Footprint | National Geographic Channel
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/episode/human-footprint-3224/Overview
New show - it's quite good!
submitted by: bubbasam1956
I hope you will all watch this please
Mama Said Knock You
Out - - Vintage Photos At MangoFalls
Snapshots often give interesting glimpses into people's lives.
Few things are as fascinating as perusing other people's photos.
OK, you may disagree with that last statement. But how many times have you browsed others' pictures on sites like Flickr?
So, I'd like to introduce you to Joe. He's made a hobby of collecting other people's photos.
He gets undeveloped rolls of film from junk shops. Then, he processes them.
Finally, he and his young daughter sift through the photographs. The good ones go up on his site,
MangoFalls. And believe me, there are plenty of good ones.
Many are funny, while others are just odd. kkomando.com
I'm sure you'll find the photos fascinating
Filemail.com - Sending large files has never been easier!
Sharing large files with someone in your office isn't difficult.
Sharing big files with nearby friends and family is also fairly easy.
But when recipients are scattered around the country, things are more difficult.
You shouldn't send huge files via e-mail. That's bad etiquette because it slows recipients' e-mail.
You could also reach the inbox's storage quota. Or, an Internet service provider could strip the large attachments.
So, if you have files to share, try filemail. You can upload up to 2 gigabytes of data. It can be in multiple files.
Then, enter your recipients' e-mail addresses and a message. They will get an e-mail so they can download the files.
You can set time and download limits on the files. Also, the files are encrypted when they're uploaded to ensure privacy.
submitted by: KP1988
FACSNET Top Issues http://www.facsnet.org/issues/apd/aptoday.php3
A service from AP for reporters, this "annotated digest provides Internet
and FACSNET links to enhance depth and
analysis in reporting selected Associated Press stories." It provides links to primary sources -- speeches,
news releases, government reports, laws, statistics, etc. -- for current news stories.
2. Public Agenda Online: Public Opinion and Public
Policy http://www.publicagenda.com/
Nonpartisan issue guides and public opinion on critical public issues. The
guide on abortion, for example,
includes an overview, a digest of recent news stories, facts and trends in graph form, a guide to who the
players are and how to reach them, areas of public consensus and division, cautionary notes on survey findings, and more.
3. www.eNature.com http://www.enature.com/main/home.asp
Includes online field guides to birds, butterflies, native plants, seashells,
and more.
Also, regional wildlife guides by zip code, "bird of the day," "ask an expert," and more.
v v v v v
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going
pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't,
couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!" "Doctor, what's wrong with my
wife?!" "Nothing. She's just having contractions."
v v v v v
The Top 8 Songs About Poor Hygiene
8> Eight Days I Reek
7> These Feet Weren't Made For Washin'
6> Doodoo Child
5> Everybody's Got Something to Wash Except for Me and My Monkey
4> It's Rainin' Phlegm
3> Little Douche, Coop?
2> Wouldn't It Be Lice?
and the Number 1 Song About Poor Hygiene...
1> Brother Love's Traveling Toothbrushin' Show
v v v v v
v v v v v
On a train from London to Manchester, an American tourist
was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the
compartment.
"You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too
much. You think your stiff upper lips make your above the
rest of us. Look at me ... I'm me, I have Italian blood,
French blood, a little Indian blood and some Swedish blood.
What do you say to that?"
The Englishman replied, "Very sporting of your mother."
v v v v v
When President Bush appeared on "Meet The Press," he didn't seem too
well prepared. Actually, there was a reason for it. He thought he
was just going to meet the press, he didn't know they were going to
ask questions. There was one embarrassing moment when President Bush
was asked if he was ever AWOL and he said, "No, we have Earthlink."
v v v v v
Critical Security Warning: Safari for Windows
If you've been reading WorldStart's newsletters for the last few months, you probably already
know about the newest Web browser for Windows called Safari. Safari is a browser made by
Apple that has been used on Mac computers for several years and it is now available for Windows as well.
Personally, I really like Safari and I have used it from time to time on my Windows computer with no trouble at all.
But recently, a major flaw was found in Safari that has heightened my awareness whenever I use it.
Just a couple of days ago, Microsoft announced that a security hole was found in the Safari browser that could put all users at risk.
It seems that a combination of security issues in Safari, along with a flaw in Internet Explorer,
could allow a hacker to run programs on your computer without your permission.
Even more, the bug deploys an attack called "carpet bombing," which fills your desktop with executable files that carry viruses.
If you accidentally run one of those files while trying to delete it, your computer would instantly become infected.
This attack can be triggered by going to a maliciously crafted Web site while using Safari.
Once the page is loaded, the executable file will start piling up and after that, the flaw in Internet Explorer
can be used to run those files and take over your system.
At this time, Microsoft has issued a warning about the security hole and they're currently working on a patch for the Internet Explorer portion.
Apple has stated that they are aware of the issue, but they have not released a statement about a fix for Safari as of yet.
As it stands right now, it's best to stay away from Safari until the patches have been released.
Hopefully, that will happen soon so that you can go back to your normal browsing habits with Safari.
Until next time, stay safe out there, my friends!
~ Gary
worldstart.com
Phishers Target New Victims on LinkedIn
The business networking site LinkedIn is emerging as a new market for online scam artists
Sites' Personal Questions May Pose Security Risk
Asking about your mother's home town is supposed to help legitimate sites protect your online accounts—
but experts say hackers know more about you than you might think.
v v v v v
A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and
dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to
mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she
realized, she had fallen head over heals in love with him,
even though he was a married man.
"Oh, Sam," she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial,
"isn't
there some way we can be together, the way we were meant
to be?"
Taking her by the shoulders, Sam proceeded to scold her,
"Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on
the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms - is that
really what you want for us?"
"No, no..." she sobbed, heartsick.
"Oh," said the lawyer. "Well, it was just a
suggestion."
v v v v v
A Piece
of Cake
by Cupcake Brown
"There are shelves of memoirs about overcoming the death of a parent,
childhood abuse, rape,
drug addiction, miscarriage, alcoholism, hustling, gangbanging, near-death injuries,
drug dealing, prostitution, or homelessness.
Cupcake Brown survived all these things before she’d even
turned twenty.
And that’s when things got interesting.
You have in your hands the strange, heart-wrenching, and exhilarating tale
of a woman named Cupcake.
It begins as the story of a girl orphaned twice over, once by the death of her mother and then again by a
child welfare system that separated her from her stepfather and put her into the hands of an epically sadistic foster parent.
But there comes a point in her preteen years maybe it’s the night she first tries to run away and is exposed to drugs,
alcohol, and sex all at once when Cupcake’s story shifts from a tear-jerking tragedy to a dark comic blues opera.
As Cupcake’s troubles grow, so do her voice and spirit. Her gut-punch sense of humor and eye for the absurd,
along with her outsized will, carry her through a fateful series of events that could easily have left her dead"
Sounds like a good book - but it was boring and shocking to me. Five
abortions? She did
every drug known to man - I can't relate at all. I don't believe a
lot of what she wrote as to
getting legal secretarial jobs by faking a resume (attorney check on this) and
wearing
stilettos, tube tops and miniskirts?!! I think not. Terrible
book. Awful.
v v v v v
Top Ten Reasons Hillary Clinton Loves America
10. We have more Dakotas than every other country combined
9. Canadian Bacon: soggy and chewy; American Bacon: crisp and delicious!
8. Thanks to the Internet, I can order new pantsuits 24/7 -
there's your pantsuit joke, Dave. Are you happy?
7. 232 years and not one cookie shortage
6. TiVO
5. Did I mention the soup? Mmmm, soup
5. Did I mention the soup? Mmmm
4. Did you know former President Teddy Roosevelt was an American?
3. Where else can you get a car painted for $29.95?
2. Is this the part where I say, "Live from New York it's Saturday Night
Live!"?
1. We've got Regis
v v v v v
v v v v v
It was three o'clock in the morning, and the
receptionist
at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old
lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come
quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my
window!"
The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's
room. "Where is he?" she asked.
"He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing
to an apartment building opposite the hotel.
The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no
shirt on, moving around his apartment.
"It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed,"
she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked,
you can only see him from the waist up?"
"The dresser!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on
the
dresser!"
v v v v v
update
In the original review they suggested that the iPod touch's video quality was a deal-killer.
With the 1.1.1 update that quality has improved some what enough to warrant a half-mouse uptick in the rating.
But the touch's feature set remains arbitrary.
Game Room: How gaming on the iPod nano measures up
The third-generation iPod nano adds the ability to play games alongside its music- and video-playback capabilities.
Games guru Peter Cohen looks at whether this small music player delivers big-time gaming fun.
v v v v v
submitted by: MMojoy
Amazing Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat
by using the sink
3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over
and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll
be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
v v v v v
v v v v v
If exercise eliminates fat, how come women get double chins?
v v v v v
submitted by: BADVETTE87
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
upon
A restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling
Somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why such a
Price difference for the Politician?'
The cook replied, 'Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit,
it takes all morning.'
v v v v v
submitted by: BODRUMS57
A Cookie Dough Recipe
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0765.html
Church Window Cookies
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0585.html
Coconut Cookies
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec1521.html
Congo Squares
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0709.html
Cookie in a Jar
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0716.html
v v v v v
Grandpa Homer Jones was kind of deaf but he didn't let
that stop him.
He wasin town one day, just walkin', enjoyin' the sights when a young
lady ran into him, hard.
She helped him up, brushed him off and kept repeating,
"I'm so sorry. I beg your pardon."
"What did ya say?" Uncle Homer asked.
"I beg your pardon is what I said."
"Pardon? How come? What'd ya do?"
"Well, I knocked you over."
"What? Say it louder."
"I said I knocked you over."
"Knocked up? Pity. But I didn't do it."
"It was an accident, Sir, I couldn't help it!"
"What?"
"An accident! Accident!"
"Too bad. Take precautions next time."
v v v v v
If you have sex with a prostitute against
her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
v v v v v
Understanding Hawaiian Dining
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-5147.html?cid=etipArticleLink?cid=articleFeature
Hawaii has lured some of the world's finest chefs to its kitchens
and managed to cultivate some stars of its own in the process. If
you love quality seafood, fresh-grown veggies, and sweet tropical
fruits, you'll think that you've died and gone to heaven. More
North Island Coast of Small Wineries and Big Pleasures - New York Times
http://travel.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/travel/13next.html?8td&emc=td
VISITORS to New Zealand
usually plot a trip to the South Island to taste notable wine
http://travel.nytimes.com/travel/guides/food-and-wine/overview.html?inline=nyt-classifier
or glimpse iconic scenery.
Yet an hour north of Auckland
on the North Island, you can find an alternative wine destination, on the Matakana Wine Coast,
where boutique vineyards and cafes offer specialty wines and sophisticated sustenance
at the end of a drive alongside dramatic bays and through sheep-dappled hills.
v v v v v
Top Ten Signs President Bush Has Too Much Time On His Hands
10. Spends most of the day looking for friends on Facebook
9. Stops by Cheney's office every five minutes to see if he's still alive
8. Calls leaders of foreign countries yelling, "Baba Booey Baba
Booey"
7. Sits on the White House lawn and waves at cars
6. The man is a walking encyclopedia on "The Hills"
5. Gives the 3 p.m. White House tour
4. Earlier today, he washed and waxed Air Force One
3. Doing a three-episode stint as a sexy assistant on "How I Met Your
Mother"
2. "President is on the Trampoline" isn't Secret Service code,
he's actually on the trampoline
1. Finally catching up on unread intelligence memos
v v v v v
v v v v v
Upon retiring from the service, my husband needed a new ID card showing
he had gone from active duty to retirement status.
But the photo taken of him was not particularly good. And he wasn't at all quiet about it.
"If I have to carry that ID around with me for the rest of my life,"
he complained to the photographer, "I want a better picture."
"Want a better picture?" asked the photographer defiantly.
"Then bring us a better face!"
v v v v v
Click here: BooksInMyPhone - read books on your cell / mobile phone, carry a library in your pocket!
http://www.booksinmyphone.com/
Publishers have experimented with e-books for years. Their efforts have been largely unsuccessful.
But things are beginning to change. Sony recently released an acclaimed e-book reader. And Amazon can’t keep its Kindle reader in stock.
So, maybe it's time you gave e-books a try. No, I’m not suggesting you invest hundreds of dollars in a reader.
I’m suggesting you do something more resourceful. Use your phone as an e-book reader!
At BooksInMyPhone, you’ll find hundreds of e-books designed specifically for phones.
And there is no price to pay! The books are all in the public domain. You’ll also find Creative Commons works.
You’ll find classics like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Hamlet and The Call of the Wild. There’s something for everyone!
In just three simple steps you can download pictures, music, videos, docs or any other file
to your cellphone (and your iPhone). Upload your file, choose the compression settings
and we will send you an SMS/text message with the download link.
It's simple, it's fast and - it's free :-)
v v v v v
Researchers have found
that mice fed the
caffeine equivalent of 3
to 5 cups of
coffee per day were
protected from
UV-induced skin cancers. Based
on these
experiments, they concluded
that human
coffee and tea drinkers should
also have
lower risks for skin cancer.
How long do
you think it will be before Starbucks
and
Micky D’s jump on the marketing
bandwagon
and use the news to sell
more brews?
The Top 7 Rejected Marketing Slogans For
"Healthy" Caffeine
7> Cancer-reducing coffee? You're soaking in it!
6> 9 out of 10 Dermatologists Recommend Upping Your SPF*
(*Starbucks Protective Frappuccino)
5> We've replaced Bob's SPF45 lotion with Folger's Crystals.
Let's see if he notices!
4> 50,000 Canadian Lab Rats Can't Be Wrong!
3> Our Special Drip keeps you off *their* special drip!
2> Now if we could just figure out a way to claim all this other
crap is healthy!
and the Number 1
Rejected Marketing
Slogan For
"Healthy" Caffeine...
1> Starbucks. Who's the Health Food Store *Now*?!?
v v v v v
submitted by: trmom05
Return to the magical Rainbow Kingdom for all-new matching fun in this colorful sequel!
The lands of Rainbow Kingdom have been freed from the Sorcerer Spider's sticky spell but Royal Palace is caught in a dastardly web.
Group colored beads into matching groups of three or more in more than 80 challenging levels to vanquish the villainous spider once and for all.
Colorful, addictive, and full of surprises, Rainbow Web II is a vibrant adventure for the whole family.
Click here: Hammer Heads Deluxe
It's smashariffic fun from the creators of Bejeweled 2 Deluxe and Zuma Deluxe!
The gnome population has gotten so far out of control they're literally popping up everywhere!
Bash them with your hammer as quickly as you can while keeping an eye out for special gnomes, prizes, and power-ups.
Explore three different game modes, earn trophies, and upgrade your gnome-bashing hammer.
Whack away your day with this original, colorful, and altogether smashing good time.
v v v v v
Top Ten Questions President Bush Asked The Pope
10. "Where is the little lady?"
9. "How long have you been Popping?"
8. "Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?"
7. "Have you ever tried eggs Benedict?"
6. "Could you perform an exorcism on Dick Cheney?"
5. "You on spring break?"
4. "What are you doing for Passover?"
3. "Could you record a wacky greeting for my voicemail?"
2. "Can I come up to visit you and Rudolph at the North Pole?"
1. "Could you do something about my approval rating?"
v v v v v
As a three year old put his shoes on by himself.
His mother noticed
the left one was on the
right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said,
"Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."
v v v v v
Setting Up an Internet Connection in Windows Vista
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-4690.html?cid=etipArticleLink?cid=articleFeature
For most people, setting up an Internet connection is as simple
as contacting an Internet Service Provider (commonly a phone
company or cable TV company), arranging to have the Cable Guy
come by at a time when you're home, sacrificing your credit card
for a moment, and turning on your computer. More
v v v v v
The Top 9 Surprises In
"Indiana Jones
And
The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull"
9> Adult Short-Round still crashing on Indy's sofa.
8> Indiana Jones 2? It was all just a bad dream.
7> Indy's new sidekick? Jar Jar Binks.
6> Shia LaBeouf is balder than Harrison Ford.
5> Donald Sutherland shows up with some pot and nails Karen Allen.
4> Dr. Henry Jones Sr. now played by Roger Moore.
3> Turns out Indy first learned about using whips in the bedroom.
2> The Crystal Skull is actually cubic zirconia. But it makes a great bong!
and the Number 1 Surprise In
"Indiana Jones
And The Kingdom Of The Crystal
Skull"...
1> Can Indy still outrun the giant boulder? Yes, with the help of
The Scooter Store!
v v v v v
HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! They
don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party
atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this
country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus
saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could
charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the
tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women.
Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry
would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a
golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
v v v v v
PC World - Business Center: Court Finds Dell Guilty of Fraud
Shame on you, Dell
v v v v v
submitted by: DeVulcano
The Silent Generation...people born before 1945.
The Baby
Boomers...people born between 1945 and 1961.
Generation X...people born between 1962 and 1976.
Generation Y...people born between 1977
and 1999.
Why do we call the last group of people Generation Y?
I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation! A picture is worth a thousand words!
v v v v v
Moshe was recovering in hospital from prostate surgery. To make matters worse,
his surgeon had told him
that it would be six weeks before he could be sexually active again.
Peter visited him to wish him well.
Robert visited him to wish him a speedy recovery.
His partner Abe visited his wife.
v v v v v
On a lonely, moonlit country road a young man's car engine
started
to cough. Immediately pulling over to a scenic little spot he said
to the young lady next to him, "That's funny, I wonder what that
knocking noise was?"
"I'll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly, "It
wasn't opportunity. "
v v v v v
Readers' Best Opening Lyrics: No. 25 - Spinner.com
http://www.spinner.com/2007/08/24/readers-best-opening-lyrics-no-25/
When we compiled our Best Opening Lyrics
we knew we'd break your little hearts by leaving off some of your favorites. We were also pretty darn sure you'd let us know.
Here are the 25 you shouted about the loudest. Hey, no
hard feelings
A Jazz Anthology MP3 Choose listen download 19651 tunes jazz artists
http://www.jazz-on-line.com/index.htm
submitted by: jacksinfl@gmail.com
Neil Diamond sings his greatest hits._ http://worriersanonymous.org/Music/Fiftysetc/Love/Neil/Neil.html
v v v v v
The Top 9 New Warnings on
DVDs
9> Warning: May increase your desire to wear a mask and slaughter
horny teenagers.
8> Warning: This movie may contain bits and pieces of other movies.
7> Warning: If you've seen the commercial for this movie, you've
seen all the good parts.
6> Warning: You may have seen this movie three years ago in Japanese.
5> Caution: Contains athlete attempting to act.
4> Warning: This film takes a beloved franchise and runs it into the
ground.
3> Warning: May give false hope of beauty queens falling in love
with nerds.
2> Warning: This movie once again revisits the fact that Bruce
Willis is "too old for this sh*t!"
and the Number 1 New Warning on DVDs...
1> Warning: Lack of plot and poor acting may cause drowsiness and
irritability. If symptoms persist, consult your director.
v v v v v
GRILLED HERBED
POTATOES
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
3 pounds small red potatoes, skinned
1 cup green onions, sliced thinly
4 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese, grated
3 tablespoons parsley, chopped
2 tablespoons fresh oregano, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
salt and pepper
DIRECTIONS:
Cook potatoes in a large pot of boiling salt water until
tender. Drain and cool. Preheat grill. Cut potatoes in
half and place in a large bowl. Add 2 tablespoons of
olive oil and toss. Grill potatoes over a medium heat for
5 minutes, turning occasionally. Transfer to bowl. Add
remaining ingredients and toss. Season with salt and pepper.
YIELD: 6 servings
v v v v v
Komando.com, Website for The Kim Komando Radio Show®, Komando
http://www.komando.com/downloads/category.aspx?id=4484
We all know that stealing is wrong.
Meet Trilby. He's an eccentric British cat burglar. His goal is to steal
from the rich and give to himself!
In this game, you become Trilby. You'll carry out a number of daring
heists. But watch for obstacles.
You'll face alarms and humans who can foil a heist. Fortunately, you have
plenty of tools at your disposal. But use them judiciously!
Click
here: Aquazone Seven Seas Deluxe - PC World Download Store
Aquazone
Seven Seas Deluxe
40 Stunning Fish, Sharks, Turtles, and Jellyfish!
Have you always dreamed of owning a aquarium filled with exotic fishes and sea life but the time, cost,
and maintenance of a real tank was simply too much? Well, with Aqua zone Seven Seas Deluxe,
your dream has come true!
AquaZone delivers a state-of-the-art virtual aquarium on your Mac and PC! Aqua zone is so vibrant, so life-like,
you will swear the fish are real!
If you want brilliant colors, deep photo-realistic backgrounds, and an array of photo-realistic fish
that rivals the finest exotic pet stores, then Aqua zone is for you.
Easy to use! No complicated set-up or cleanup required! Just pick your customizable tank
and as many fish as you want. It's that easy.
With Aquazone, you're instantly a connoisseur of your own virtual aquatic world.
Click here: PC World - PC World Downloads - AVG Anti-Virus Free Edition
Free program protects against viruses and
hackers.
Editor's Note: PC World tested AVG 7.5 Anti-Virus
Professional Edition in our April 2007 antivirus roundup.
Its 91 percent overall malware detection rate puts it in the middle of the pack in that critical category.
The software's last-place proactive protection performance, clunky interface, and lack of U.S. phone support,
however, dropped it to seventh place in our rankings. The file offered here is the slightly different free-of-charge version,
not the $30 Professional Edition.
AVG Anti-Virus Professional did a fine job in the disinfection
tests, reversing more than 80 percent of changes made by malware.
It was the only program that removed all malware files and reversed both changes to the Hosts network settings file,
though like every other app it missed some less-important Registry changes.
v v v v v
So there's this Wizard who worked in a factory.
Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants,
taking advantage of his good nature,
would steal his parking spot.
This continued until he put up the following sign:
"This parking space belongs to the Wizard. Violators will be toad."
v v v v v
CHUNKY GUACAMOLE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
2 large ripe avocados
2 medium tomatoes, finely chopped
2 jalapeno chilies, seeded and chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, finely chopped
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
dash pepper
DIRECTIONS:
Mash avocados with a potato masher (leave chunky). Mix all
ingredients together in a glass bowl, cover and refrigerate
at least 1 hour to allow flavors to blend. Serve with
tortilla chips.
Category: Vegetables, Appetizers
v v v v v
v v v v v
Musical legend Neil Diamond made
an
appearance on the hit TV show
"American
Idol"
recently. What happened?
The Top 5 Surprises in Neil Diamond's "American Idol"
Appearance
5> Jason Castro said to him, "Dude, it's like you just talk
loudly to music."
4> Creepy old guy + guitar + leather = sufficient grounds for
restraining order.
3> Diamond's performance: too Jewish.
2> Paula Abdul was found backstage smoking his chest-hair.
and the Number 1
Surprise in Neil
Diamond's "American
Idol" Appearance...
1> In a surprise moment, Barbra Streisand shows up and brings him
flowers.
v v v v v
submitted by: DeVulcano
Click here: ~*~
Especially For You ~*~
http://www.spiritisup.com/especiallyforyoubr.html
v v v v v
submitted by: BADVETTE87
To prepare for my daughter's
First Communion, I called the church in
the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.
We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy
well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father,
I told her that I couldn't remember.
After a brief silence, she
said, "Ma'am, I'm
talking about the name of the baby's father."
v v v v v
The Top 15 Things We Really Don't Want to Know
(Part II)
15> What kind of hair that is in our cappuccino
14> What the absolute worst job in the porn industry is
13> How porcupines mate
12> How Grandpa keeps from stepping on his ball sack
11> Whether or not size is really important
10> Where the bucket of balls goes after a long day of neutering
at the ASPCA
9> What Meat Loaf won't do for love
8> What that gay hooker guy did to earn his White House press pass
7> What kind of woman Chris White would *refuse* to get in a hot tub with
6> If Rosie O'Donnell ever tries to squeeze into her leather
costume from "Exit to Eden"
5> How many movies Mariah Carey could possibly make before she dies
4> Why those guys kept calling our wife "Vacuum" at her tenth
high-school reunion
3> Mom and Dad's all-time favorite position
2> Which co-worker's residual body heat we're feeling on the toilet seat
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing We Really Don't Want to Know...
1> Whether that "You're welcome!" from the other side of the
glory hole was actually a falsetto
v v v v v
PC World - How to Reset Your Net Connection
http://www.pcworld.com/video/id,541-page,2-bid,4/video.html
If your Internet connection is dead, don't panic. We walk you through a
series of steps to troubleshoot the problem and fix it.
We cover issues dealing with cables, routers, ISP customer service, and Windows network settings.
v v v v v
I've always been a fan of "do the drapes match
the carpet?" but we here at Top5 have
come up
with a few other subtle ways of
finding out.
The Top 6 Ways To Ask If Someone
Is A Natural Blond
6> Do you need to make two coloring appointments?
5> Does your hair dresser do floors and ceilings?
4> Been blond long?
3> Does the belt match the shoes?
2> Do the short curlies match the long curlies?
and the Number 1 Way To Ask If Someone Is A Natural Blond...
1> Does Gladys match the Pips?
v v v v v
Worst
Cities for Road Rage Revealed - AOL News
Are the drivers where you are more likely to wave you on or cut you off?
A new survey reveals the cities that are worst for road rage -- and the ones with the most courteous drivers.
Click through the galleries below to see where they are.
v v v v v
A man was lying on the psychiatrist's couch as his
therapist
addressed him.
"Well, Jim. I'm pleased to announce that this will be our final
session. I believe that you finally are cured of your paranoia."
"Yes, doctor. I am."
"I remember how you used to think that men in black were following
you everywhere. But you don't believe that anymore, do you?"
"No, doctor. I don't"
"I remember also how you used to think that black helicopters were
hovering over your house. But you don't believe that anymore either,
do you?"
"No, doctor. I don't"
"Finally, I remember how you used to think that CIA agents were
monitoring your mail, bugging your phone, and snooping into your
affairs. But you don't believe that anymore either, do you?"
"No, doctor. I don't. Thanks to your therapy, I no longer harbor
such delusions. In fact, you've been so helpful to me, that I'm
really sorry that I have to kill you now," said Jim, as he pulled
out a gun.
The psychiatrist was shocked. "Wait a minute. Why do you have to kill
me?"
"You know too much."
v v v v v
Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you're a Navy
SEAL. Case in point: My grandson's Kindergarten class on Career Day.
I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After
I finished, hands shot up into the air all over the classroom. The
kids were eager to ask questions. One little girl asked, "Can you
balance a ball on the end of your nose?"
v v v v v
What Makes Men Fall in Love? on Yahoo! Health
Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice,
I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love.
While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine
when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.
Hormones converge for couples in love - 05 May 2004 - New Scientist
Men are from Mars and women from Venus - except when they are in love. During this intense period, men and
women become more like each other than at any other time.
We already know that falling in love is a bit like going crazy. Donatella Marazziti of the
University of Pisa in Italy showed in 1999 that levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which has a calming effect,
dip below normal in those who say they are in love as well as in people with obsessive compulsive disorder.
Both groups spend inordinate amounts of time obsessing about something or someone
v v v v v
To celebrate my birthday, my husband and I dressed up for an evening at the
theatre.
We left our apartment to take the bus downtown, but we didn't have exact change, so my husband ducked into a store to break a few dollars.
As I waited, I was approached by a panhandler. He held out his cup and said, "Lady, can you spare some change?"
"I'm sorry, no," I answered. "I'm actually waiting to get some
right now."
Looking at me with surprise, he leaned forward confidentially and said,
"You gotta get a cup"
v v v v v
NEW WORDS FOR 2008
1. BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: Process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement
by kissing up to the boss rather than by hard work.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm,
and heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the
couch potato.
8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppress ive Mortgage.
What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because magnetic strip
is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment spectacles that are annoying but
you find yourself unable to stop
watching (eg. Dancing with the Stars).
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out
of an electronic device
to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning
just above the rank and file.
15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From World Wide Web error Message
'404 Not Found,'
meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is,
such as fast food joints, strip malls.
17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize you've just made a big mistake
(eg. hitting 'send' in error on an email).
18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.
v v v v v
Handling Your Laptop with Care
There are some things people do to their laptops that can put them in
great danger.
One major example is letting their laptop charge for longer than it needs to. Most laptop owners are
under the impression that if they leave their laptop on the charger for as long as possible,
they'll be able to get more "juice" (power) out of it. And that's just simply not true. In reality,
you're just damaging it and putting it at risk of over heating or exploding. Listed below are a few other harmful things you
should be sure to keep your laptop away from.
Here we go!
*
Over charging.
*
Not handling it with care.
*
Incorrectly replacing its batteries.
*
Leaving it turned on for too long.
*
Leaving it in a high humidity climate.
*
Tampering with the battery compartment.
*
Switching to non-manufacturer batteries.
*
Refusing to turn it off after it's become extremely hot.
*
Trying to repair or reuse a battery that has no more power.
*
Using a charger that didn’t originally come with the laptop.
*
Charging it in an area around too many other cords (extension cords, for
example).
Despite what you might think, over charging your laptop will not give it
more "juice." It will only make it hotter.
You should also always use the charger that came with your laptop. When your laptop gets too hot,
you should turn it off or at least put it into Safe Mode. You need to keep your laptop in a cool area as much as possible.
Now, when replacing the battery, you should refer back to the manual that came with your laptop to get the correct instructions for doing so.
You should only use batteries that have
been approved by the manufacturer as well.
The above guidelines apply to cell phones as well. You should only use
the charger that originally came
with your phone and once it's fully charged, take it off the charger. Even more,
you should only replace the battery with one that has been manufacturer approved and finally,
if your phone gets too hot, just turn it off completely.
If you follow these rules, I promise your precious devices will last much longer!
Tweety Dimes
v v v v v
There's some footage on YouTube of Hillary Clinton trying to make
a cup of coffee. She couldn't get the machine to work. When he
saw the video, Bill Clinton said, "Yeah, she's not very good at
turning things on."
Conan O'Brien
v v v v v
Top Ten
Ways Trevor Immelman's Life Has Changed Since Winning
The Masters
10. "I've been elevated from 'Unknown' to 'Obscure'"
9. "Thanks to the prize money, I no longer have to buy generic
root beer"
8. "Suddenly I don't look so foolish for trademarking 'Immelmania'"
7. "I'm BFF's with Lauren and Heidi from 'The Hills'"
6. "President Bush called to congratulate me on winning Wimbledon"
5. "When my caddy recommends a club I can say, 'Excuse me, how
many Masters have you won?'"
4. "Invited to Masters Winners Week on 'Jeopardy'"
3. "I get a lifetime supply of them little pencils"
2. "Guess who's playing 36 holes with the Pope this weekend?"
1. "Get to put my arm around Tiger Woods and say, 'Maybe next year'"
v v v v v
Yes, you can have too much rain. Recent heavy downpours have leached
fertilizers below
the root zone of many of our vegetables and additional nitrogen will be needed so rapidly growing plants are not slowed down.
If the color of your plants is pale and the growth is less than expected, a sidedressing of fertilizer may be in order.
Use a fertilizer that is composed primarily of nitrogen such as nitrate of soda (16-0-0). Sprinkle the fertilizer
around the base of the plant but about six inches from the plant itself. Savvygardeners.com
Yew Getting' Too Much Rain?
Yews have relatively few problems but are especially sensitive to wet feet.
Heavy rains are starting to take their toll on area Yews.
Too much rain saturates soils and pushes out oxygen. Because every living cell in a plant must have oxygen (including the roots),
waterlogged soil may kill plants. If your yew suddenly loses branches, or the entire plant turns brown, check the soil.
Low oxygen levels in saturated soil are probably to blame. Do not over water, and be sure to plant in well-drained soil.
If you must plant in heavy soil, shape the planting area into a mound or crown the planting bed so excess water drains away.
v v v v v
"I play golf in the
low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the
club.
"Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive."
"Not really," said the little old man.
"Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke."
v v v v v
I was very pregnant, and it was rotten luck when, several days
before my due date, my husband fell from the porch roof, sprained
both ankles and was restricted to crutches. So when I went into
labor and he couldn't drive, I took the wheel, stopping every time
I had a contraction.
Finally, we got to the hospital. I dropped him at the maternity
entrance, and he hobbled off to the admitting desk, where the
nurse told him to follow her to the Emergency Room.
"Wait! It's my wife," he told her. "She's in Labor."
"Where is she?" the nurse asked.
"She's parking the car and bringing in the bags."
v v v v v
"He's an honest guy. McCain said last week he doesn't understand the economy as well as he should.
In fact, did you hear his plan to save energy? Clap-on, Clap-off."
Jay Leno
v v v v v
v v v v v
While employed at a card-and-gift shop, I received a call
from
a young woman who had ordered wedding invitations just two weeks
before. She wanted to know if it was too late to make a few changes
on them. I told her to give me the new information and I would
check with the printer.
"Okay," she said. "It's a different date, a different church and
a different guy."
v v v v v
While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand
which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was
just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed
on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a
sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune
teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he
began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped
out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her. A
policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to
the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him,
"What do you think you're doing?" After a moment the man replied,
"Well, I've always wanted to strike a happy medium."
v v v v v
SEVEN LAYER SALAD
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1/4 head iceberg lettuce, washed
1/2 cup bottled real bacon pieces
1/2 medium green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1/2 small onion, chopped
5 ounces frozen peas, thawed
2 celery ribs, chopped
1 carrot, peeled and shredded
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
3/4 cup mayonnaise type salad dressing
2 Tbs. sugar
1/2 cup croutons
DIRECTIONS:
Prepare day before serving. Arrange lettuce in the bottom of
a deep baking dish or plastic container with a cover.
Sprinkle with bacon pieces. Layer with remaining vegetables
and sprinkle with cheese. Combine salad dressing and sugar in
a bowl. Spread over top of salad so it is air tight. Cover
and refrigerate until serving time. Just before serving, toss
and add croutons, if desired.
v v v v v
SonnyRadio.com - Printer Problem
http://www.sonnyradio.com/printerproblem.htm
I love these pet videos!
* Sugar-free sweets are no treat for your dog.
Xylitol, a sugar-free sweetener commonly found in candy and gum, could
quickly cause low blood sugar,
impaired muscle coordination, and seizures in dogs. Seek immediate medical
attention if you suspect your dog has ingested this substance. To avoid a trip to the vet, keep bags,
backpacks, and the other places you stash
xylitol-sweetened treats out of reach.
Exploring a Rabbit's Unique Digestive System
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-1634.html?cid=etipArticleLink?cid=articleFeature
One of the most interesting aspects of a rabbit's body is his
digestive system. Unlike a cat or dog, rabbits can eat a wide
variety of plant material. They can process and extract nutrients
from many plants that are indigestible to less adaptable
herbivores or omnivores. More
v v v v v
"President Bush has offered to help
Myanmar. I guess it used to
be called Burma. That's where they had that terrible cyclone,
where thousands of people were killed as the country was hit by
a devastating cyclone. In fact, Bush offered to help the country
under one condition, "Don't tell New Orleans."
Jay Leno
v v v v v
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
It takes only one, but he has to give it a good twist.
v v v v v
"Drake University has become the third college in the nation to
offer a course in wind law, joining the University of Texas and
the University of Oregon. It's a prerequisite course. In order to
study environmental law, you first have to pass wind"
Bob Mills
v v v v v
Surviving Breast Cancer -- ThirdAge
Breast cancer patients might have a powerful
incentive to avoid gaining weight: better odds of surviving the
disease.
New research suggests that for every 11 pounds (5 kilograms) a woman
gains after being diagnosed with breast cancer,
the chances of it proving fatal go up 14 percent.
Ask a Mayo Clinic Specialist - MayoClinic.com
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/AnswersIndex/AnswersIndex
Do you have a health question? Mayo Clinic specialists answer
select questions from readers like you.
Slow and Steady Is Best -- ThirdAge
Dr. Ng cautions that men with other health problems, such as high
blood pressure or diabetes,
should be extra careful when resuming sexual activities. Ideally, they should consult with their doctor on their fitness levels and
frequency of sexual relations so that they do not overdo
it.
He concludes, "At the end of the day, slow and steady as opposed to fast
and furious,
is always preferable, especially to the fairer sex."
Quick Guide to Sugar
Substitutes
Refined sugar is not only the bane of the diabetic, but perhaps
the greatest single source of "empty calories"
in the modern diet. At the same time though research has shown that the craving for sweetness is a deeply
embedded feature of human biology. Since avoiding the taste of anything sweet isn't an option,
and giving in to a sugar binge isn't wise, a range of calorie-free sugar
substitutes on the market can help the diabetic feel fulfilled and stay on track with a healthy eating plan.
In recent years, standard alternative sweeteners like aspartame have been complemented by cutting-edge sweeteners
such as sucralose, more commonly known as Splenda.
v v v v v
The Maltese Donkey had been recovered, but one of its eyes was
missing - the emerald. Sam was on the case - "I won't quit,"
he said to himself, "until Sam's paid." He walked up and down
Red Light Street, in a notoriously bad district of town. He asked
every tight man and loose women he could find about the eye, and
eventually wound himself up in jail for soliciting a prostitute. The
Judge didn't believe his story, and he received a hefty fine. All
because he told a broad, "I'm looking for a hot piece of ass."
v v v v v
During a layover in a Kansas airport, I
couldn't help but notice
someone's name being called over the public-address system,
followed by this announcement:
"We have found your hearing aid. You may come and pick it up from
the customer-service counter."
v v v v v
v v v v v
Top Ten Signs There's Trouble at The Weather Channel
10. They're rerunning forecasts from 2004
9. Weathercasters giggle every time they say, "ball lightning"
8. Hours of programming devoted to footage of clouds that look
like monkeys
7. Watercooler talk includes hilarious comments like, "Doppler. I
don't even know her."
6. Long range forecast - "Winter: Cold, Summer: Hot"
5. CEO was caught selling anemometers out of the trunk of his car
4. Smiling graphic on the sun is giving the finger
3. From 6pm to midnight it's just a guy making wind noises with
his mouth
2. They don't have a single magician on this week
1. Satellite shot always seems to catch Jennifer Aniston sunbathing
v v v v v
Jill calls her friend Linda, Linda picks up the phone.
Jill says "Do ya wanna go to the mall with me?"
Linda asks "why?"
Jill replies, "I need to study cosmetics"
Linda asks "why"
Jill replies "Well, my english teacher says, 'I have a make-up
exam on Monday "
v v v v v
submitted by: ron_stott
Handy Hint #1:
Alka Seltzer...it's not just for colds anymore! Drop two
Alka Seltzer tablets into the toilet bowl, wait twenty
minutes,then brush and flush. The citric acid and
effervescent action clean vitreous China.
Handy Hint #2:
Sprinkle some baking soda into your vacuum bag to help
reduce musty/pet smells being spread throughout your house
when vacuuming.
v v v v v
Top Ten Things Saddam Hussein Would Say If He Were Alive Today
10. "Let me guess - Bush still hasn't caught Osama"
9. "Have I missed any big developments in beret technology?"
8. "I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Star Jones is
getting divorced"
7. "It's nice to see a stable Iraq"
6. "Free Wesley Snipes!"
5. "Please tell me Meredith and McDreamy finally got together"
4. "No number 4 - writer hiding in spiderhole
3. "Damn these rope burns - anyone got a turtleneck?"
2. "I may have been a brutal dictator, but I kept gas prices under
two dollars"
1. "Compared to Fallujah, Hell ain't too bad"
v v v v v
Jon was looking for a little "action."
He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel
room.
Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac.
After six times having sex, she was screaming for more.
After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of
cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped into the men's room.
He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of panic
when he couldn't find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, "Look, it's
okay. She's not here!"
v v v v v
submitted by: BADVETTE87
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb
submitted by: sammy562
YouTube - Don Rickles on Dean Martin Roasts : Dean Martin
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/061505.htm
v v v v v
You know you work for the government when:
The process becomes more important than the
product.
You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject
you know nothing about.
You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there.
You stop raising issues/problems because you know you will be the
one answering them.
You fly first class across the country to attend a conference
with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not
have enough money.
You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym.
You understand the rationalization of an acronym composed of acronyms.
You know that the location of a meeting is directly related to
its importance.
(1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate or a contractor
(2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal attention
You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for
3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
v v v v v
submitted by: BODRUMS57
Mobile cell phone GPS tracking
Aha!
Here!
You actually did it!
Here!
Stop it damn it!!
Here!
Will that be all?
Here!
Cummon already
Here!
Sunday With A Lonely Guy
Here
Lesbians!!!!
Here!
Rags & RICHES (Bitchs?)!
Here!
Meaningless journey....
Here!
Know what I think?
Here!
Swinger
Here
Leave Me ALONE
Here
Longer Than You'd Believe
Here
Prison Life
Here
v v v v v
Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty,
expressed or implied, with
regard
to featured products or services.
Results may vary based on
operating
systems and other variables beyond our control
v v v v v
Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the
making! So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep on
rockin'
it's a state of
mind
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©1999 - 2008 - Deborah Austin - All
rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'
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