Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor: Amanda260
Internet Security Editor: DebsSweet
TV
I haven't been a fan of TV for quite a few years now ---- except for the
cable news shows. Well now, my latest addictions are LOST and Nip Tuck
(I ordered all of the back seasons from Netflix) I seriously need an intervention!
Anyone else like these programs?
Have neighbors who are
driving you nuts?
Find and post good and bad neighbors by searching your desired
area. Add to their
database by clicking on the map - then rate and review. Help
yourself and others
across the world find their dream neighborhood. This link is in the
SURFIN' section
Women have had a major influence on rock music and all of its various
sub-genres from the beginning: as solo artists, as songwriters, and as members
of classic rock bands.
Test your knowledge of the women of classic rock in this
quiz - in the MUSIC NOTES
section of course!
Be careful when surfing the Internet. I have checked EACH link
submitted to you and they are in
working order as of this posting. Always be
aware of the risks out there and keep current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break
my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send
an email
to me at aol and your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's
time to ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be
a wild ride!
"I read this newsletter for the content, not its looks. You are doing a wonderful
job, keep up the good work.
Thank
You !!"
v v v v v
A young man of sixteen was quite clueless about the birds, bees,
and basically life in general. He did, although have a slutty
girl. This slutty girlfriend was getting pretty tired of waiting
for him to make the first move; so, she came right out and told
him she wanted to have sex. This shocked the boy because he was
totally ignorant to the subject.
He ran home and asked his father to explain things to him.
The father tried, but it was in vain. The boy was just to slow
to really understand by mere explanation; so, the father said
"I tell you what, I'll get your mother out of the house and hide
in the closet. You bring your girlfriend over, and I'll tell you
what to do from within the closet."
That night as planned the mother was gone, the father was in the
closet, and the girlfriend came over. They undressed in the boys
bedroom, and the boy, because he was nervous, said he had to go
to the bathroom.
Meanwhile the girl really had to take a shit, I mean bad.
The only bathroom in the house was occupied by the boy. So she
frantically searched and found a shoe box under the bed.
She shit in it and put it back.
The boy came in the room and smelled a horrible stench. He searched
all over the room to locate the source, and when he went to look
under the bed he put his hand right in the box.
"Ohh!!" he screamed. "There's shit in the box!"
His dad yelled from the closet. "Turn her over son, turn her over!"
v v v v v
submitted by: BillieJo50
Money Origami
Folding paper money (or "money origami") is my one true creative
output.
The best original designs include spiders, eyeglasses, sailboats, and framed portraits.
The artist got started in high school when he learned how to make a ring out of a dollar bill.
He generally make these items to leave as tips. A friend of his keeps telling him
"You should write a book...you could make a lot of money."
My slogan is: "Everyone is good at something. Me, I'm
good at spending money."
Origami Masters Exhibition - a photoset on Flickr
These photos are of
the Origami Masters Exhibition being held at the Pendulum Gallery
(HSBC Building, 885 West Georgia, Vancouver, BC)
from October 29 to November 17, 2007. Wow
submitted by:
pavanco1@embarqmail.com
ABC.com - TV Ticket
Requests
Want to see one of your favorite shows - from the audience - for free?
How cool are
you? This test will tell you!
YouTube - Very sexy athletic girl from the musical Africa Africa
She gives the phrase 'double jointed' an entirely new meaning
Locate, Rate, and Share Good and Bad Neighbors Before and After You Move
Find and post good and bad neighbors by searching your desired
area. Add to their
database by clicking on the map - then rate and review. Help
yourself and others
across the world find their dream neighborhood
Join Mamasource, It's Free!
Mamasource is a private website for moms, which is safe, local and free.
Find the advice, referrals, and insight you need, in a supportive community of moms helping moms.
to start talking with other local moms!
Member Benefits (100% Free):
* Meet smart, friendly Moms like you
in your area, online or in-person
* Ask any question and get detailed, helpful
replies from Moms who have "been there"
* Access our extensive archives of past advice,
recommendations,
and local business reviews, all written by other Moms!
Click here: Yahoo! Buzz
The Internet is fickle. One day, someone is an Internet celebrity.
But the next day, people may be interested in someone
else.
So, it's difficult to keep up with the Internet's trends and celebrities.
If you’re feeling behind the times, visit Yahoo! Buzz. You can see a list of
the
most popular Yahoo! searches.
That’s cool. But the real draw is the
list of most popular stories. The list is based on searches, votes and other
factors. The stories are arranged into categories for
easy viewing.
If you think a story is buzz-worthy, vote for it. The more
votes a story gets, the more it goes up on the list.
You’ll probably want to bookmark Yahoo! Buzz. That way, you can check on
the latest
Picasa
Web Albums
Post photos and videos online in seconds
One-click web upload directly from Picasa,
or add photos using a web browser or your Mac.
Share photos with friends and family
Share albums exclusively with friends and family, or make your albums public
and share with
the Picasa community.
View and save your friends' photos
Keep track of your favorite people and see when they add something new.
Download friends' albums too. Enjoy photos at their best
See big photos, scroll through them quickly,
rotate and zoom. Have fun with captions and comments.
Sharing Is Giving
Hello everyone, we just wanted to give you a little background on Sharing
is Giving.
This site of group links was made in the love of the idea that we can make a difference in our
communities as freecyclers. What are freecyclers you may ask.
Freecyclers are folks that have used items that are not being used that are just to good for the landfills.
These folks post the items on a freecycling group such as Sharing Is Giving and freecycle it to a neighbor.
Freecyclers are the next generation of recyclers, how wonderful.
v v v v v
Mrs. Finkel was in her garden, hanging up her washing on the line
when her gossipy neighbor poked her head over the fence.
"I hate to tell you this, Rachel," said the gossip, "but there's
a rumor that your husband, Abe, is chasing the shiksas (non
Jewish girl or woman). And at his age too!" she clucked like a
chicken. "He's seventy-five, no?"
"Nu, so he's seventy-five," replied Mrs Finkel. "So let him
chase girls. Dogs chase cars - but when they catch one, can they
drive it?"
v v v v v
Upon taking a seat at the bar, the exec noticed that each stool
had a number painted on it. Sitting next to him was a rather
depressed-looking gentleman and an attractive young woman who was
obviously enjoying herself.
The newcomer turned toward the unhappy fellow and asked if he knew
the purpose of the numbers.
"Sure," the guy said. "Every half hour, the bartender spins a
wheel
and whoever has the winning seat gets to go upstairs for the wild
sex orgy they have up there."
"That's terrific!" exclaimed the surprised customer. "Have you
won?"
"Not yet," the man said, miserably, "but my date has, four times
in a row!"
v v
v v v
Spyware Cleaner - How To Delete Spyware From Your System
By KetawaUbat(KetawaUbat)
Azwan Asmat is the author of Chuang
Computer Tips
Want to know the secret of securing your PC from dangerous spyware,
adware, and malware programs that can ruin your PC, your
finances,
PC World - Hackers Rig Google to Deliver
Malware
If last November you googled one of thousands of innocuous and common
search terms,
such as "Microsoft excel to access" or "how to teach your dogs to fetch,"
you were in line for an Internet attack that infects PCs with spam senders, password stealers,
and other kinds of nasty malware.
v v v v v
A young mother was having a consultation with a doctor. As they
spoke, her little Johnny could clearly be heard terrorizing people
in the waiting room -- yet she made no attempt to restrain him.
Soon they heard some clattering in an adjoining room, but still
she did nothing. Finally, after an extra-loud crash, the woman
casually told the doctor, "I hope you don't mind my little Johnny
playing in there." "No, not at all," said the doctor calmly.
"Not
at all. I'm sure he'll stop as soon as he finds the mousetrap."
v v v v v
I was in a customer's home one afternoon. While I was talking
to the customer, their 4 year old little girl, whose name was
Michelle, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, "I got
a new bicycle, do you want to see it?"
I said, "Sure, Michelle."
So off to the back yard we went. Upon getting into the back yard,
I saw a brand new girl's bicycle. "Boy, Michelle! That's a
beautiful bicycle," I complimented. "Can you ride it?"
"Yeah, I can ride it," she said, then with a sad face she pouted,
"but it's broke."
I looked at the new bicycle and couldn't see anything wrong with
it, so I asked her, "What's wrong with it?"
"I don't know," she shrugged, "but every time I ride it, it
falls over!"
v v v v v
by deb
The Woman Who Walked Into Doors
by Roddy Doyle
Roddy Doyle's The Woman Who Walked Into Doors will astonish readers with
its heartrending
story of a woman struggling to reclaim her dignity after marriage to an abusive husband and
a worsening drinking problem. Paula Spencer recalls her contented childhood,
the audacity she learned as a teenager, the exhilaration of her romance with Charlo,
and the marriage to him that left her feeling powerless.
Capturing both her vulnerability and
her strength, Doyle gives Paula a voice that is real and unforgettable.
I have never read much about spousal abuse - this was a real eye-opener
for me.
I felt frustrated as to why this woman would stay in such a horrendous marriage.
The author attempts to explain it but
it's still very sad to imagine. If this interests you then you
should 'enjoy' this book.
v v v v v
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One
day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead
mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work;
the guys were getting tired just WATCHING. Then they noticed some
large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could
sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of
breakthroughs that ultimately led to television
v v v v v
Jim: So, Jeff, I hear that Jeff Jr's gone to college.
Jeff: Yeah, that's right, Jim.
Jim: So what do you think he'll be when he graduates?
Jeff: Probably about 35 or 40.
v v v v v
|
v v v v v
The Top 9 Secrets You
NEVER Want Your SO to Learn About You
9> Your weekly session on Tuesday afternoons isn't with a
licensed therapist so much as it is with "Mistress
Stephanie."
8> She thinks you're a vegetarian by the way *that* tastes. You
really eat anything you want and just drink a crap-load of
pineapple juice.
7> The four years you spent on Match.com as BoobsMcGee.
6> No matter how easy you tried to be, no takers.
5> During sex you fantasize about running your fingers through
Donald Trump's hair.
4> Back in the day, you slept with her sister and her mom. *And*
her dad.
3> That this is not your original penis, never mind why.
2> You can't find her G-spot with a GPS.
and the Number 1 Secret
You NEVER
Want Your SO to Learn
About You...
1> That you're a sensitive male. Chicks hate that.
v v v v v
v v v v v
The crumbling, old church building needed
remodeling, so the
preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest
may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and
announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000."
Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man
on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor,
I will increase my donation to $5,000."
Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and
again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."
He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on
the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give
$20,000!"
This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!
v v v v v
Do you have a food memory?
One of mine is Tasty Kakes. We can't seem to get them in Connecticut. The
only time I get to have them is if I order them online and they're expensive
because you have to get a large order. So what's your fond food memory?
The folks at this link
share there’s.
Soups Recipes
12,752 soup recipes!
French Potato Salad With Savory Vinaigrette - Food News Story - WDSU New Orleans
Yummy
v v v v v
ITTY BITTY CHERRY CHEESECAKES
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
12 vanilla wafers
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2/3 cup white sugar
1 (21 ounce) can cherry pie filling
Whipped cream for topping
DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line muffin tins with 12
paper baking cups. Place a vanilla wafer in each one.
In a medium mixing bowl beat cream cheese until fluffy.
Add eggs, lemon juice, and sugar. Beat until smooth and
thoroughly combined. Fill each baking cup 2/3 full with
cream cheese mixture. Bake in preheated oven for 15 to
17 minutes. Cool on a rack. Top with fruit pie filling.
Pipe whipped cream or sweetened cream cheese into a
rosette on top of each cheesecake just prior to serving.
Yield: 12 Servings
v v v v v
Wanna know why I refer to my ex wife as Federal Express?
Because when she goes to a guy's house, it's absolutely, positively
guaranteed that she'll be there overnight.
v v v v v
Fuzzy
Pecker
Scale ingredients to servings
1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz pineapple juice
Combine ingredients in an old-fashioned rocks glass. Drink like a shot.
Red Sox Revenge
While the Red Sox has a wonderfully bright
red color, this drink comes out a rich blue.
It's less sweet but still just as refreshing. Have both the Red Sox and the Red Sox Revenge
and you'll have the team colors of the Boston Red Sox in front of you.
v v v v v
Q: What's got 90 balls and makes women sweat?
A: Bingo.
v v v v v
TEN PET PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS
1. Blaming your farts on me.... Not funny... Not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why
we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised
when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry,
but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know
the truth. You're just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's
boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
v v v v v
submitted by: FL R2D2
(look closely)
v v v v v
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the
children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out
an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in
here?"
"I know!" Little Johnny exclaimed. "Panty hose!"
v v v v v
Whenever I'm beset by problems that seem insurmountable, I always
think to myself: "WWJD." Yep, Woo Woos and Jack Daniel's can get
you through pretty much anything.
v v v v v
Symphonies
you should own
Want to start a symphony collection, but don't know where to begin?
Are you looking to expand upon what you already have?
This list of symphonies will provide you with a variety of musical styles upon
which to build or add to your symphony collection.
Beverly Sills, Operatic Performer - A Profile of Soprano, Beverly Sills
Lots of facts about Beverly Sills
About Classic Rock | Trivia
Quiz
Women have had a major influence on rock music and all of its various sub-genres
from the beginning:
as solo artists, as songwriters, and as members of classic rock bands.
Test your knowledge of the women of classic rock in this quiz.
v v v v v
The Top 8 Nuggets of Wisdom Learned in EMT School
8> Frequent Flyer Alerts: If a patient has clocked more miles in
your ambulance than your *gurney* has, lock the meds cabinet.
7> To Improve Service: A 20% gratuity should be automatically
added to the bill for accidents containing 6 or more victims.
6> What Goes Around: Any EMT who loads a person and subsequently
discovers that person left the ER, went home and called 911 in
the hopes of getting quicker service, will be required to
administer syrup of ipecac and PR bisacodyl STAT.
5> Teeth-to-Tattoo ratio: Anyone with a T-to-T ratio of less than
4-1 is guaranteed to be drunk, on drugs, or both.
4> Fight or Flight: As soon as your district mandates bulletproof
vests, start applying to Nursing School.
3> The Sigh Rule: If, after attaching a 12-lead to a coding
patient, the paramedic sighs deeply, you can clock that
patient's life expectancy with a stopwatch.
2> Law of Funny Names: Any odd-sounding or -spelled name entered
in your PCR will instantly be judged ten-times funnier after
2:00 a.m.
and the
Number 1 Nugget of
Wisdom Learned
in EMT School...
1> "Buff" Rule: In any volunteer EMS service, the member with the
most crap hanging from the belt (knives, Kelly clamps, window
punches, tourniquets, etc.) is a) the newest member of the
squad, and b) has never been there nor done that.
v v v v v
It never fails: Whenever I try to get romantic with a woman,
I always start crying uncontrollably. I guess pepper spray will
do that to ya.
v v v v v
1.) Foobar 2000 - This one is a digital music management program
and it works with Windows 2000, XP and Vista. It is also compatible with
several music platforms, including WAV, Ogg Valis, WavPack, AIFF, AU and many more.
It also comes with full unicode and replay options, as well as, several
other customizable features.
You can check Foobar 2000 out for yourself right here.
2.) Songbird - This one is built off of the Firefox browser
platform and it works with several media players, including the iPod. Songbird
comes with many different add on’s, with more added to the list every day. It's
an open source program, so it's very easy to work with. Check it out here.
3.) YamiPod - This particular player is a little different in
that you don't have to install it on your computer. You can just copy it to
your iPod's hard drive and use it from there. With YamiPod, you can manage
your songs from any computer that runs Mac OS X, Windows or Linux. Just click
on this link to check it out for yourself.
4.) Winamp - You may recognize the name on this one, because we
here at WorldStart have talked about Winamp before. It has been around for
quite a long time, but it is still one of the most popular music players out there today.
It's a full featured music manager and it comes with complete
iPod support. Also, if you have QuickTime installed on your computer along
with Winamp, you are able to play protected songs. Cool, huh?! Take a look at
it for yourself right here.
5.) Amarok - This one only works for Linux and Unix users, but it
is a great iTunes alternative. It works with a wide variety of media players,
including iPods, Zen players, Nomad players, USB players and more. It also
comes with features like album covers, Wikipedia integration, awesome visual effects, lyrics support and so on.
All of that just makes it ten times better. Check Amarok out today right here.
6.) Banshee - Banshee only works with Linux, so if you're a Linux
user, I know you're just going to fall in love with it. It's a free download
and it allows you to do just about anything with your music. You can import
your music, organize it, play it back, share it and even rip it to a CD. So,
if you want to manage your music with no limitations,
Banshee is for you. Check it out here.
7.) Cog - Like iTunes, this is another music player that works
perfectly with Macs. But, if you feel like you're being limited with iTunes,
you may want to give Cog a look see. It takes care of all those problems and
it allows you to actively manage your music. It is supported by several music
platforms, including Ogg vorbis, MP3, FLAC, WavPack, Musepack and many more.
It also comes with features like gapless playback, auto updating, Growl
support, hot keys and seeking. It's definitely worth checking out, which you
can do right here.
v v v v v
The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the
rest of his family who were waiting for the news: "We had twins!"
The family was so excited they immediately asked, "Who do they look
like?"
The father paused, smiled, and said, "Each other."
v v v v v
Top ten
things you don't want to hear from your
real estate agent when you go to close on your new home:
1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's
garden.
2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of
the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."
3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels,
but I'm
told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."
4. "One bleeding toilet doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."
5. "Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer'
bees."
6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would
reach as far back as your property."
7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even
when not in the presence of radioactivity."
8. "Did you know that the band Grave Raper holds their
practice sessions right next door?"
9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the
prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."
10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."
v v v v v
v v v v v
If my doctors have given me just three months to live, is there
really any point in continuing to floss?
v v v v v
Willy and his friend Harry stopped at a bar
and decided to have
a couple of beers .
As they were drinking their beers, they noticed an attractive
young woman came in and sit at the bar across the room from their
table. The way she was sitting, they could see up her skirt,
though in the dim light, they could not see much.
"Check it out," said Harry, "She's wearing black lace
panties!"
Willy looked over, and countered, "That's not black lace, that's
hair, see how it shines!"
Looking harder, Harry said "No it's not, you can tell from the way
she carries herself, she's a real class act. She's got on black
lace panties."
"You're nuts! You can tell from her eyes that she is really
wild. She's not wearing anything under that skirt!"
This went on back and forth for several minutes before Willy
challenged Harry. "I've got $20 that says she is not wearing
panties."
"You're on. How do we find out for sure?"
Willy said "I'll go up to the bar and get a couple more beers. I
can get a better look as I go past her." When he came back a minute
later, Willy had a very strange look on his face.
"Well, what is it, lace or hair?" asked Harry. "Flies!"
v v v v v
submitted by: bubbasam1956@msn.com
Click
here: You Are My Angel, Friendship Ecard
2. Click here : @ LisaB~~That's What Friends Are For~~
v v v v v
During a recent vacation in Atlantic City, a couple went to see
a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a woman
from the back of the theater yelled out:
"Hey, how'd you do that?"
"I could tell you, madam", the magician answered, "But then I'd
have to kill you."
After a short pause, she yelled back, "Ok, then... Just tell
my husband.
v v v v v
Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
v v v v v
The Top 6 Perks of Working on the Top Floor
6> Longer break from work during fire drills.
5> Earn extra income renting your window to depressed employees,
and save company severance costs at the same time.
4> Get to leave boring meetings early under the auspices of
altitude sickness.
3> Finally, the only person who makes you feel stupid and
worthless is your teenage daughter.
2> Good velocity on the pennies you drop trying to get the boss
on his way out.
and the Number 1 Perk of Working on the Top Floor...
1> 62.7 minutes of your workweek is spent in lifts, while the
average worker spends only 29.3 minutes per week in lifts. You
get paid for doing nothing an extra 21.9 minutes per week! And
you get time to work on your rapidly improving mind
calculations.
v v v v v
Diagnosing a Slow Computer
I have Norton 2007 Internet Security and have
kept it up to date. When I’m online,
numerous processes run in the background. Norton identifies these as worms, Trojans or spyware.
Here are the processes identified: LuCallBackProxy, lsass.exe, csrss.exe, smss.exe and wuauclt.exe. My
computer runs very slowly. And I keep getting e-mail offers to make a body part larger.
I have also run anti-spyware to no avail. I'm about ready to
buy a new computer.
ANSWER: Diagnosing problems in our computers can sometimes be complicated.
Looking for various pieces of malware and spyware is a good start. But I
question whether malware is your problem.
First, let's look at your suspect processes. All are valid; none should
be disabled.
LuCallBackProxy
Several people have asked me about this process.
It is actually part of your Norton Internet Security software. It assists
LiveUpdate in retrieving and loading updates for Norton
programs.
This is important for keeping security programs up to date.
Don’t disable it. If you do, your computer could be open to malware.
lsass.exe
This is a Windows system process. It deals with local security and log-in
policies.
It’s used to authenticate users trying to sign on to your computer.
This is crucial for the security of your PC.
However, Isass.exe is a virus. Wait, don’t they look the same? Yes, and that’s
the point.
The good process’ name begins with a lowercase L. The bad one begins with an uppercase I.
When looking at processes on your PC, the font is usually san-serif. This font can make it difficult to tell the difference.
The use of the upper-case I is not coincidental.
Isass.exe can disable your security programs, including your firewall. It
also opens a backdoor for hackers.
This program should be disabled and removed immediately.
But be careful not to mix it up with lsass.exe.
csrss.exe
This is part of the Microsoft Client/Server Runtime Server Subsystem.
It handles most of the graphical commands for Windows.
You need this file for your PC to run properly. Leave it alone.
smss.exe
This process is part of Windows. Its real name is Session Manager
Subsystem.
It controls sessions for your PC.
If you end this process, many programs will not function properly.
wuauclt.exe
This process manages automatic updates for Windows.
It runs in the background and continually checks for updates.
It uses your Internet connection to do the checking.
It’s important to stay on top of Windows updates.
They routinely fix problems with Windows and close security holes.
For the safety of your PC, keep this one around.
Adding RAM
How much random access memory do you have?
If your RAM is minimal, that will slow your computer
seriously.
When RAM overflows, the extra data goes into the paging file. This is
a special section on the hard drive.
When something there is needed by Windows, RAM clears space by sending something to the hard drive.
Then it retrieves the needed data from the paging file.
This to-and-fro from the paging file slows the computer. Why? The hard drive is
much slower than RAM.
The process works, but it requires patience.
The cure is more RAM. For Windows XP, I would use 1 gigabyte of RAM.
In Windows Vista,
I recommend 2 gigabytes. I have a buying guide that covers RAM purchases.
If you have plenty of RAM, test it. Microsoft has a test program , as does Memtest86.
Both are free.
Check for rootkits
It sounds like your antivirus and anti-spyware programs aren't
finding anything.
That means nothing is there. But you may have another
problem: a rootkit.
Rootkits are some of the newest tools in a hacker’s arsenal. They can hide in
the most basic of Windows operations.
They also mask themselves to look like other programs.
Rootkits can carry viruses, worms and other malware.
This tool usually fools both Windows and antivirus programs. Luckily,
there is a solution.
There are several anti-rootkit programs available. I have three free ones on my site:
AVG Anti-Rootkit, Rootkitrevealer and Panda’s AntiRootkit.
Defrag hard drive
Another cause could be a badly fragmented hard drive.
Fragmentation happens as files are written to the hard drive.
Components are placed wherever the drive has space. This can scatter related files all over the drive.
It’s much harder for the drive to call up scattered
files. This can slow your computer.
To correct fragmentation, use the Windows Defragmenter.
Click Start>>All Programs>>Accessories>>System Tools>>Disk Defragmenter.
Choose your hard drive and hit Analyze. Windows will check your drive to see if defragmenting is necessary.
If Windows says it is, click Defragment.
While you’re looking at the drive, do some house cleaning. Using Windows’
Disk Cleanup Utility will remove files you no longer need.
Extraneous files just take up space. This is especially important if you have limited space on your
drive.
Click Start>>All Programs>>Accessories>>System
Tools>>Disk Cleanup.
Select your disk and hit OK. Windows will show your options. Be sure to delete
Temporary Internet Files and dump the Recycle Bin.
Too many start-up programs
Another possibility is that you have too many start-up programs. Some
programs are set to start in the background upon log-in. So, when you try to
start the application later it opens quickly. Many programs do this by default,
even programs you don’t use often. Too many can cause slow
performance.
I can explain the best way to minimize your
start-up programs.
v v v v v
I hate cargo pants, mainly because of the name. I don't really
need that constant reminder that my ass is big enough to be shipped
as freight.
v v v v v
Suzy Lee fell in love, she planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy about it all, she told her pappy so.
Pappy told her, "Suzie Gal, you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo maw don't know, but Joe is yo
half-brother."
So Suzie forgot about her Joe and planned to marry Will.
But after telling pappy this, he said "There's trouble still
you can't marry Will, my gal, and please don't tell yo mother,
cause Will and Joe and several mo I know is yo half-brother."
But mama knew and said, "Honey child, do what makes yo happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe, You ain't no kin to pappy!"
v v v v v
v v v v v
CHICKEN STRIPS ON THE LIGHT SIDE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1/2 pound skinless boneless chicken breasts,
(cut crosswise into 1/4-inch strips)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons butter
1 tablespoon liquid hot pepper sauce
5 celery stalks, cut into 3-inch sticks
Blue Cheese Dip Ingredients
2/3 cup nonfat plain yogurt
2 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise
2 ounces crumbled blue cheese
3 tablespoons finely chopped scallions
1/4 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper
DIRECTIONS:
In a small bowl, whisk together the yogurt, mayonnaise
and blue cheese. Stir in the scallions and pepper and set
aside while preparing the chicken. Cover and refrigerate.
(This recipe can be made one day ahead to this point.) Heat
the oil in a large, preferably nonstick skillet. Season the
chicken with the salt. Cook the chicken over medium-high
heat, stirring frequently, until lightly browned and cooked
through, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove the skillet from the heat.
Add the butter and hot pepper sauce to the pan and swirl
until the butter melts and the sauce coats the chicken.
Serve the chicken and celery sticks along with the blue
cheese dip. Provide toothpicks for spearing the chicken and
dipping it in the sauce.
Makes 6 servings.
v v v v v
Is it better to maintain my engine's oil level at... — Yahoo!
Autos
Most vehicle manufacturers say it’s okay to wait until the level reaches the add mark to add oil.
The add mark But considering that the crankcase capacity on most passenger cars today is only four quarts,
running the engine 25% low on oil (one
quart) may not be wise. Here’s why
v v v v v
Two prostitutes were talking. The first one said, "Last night I
made $500 and I feel like a bottle of champagne."
"Well, last night
I made $5000," said the second, "and I feel like a pot of glue!"
v v v v v
v v v v v
A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less
intelligent she is.
I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite.
I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent
men become.
v v v v v
"What happened to you and that last guy you dated for so
long?" asked Jane.
"Oh, HIM!" exclaimed June. "My God, Jane, he was just too big
for me."
"Oh!" Jane giggled. "Wow! Really? Too big for you, huh?"
"Yep,"
replied June. "He sure was....a big liar, a big jerk, and a big
asshole!"
v v v v v
Volcanoes fume beneath Iceland's Vatnajokull
glacier, a
sprawling ice field about the size of Rhode Island and
Delaware combined. Watch this clip for an inside look.
Seeing
Boston's Great Architecture
Boston is downright beautiful. Red-brick buildings and
cobblestone streets contrast delightfully with modern glass
towers (and concrete boxes that seemed like a good idea at the
time). The wide and wild variety of architecture makes the city a
visual treat. More
v v v v v
SHRIMP BAKE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup butter or margarine, melted
3/4 cup lemon juice
3/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon coarsely ground pepper
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1 tablespoon hot sauce
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 1/2 pounds unpeeled large or jumbo shrimp
2 lemons, thinly sliced
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
fresh rosemary sprigs
DIRECTIONS:
Combine first 9 ingredients in a small bowl; set aside.
Rinse shrimp with cold water; drain well. Layer shrimp,
lemon slices, and onion slices in an ungreased 13x9x2-inch
baking dish. Pour butter mixture over shrimp. Bake
uncovered, at 400 for 20 to 25 minutes or until shrimp turn
pink, basting occasionally with pan juices. Garnish with
fresh
rosemary sprigs.
YIELD: 6 SERVINGS
v v v v v
v v v v v
Charlton Heston passed away. As a spokesman
for the NRA, he famously told
gun-control
advocates they would not get his gun
unless
they could pry it "from my cold, dead
hands."
The Top 5 Quotes That Will Get You Elected NRA
President
5> "Got Ammo?"
4> "That IS a gun in my pocket, but I am happy to you."
3> "Bullet lead kills far fewer innocents than the lead found in
our children's toys."
2> "Guns don't kill people. It is the sudden impact of massively
velocitized pellets of lead upon relatively unprotected, soft
bodily organs that kill people."
and the Number 1
Quote That Will
Get You Elected
NRA President...
1> "How do I get Hillary blood off my boots?"
v v v v v
Elbert: Cell phones become status symbol
DesMoinesRegister.com - Des Moines, IA, USA
Watching TV the other night, it occurred to me that cell phones are now the
status symbol.
Cell phone ads have replaced car commercials as the chief ...
Cell Phone
Freebies
WPTV - West Palm Beach, FL, USA
Jacob Wilson, I use my phone a lot; From basic cell phones to PDA's...
soon-to-be college freshmen Jacob Wilson and Tyler Funderburk
know the level of ...
How to Help Teens Use Cell
Phones Wisely
Yahoo! Tech - Sunnyvale, CA, USA
As the immediacy of technology will allow, the photo gets forwarded to more cell
phones,
followed by many regrets. A 14-year-old New Jersey boy was
charged ...
v v v v v
In the high school science quiz, there was a question: When water
becomes ice, which of its physical properties increases?"
Everyone answered: "Its volume increases"
Except one wise guy who wrote, "When water becomes ice, its price
increases."
v v v v v
My wife is such a bad cook. if we leave dental floss in the kitchen
the roaches hang themselves.
v v v v v
Kewlbox - Motu’s Island Hop - free online and
downloadable games Motu wants to visit his wonderfully wet
friends in Aquatica’s water park.
But crabs, sea urchins, and an ocean full of hazards could cut short his trip. Put on your
wetsuit and help Motu swim through this splashy game!
_
Hollywood Starlets Trivia - MSN Games - Free
Online Games ;=)
They’re young, glamorous… and rarely out of the headlines.
But how much do you really know about the latest crop of Hollywood starlets?
Test your knowledge of the next generation of Tinseltown’s
leading ladies in our star-packed trivia game!
MSN Games - Free
Download Games
The Dark Wizard has emerged in the Land of Arcane and is taking
control over its mischievous dwellers.
With little guidance from their feeble Kings, the villagers need your help to thwart off evil curses
and return peace across the realm.
v v v v v
My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns
to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked
his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?"
"That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food.
Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?"
A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear
my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh..what should I feed Lily
for lunch?"
v v v v v
Waitress: "Are you very Hungary?"
Diner: "Yes, Siam."
Waitress: "What would you like me to Serbia?"
Diner: "I'll have a Turkey sandwich and a cup of coffee."
Waitress: "Would you like anything India coffee?"
Diner: "Just a Cuba sugar would be fine."
Waitress: "Okay, I'll Russia your order."
Diner: "I hope the sandwich doesn't have any Greece on it."
v v v v v
Five secrets to faster Vista starts | Ed Bott’s Microsoft Report | ZDNet.com
ZDNet blogger Ed Bott writes: "The wise old men of mainstream tech
journalism are once again repeating the conventional wisdom that Vista is slow to start up and slow to shut down.
They're wrong." He explains how you can
fix the problem if you encounter a
slow startup
v v v v v
Top Ten Signs You Can No Longer Trust The Thief In Your Party
1. Your characters often get sharp pains in their backs (followed
by profuse bleeding).
2. After dinner, your mage often gets indigestion, followed by
nausea (followed by death).
3. Thief always wants to take first watch, then can't be found in
the morning.
4. Valuable items keep disappearing from your fighter's cloak
(the one with the large side pockets).
5. After battles, the thief often regretfully explains there's no
treasure (but seems to have difficulty walking).
6. Your party's gold seems to be taking on a slight greenish colour.
7. Healing potions do very little to heal your character (and
taste kinda watery).
8. Thief always hangs back in battle, and complains he "just
couldn't get into the right position".
9. Strangely, everyone has a hangover the next morning except
the thief.
10. The chance of an expeditioneer dying from "food poisoning"
seems directly proportionate to his wealth.
v v v v v
Top Ten Messages Left On Eliot Spitzer's Answering Machine
10. Hey, what's new?
9. It's Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my
running mate? Never mind.
8. Ralph Nader here, glad to hear I'm not the only politician who
has to pay for it
7. I'm calling from the New York Post. Would you rather be known as
"Disgraced Gov. Perv," or "Humiliated Whore Fiend"?
6. This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got
caught having sex with Lincoln's wife
5. It's Dr. Phil, call me if you need any horses*** advice
4. This is Sen. Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?
3. It's Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer
three-way
2. Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free
1. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I'm no longer America's
creepiest governor
v v v v v
BAKED SWEET POTATO SHOESTRING FRIES
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
3 tablespoons orange juice
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/8-inch strips
(about 1-1/2 pounds)
Cooking spray
INSTRUCTIONS:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine first 5 ingredients in a
small saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 2 minutes
or until slightly thick. Remove from heat; let cool. Combine
juice mixture and potatoes in a large bowl; toss well. Remove
potatoes from bowl; discard juice mixture. Arrange potato
strips in a single layer on a baking sheet coated with cooking
spray. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes or until edges are
crisp.
YIELD: 4 Servings
v v
v v v
v v v v v
Once a year Forbes makes a list of the world's richest bastards -
then rubs our faces in it
v v v v v
During court one day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note
reading: "Blind on right side, may be falling. Please call someone."
Understandably alarmed, the clerk called for help before whispering
to the judge that paramedics were on their way. Puzzled, the judge
pointed to a sagging Venetian blind on the right side of the room
and explained, "I was thinking someone from maintenance!"
v v v v v
Computer No Nos
Back by popular demand!
Have you ever committed a computer no no? I'm sure we all have at one time or
another,
but we really should watch ourselves from here on out. To help you pinpoint a computer no no,
here are a few things you should never do with your computer. With this
list, maybe you can stop yourself in the act next time something comes up!
First of all, you should never turn your computer off while you're in the
middle of a program or if you
have a bunch of windows open.
You need to always close out all your programs and windows before shutting down your computer.
If a program freezes up on you, always try to use Ctrl + Alt + Del
before you do anything else.
Another thing you should never do is turn your computer off and then turn it back on without waiting
at least 60 seconds. The system needs at least that long to calm down a bit before you put it back to work.
Here's more! Never remove a disk or a CD from their respective drives until the
drive light has turned
off. It usually takes a few seconds for it to turn off, but if it's still on, don't push that release button!
Here's an interesting one: don't ever use a magnet around your computer, the monitor or around
a diskette (floppy disk). Magnets are bad news! Also, don't ever try to force a disk into its drive. If
it doesn't fit, you may have it upside down or backwards.
Two more: Always make sure you turn your computer off before you
start connecting any new hardware.
It will save you some trouble on down the road. And last, but not least,
you should never have any type of food or drink around your computer. Just eat and drink somewhere else.
By using these guidelines and some basic common sense, your computer will be in perfect shape
for as long as you need it!
v v v v v
When our local doctor began attending church services
the minister
was delighted, and it wasn't long before they were helping each
other in their work, the minister referring people to the doctor,
and vice versa.
One referral from the doctor called at the church office with a note
prescribing the minister's last four sermons. The minister was most
pleased until he discovered that the patient's problem was insomnia.
v v v v v
My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day,
coming home
from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off
at the grocery store to pick up a few things.
While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little boy
standing with his Mother. The boy took one look at my husband in
his uniform, and his eyes grew wide. My husband in turn gave the
young man a crisp salute. The boy was so excited. He pointed at
my husband and announced," Look Mom! A Giant Boy Scout!"
v v v v v
Grooming: Brushing Your Dog's Teeth:Dummies
Dogs don't get cavities the way humans do, but they do get plaque, tartar, and gingivitis —
all of which can cause foul breath and tooth problems. Trips to the doggie dentist can end up being costly,
and your dog will have to be put under anesthesia,
because no dog ever "opens wide" for
any dentist or vet.
Brushing your dog's teeth is important, but how often you do it depends
on your dog and your motivation factor.
Poor doggie dental care, however, can lead to dental infections that can travel to your pooch's heart,
causing major problems and even death. How's that
for motivation to brush your dog's teeth?
Determining the Heritage of Your
Mixed-Breed Dog:Dummies
The best way to figure out the breeds that make up your mixed-breed dog is to
look through an encyclopedia of purebred dogs.
(A mixed-breed dog is one who has been conceived by two different purebred or mixed-breed dogs.
The parentage of many mixed-breed dogs is unknown, because the breeding wasn't planned.
Two unsterilized dogs crossed paths when the female was in heat, and the rest is history.)
v v v v v
The Top 10 Ways Sex Is
Better Than Baseball
10> With sex, you can take batting practice all by yourself.
9> No statistics to remember. Just write down your partner's
name and check it the next morning.
8> When you get to third base in baseball, you're usually
dependent on another guy to help you score.
7> When something goes between your legs in sex, it's rarely
an error.
6> Unlike baseball, with four balls you don't just walk, you swagger.
5> Foul balls? Just wash 'em!
4> No one takes a whack at your balls with a piece of lumber.
Unless, of course, that's your thing.
3> Less chance of getting a concussion if you get hit on the
head by a stray ball.
2> To paraphrase Tom Hanks, "There's no cumming in baseball!"
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Way Sex Is Better Than Baseball...
1> Jessica Alba in a silk teddy vs. Don Zimmer in pinstriped
tights. You tell me, college boy.
v v v v v
Getting
Used to the Taste of Nonfried Foods
To people who are very entrenched in their eating
habits,
conventional dieting can seem like the lesser of two evils when
compared with changing everything about the way they eat; and
their families have been eating (and probably not exercising). More
ThirdAge: Procedures InMotion
This resource is designed to provide a concise introduction to a variety of
screening, diagnostic,
and treatment procedures. All animations in the Procedures InMotion resource are physician-reviewed and
reflect the most up-to-date, evidence-based information. Relevant sources are provided for each
animation.
Prevent High Cholesterol -- ThirdAge
Six ways to prevent high cholesterol
v v v v v
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward
off her barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
"One thing about Wanda," her buddy said to the bartender, "she
knows when to stop."
v v v v v
You might be a fisherman if...
-Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your
bass boat
-You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter"
-Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file
-You name your dog "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude"
-You have a photo of your 10-pound bass on your desk at work
instead of your family
-You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes
tied in a palomar knot
-You think there are four seasons: Pre-spawn,SpawnPost Spawn,and
Hunting
-Your $30000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just
"borrow" the ones off your house
-You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat
will fit in the garage
v v v v v
v v v v v
The Top 9 Signs Your
Doctor Is Behind the Health Curve
9> Pours whiskey on your oozing wound, then takes a swig.
8> "Have you applied the leeches exactly as I told you to?"
7> He feels that a pound of red meat each day will make your
blood good and red.
6> "That would be a dollar fifty, thanks."
5> "Do I have aides? Of course I do! The nurse, the office
manager, the filing clerk..."
4> There's a jar with a sign, "Have a syringe, leave a syringe.
Need a syringe, take a syringe."
3> Recommends *filtered* cigarettes.
2> "HMO? Who you callin' gay, jerk?"
and the Number 1 Sign
Your Doctor
Is Behind the
Health Curve...
1> Regularly neglects to overbill Medicaid.
v v v v v
Go figure. The day my wife finally decides she's
in the mood for sex is the same day I happened to
have masturbated 17 times instead of the usual eight.
(Mark D. Sabien)
Some see the glass as half empty.
I, on the other hand, see the
pubic hair entwined in my toothbrush
bristles and say, "Cool, free floss!"
(Sib Mandrake)
I purchased some penis-enlargement pills over
the Internet, but they must be defective because
they seem to have gone straight to my prostate.
(Kim Moser)
Some guys go months without their wives giving
them so much as a single blowjob. And by
"some guys" I mean "me," and frankly, those
guys are getting pretty damn tired of waiting.
(Bill Ervin)
v v v v v
A few years ago I was at a conference in the Ukraine. I was
invited to a professor's apartment for dinner. The apartment was
drab -something I would expect a poor college student to live in
the United States - and the meal consisted of a tiny appetizer of
cheese and dry salami. The main course was a bowl of potatoes.
The next day I was talking to a colleague who also was invited
to the apartment of a professor. He remarked on how beautiful
the apartment was - lavishly furnished and the meal wonderful -
only the best of meats and wines.
The colleague remarked to his host, "I am surprised at how
beautiful your apartment is. I know you don't make much money as
a professor. May I ask how you do it?"
The host replied, "It is my wife. She has a wonderful job. She is
a prostitute."
v v v v v
v v v v v
submitted by: harlmilligan@msn.com
2008 Tax Code
2008 Tax Code
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is
the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is
hanging around unemployed,
10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off
and 1% of the time it is in the hole.
On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008,
the penis will now be taxed according to size:
The brackets are as follows:
10 - 12" Luxury Tax $300.00
8 - 10" Pole Tax $250.00
5 - 8" Privilege Tax $150.00
3 - 5 " Nuisance Tax $30.00
Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.
Anyone under 4" is eligible for a tax
refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION
v v v v v
About Gardening - Gardening How-To, Garden
Design Tips & Advice, Gardens...
What is a soil-less potting mix?
Starting plants from seed is a lot of fun, but it’s not so much fun
to watch them wither and
die shortly after germination. (Trust me.) One way to gain an advantage on
those pesky pathogens that prey on young seedlings is to use a
sterile potting mix, rather than soil from the garden. You never know what problems come along with soil from the garden.
If you’re going with a potting mix anyway, you might want the further advantages a soilless mix brings.
Here’s my rundown on what’s in the potting mix if
you leave out the soil, and why you’d bother to in the first place.
See web site
v v v v v
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of
the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years
she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally
the old lady died.
On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his
wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I
would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all
those years."
His wife looked at him aghast. "MY Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I
thought she was YOUR Aunt Emma!"
v v v v v
Face it, you're gonna have to go outside
eventually. Sure,
Amazon.com will deliver right to your door and now even Taco
Bell does deliveries, but, mark my words: some day you're
going to HAVE to push away from the computer and go . . .
OUTSIDE. Here's a guide:
* Wear Pants - Countless attempts to better oneself have
been cut tragically short by leaving the house without proper attire.
* Use Your Real Name - Sorry, but nobody will be impressed
if you go by the name "2HOT4U", "Monarch" or
"SATAN666."
Names like "Steve" or "Greg" are just fine.
* The Telephone is Your Friend - Hear that ringing sound?
Pick up the phone. Now speak into it.
* If Your Car Crashes, You Cannot Simply Reboot It.
* Do Not Be Surprised That Nobody Looks Like Gillian Anderson.
* Do Not Flame People - Comparing everyone you disagree
with to unclean primates will not win you friends. In fact, you
may get into a physical fight. If so, the next tip may be of help.
* That Red Stuff is Called Blood - Not to be confused with
ketchup, blood is what keeps you alive. If you are leaking, the
real world offers human tech support in the form of doctors and hospitals
v v v v v
* Loose Drawer Knobs
Before inserting a screw into the knob, coat with
fingernail polish to hold it tightly
* Icy Sidewalk Tip
Sprinkle sand through a strainer on an icy sidewalk to distribute
evenly.
Sprinkle sand through a strainer on an icy sidewalk to distribute
evenly.
* Sticking Drawers
Rub the runners of drawers with a candle or a bar of
soap so they will slide easily
v v v v v
submitted by: BADVETTE87
The Democratic Party has a crisis of monumental proportions!
They don't know whether to vote for the 'nut' with two boobs
or the 'boob' with two nuts!
v v v v v
submitted by: BADVETTE87
T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Midland, TX,
was asked
on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the
allegations of
torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection
from the
studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.
"If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's balls to a car's battery
cables will
save one Texas GI's life, then I have just three things to
say,
"Red is positive"
"Black is negative"
"Make sure his balls are wet."
v v v v v
Sumsing Turbo
3000 Cellphone
Forget every cell phone on the market --- get THIS one!!!!!
submitted by: sammy562@msn.com
YouTube - JEFF DUNHAM Peanut-José
Jalapeño on a Stick
LOL!!
2. This Baby is
Hilarious
You can't watch this without giggling!
v v v v v
So Roger Clemens' former
trainer alleges the star
pitcher developed an abscess on his ass around the
time said he was giving Clemens steroid injections.
Did we REALLY
need to know that?
The Top 15 Things We Really
Don't Want to Know
(Part I)
15> What our mother and her fiance are doing tonight
14> Why we can't have any pudding before we eat our meat
13> Why the Senate require that pages be 16 years old
12> What aliens actually learn from all those anal probes
11> If it's really our baby
10> How many licks it takes to get to the center of Hillary Clinton
9> How many nanoseconds it takes Bill Gates to earn our
annual salary
8> Andy Dick's sexual orientation
7> That our employers monitor our e-mail and are reading this
sentence right now, too
6> What Dick Cheney *would* consider torture
5> What Donald Trump looks like with his ankles behind his head
4> That it's actually our ass that makes the *pants* look fat
3> Exactly which aperture Taco Bell is referring to with its
new "Fire in the Hole" burrito
2> Whether Grandma is a moaner or a screamer
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing We Really Don't Want to Know...
1> What the final scene of "The Full Monty" would be like with
a cast of Drew Carey, Wilford Brimley, Robin Williams,
Ed Asner and Ernest Borgnine
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A wealthy contractor liked to know something about all the
employees
who worked for him.
One day he came upon a young man who was expertly counting out a large
wad of the firm's cash.
The contractor asked the man, "Where did you get your financial
training, young man?"
"Yale," the man answered.
"That's good," said the contractor, who was an advocate of higher
learning.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Yackson," came the reply.
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Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux and
Thibodeaux went out in the
Gulf of Mexico fishing.
They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco
Bell had been built while they were away.
Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says "Look at dat, we not gone no
time and dem Mexicans done come over here and built a telephone
company!"
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Click here : Blogger Mom Heather Armstrong & Dooce - Mommy Tells All
Suppose you could get paid a great deal of money to write about your life, your home, your family,
your young child, your relatives, your friends, even your dog, in a personal and revealing way?
Suppose readers flocked to you because you were so real, so snarky, so funny and uncensored in telling it like it is?
That's what mom blogger Heather Armstrong does, and with an estimated 4 million page views a month,
those in the know believe she pulls in up to $40,000 each month from advertisers
willing to pay to be on her site Dooce.com.
Click here : Jennifer Baumgardner's "I Was Raped" T-Shirt Breaks Secrecy of Sexual Assault
Jennifer Baumgardner is dedicating herself to a deeply-felt cause –
helping women shed the shame and humiliation they feel as victims of rape.
She's been working on a multimedia rape awareness project,
interviewing women for a film about sexual assault. Baumgardner can't interview every
women in America. Yet she wants to help women voice their truths
and dispel the secrecy that surrounds sexual assault.
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What's the favorite TV show in Arkansas?
Touched By An Uncle
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A man was brought up on charges of bigamy.
The judged looked at the docket and said, "Good God, man! You're
charged with marrying six women. How could you do such a thing?"
"Hey, judge, gimme a break," the man replied. "I was only trying
to find a good one."
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Enuf wood?
Here!
Shut the bitch up with chocolate
Here!
...give my best to the pony!
Here!
Ooaahhh!
Here!
Looks like a full moon to me!
Here!
Shudder To Think
Here
Convict Problems?
Here
Communication
Here
Another Damn Commercial
Here
Milk Shake
Here
X T R E M E L Y Naughty
Yummy
Office Flash
Poke Me
Fishy
Very Busy
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Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty,
expressed or implied, with regard
to featured products or services.
Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control
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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the
making! So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep on rockin'
it's a state of
mind
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©1999 - 2008 - Deborah Austin - All
rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'
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