Editor:
DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Guysbabi, Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor: Amanda260
Internet Security Editor: DebsSweet
FRUSTRATED
The entire first page - header and all - disappeared from my files. Gone!
Pfffft! This will
be a shorter version of the newsletter because of that. I don't have time
to
find replacement information. Such is life online sometimes!
: (
Be careful when surfing the Internet. I have checked EACH link submitted
to you and they are in working
order as of this posting. Always be aware of the risks out there and keep
current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my
heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
to me, deb@debsnewsletter.com and your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to
ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild
ride!
"GLAD you're back. Life is good again!"
ron_stott@yahoo.com
"WELCOME HOME DEB....!!!
Hope ya had a great time on your vacation.....
*hugs...Deb*
hugs from me"
pictureslost@yahoo.com
"Hey Girl !!!!!!!
WELCOME BACK.......as always I missed you and Rockin and Rollin !!!!!!...Been
checking
for my favorite site and read it hours ago.....lol......Hope you and the family
had a very well
deserved vacation.......again Welcome Home.....hugs and love ...Patty"
dallas229@cox.net
"Hi Deb im so glad your back and happy you had a
great time i just love your pages you do keep up
the great work hope to here from you soon
ty
huggggs always JD"
jacksonwiththeaction@yahoo.com
"Welcome back... You really were missed. I enjoyed this weeks issue"
Iandriano
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*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through
the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked
at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out."
What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear!
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Click here: Water for Your
Horse - The Importance of Water for Horse Health
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5DBG
A constant supply of clean fresh water for your horse is an essential
element in good horse care. Your horse
should always have water available in its stable and pasture. While traveling
dehydration is a concern and
on long trailer rides and during events or long trail rides horses must be offered
water frequently.
Click here: Is bottled drinking
water unsafe for cats - Health FAQ
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5DBJ
If you have cats - this might be helpful
Click here: Why does my
orange tabby have black spots on his lips?
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5DBL
A common question (and worry) of cat owners relates to black spots that just
seem to "appear" on the lips,
nose and eye margins, especially on orange colored cats. What is this,
and are these spots
something to worry about? Find out in this FAQ.
How to Spot Heatstroke
A day spent romping at the beach or playing softball in the park is fun for
the whole family. But keep an eye on
your pet -- she's the one wearing the fur coat. Overheating can lead
to heatstroke, a condition that occurs when a
dog is unable to maintain a normal body temperature by panting. Watch for signs
of heatstroke, such
as heavy panting; excessive salivating; staggered walking; muscle tremors;
seizures; glazed eyes; noticeably
darker tongue and gums; vomiting; or bloody diarrhea. Contact your vet; a visit
may be necessary
to check your pet for dehydration and other complications.
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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was
severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
any
skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered some
of
her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable
would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they
would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that
the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate
matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the
man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends
and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day,
he
was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
How
can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," she replied, " I get all the thanks I need every time
I see your mother kiss you on the cheek
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*submitted by*
CHIN3917
"Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for
president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she
finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed."
Jay Leno
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realsimple.com
11
New Uses for Salt
Think twice before you toss that spilled salt over your shoulder — the flavor
enhancer is incredibly
useful. “Salt has an affinity to water and can draw moisture out of many
foods,” says Wolke. “Grains of
table salt are also very hard, which is why they act as a handy abrasive.”
Use Salt to:
1. Make eggs or cream whip up faster and higher. Add a pinch of salt
before beating.
2. De-ice sidewalks. In a pinch, it can be used as a substitute for rock
salt.
3. Keep chicken or turkey moist. Rub salt in the cavity of the bird before
cooking.
4. Prevent sautés made with eggplant or zucchini from getting watery.
Sprinkle salt on these vegetables before cooking.
5. Eliminate sticky residue from an iron. Run the hot iron (no steam)
over plain paper sprinkled with salt.
6. Clean drains. Pour a hot, strong solution (1/2 cup salt for every
quart of water) down the drain.
7. Remove dirt from leafy vegetables, such as spinach. Wash the vegetables
in a bath of salt water.
8. Prevent frost from accumulating inside car windows. Rub the glass
with
a solution of 2 teaspoons of salt in 1 gallon of hot water. Wipe dry.
9. Remove sangria and red-wine stains from your washables. Stretch the
fabric
over a bowl, cover the stain with salt, and carefully pour boiling water over
it.
10. Keep shells from cracking when boiling eggs. Add a few pinches of
salt to the water.+ one more
11. Chill a bottle of bubbly — fast. Place ice around its base in an
ice bucket; sprinkle with a few tablespoons of salt.
Layer salt and ice until they reach the neck. Fill with water. Wait 10 minutes;
serve.
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The
Top 17 Signs of Progress in Iraq
17> Completion of Grand Sultan Cheney's retirement palace is way ahead of
schedule.
16> Baghdad International Airport is now running two non-stop flights a day
to Guantanamo Bay.
15> Internet cafes recently upgraded to 9600 baud modems.
14> Al-Qaeda recruitment continues to rise, giving us the
advantage of more targets and an easier-to-locate enemy.
13> All those car bombs make the lines at the Baghdad DMV much shorter.
12> Animal control in Baghdad is no longer an issue following
the arrival of Corporal Michael Vick.
11> Eighty-four percent of American schoolchildren now know the
difference between Iraq, the country we invaded and occupy
and Iran, the country we intend to invade and occupy.
10> Old most popular name: Abdul.
New most popular name: Condoleezza.
9> Tikrit Starbucks head barista Chemical Ali makes one mean Kona-Blend
Frappucino!
8> Former site of the torn-down statue of Saddam now sports
a cheery Bob's Big Boy statue.
7> Cutting out the middleman, the military is now taking down
insurgents with weapons that fire actual tax dollars.
6> Clitoral circumcision now limited to camels.
5> Forty-two percent of Iraqis now have Internet access and are
calling for the stoning of Paris Hilton.
4> Insurgents no longer using threats and violence to rig
elections now that they can do it electronically with
state-of-the-art Diebold voting machines.
3> New diamond lanes let you whiz by suicide bombers stuck in rush-hour
traffic.
2> The Iraqi Parliament finally ratified a U.S-style constitution
with three branches of government: Legislative, Judicial
and Halliburton.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign of Progress in Iraq...
1> Admit it: A resurgent Baath Party sounds like a sudsy, kinky good
time!
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The
Top 10 Little-Known Birth Control Devices
10> Shooting a Winning America's Funniest Home Video (AKA getting hit in
the groin)
9> South Park Chewables
8> www.collegetuitionsurvey.com?year=2026
7> Your existing children screeching for Fruity Pebbles just outside
the bedroom door
6> The K-Tel Bobbitizer
5> Cervical Beanie: like the cervical cap, but with effectiveness
enhanced by a small propeller that blows the sperm back
where it came from
4> The Imperceptibly-Slowly-Constricting Penis Ring
3> Stick-on herpes sores
2> Hermione Granger's "Erecto Reductio!" curse
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Little-Known Birth Control Device...
1> Elmer's Urethra Glue
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Click
here: Clean Home Journal™ - Gardening
http://www.cleanhomejournal.com/gardening/49-index.asp
Imagine waking up every morning to a fresh whiff of chocolate in your
garden! Believe it or not, there
are plants that actually smell just like chocolate. And because their
scent becomes heat activated at different
times, you can enjoy a fresh chocolate scent morning to late afternoon—if you
plant accordingly. To enhance
the experience, add some plants with leaves that look as velvety as chocolate,
plus others with scents that
complement the aroma of chocolate. Most should not be eaten; only two listed
below can be used in cooking.
Read on to discover more. Then take a stroll
through our click-through garden of chocolate-themed flowers.
Click
here: Clean Home Journal™ - Gardening
http://www.cleanhomejournal.com/gardening/31-index.asp Whether you lean toward
perennials or
summer-blooming bulbs, now's the time to ensure your garden stays color-bright
all summer long. Va-va-vavoom colors
are in this year, so be a little daring in how you juxtapose shades. Just don't
forget to mix and match brights with
lush tropical foliage to fill in any sparse patches. The superstars featured
below can be started "from scratch"
(roots or bulbs) or purchased "store bought" (pre-grown as nursery container
plants).
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John was standing in the lingerie store staring at a
collection of Wonder Bras.
The clerk noticed he had been there for some time, so she walked
over and asked him if she could be of assistance.
John answered, "Well... if it's a Wonder Bra, am I supposed
to pick the size she is, or the size I want her to be?"
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Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the
evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted
to her. After some really passionate embracing, he said,
"Tell me, do you object to making love?"
"That is something I have never done before," Jill replied.
"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Jack was amazed.
"No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!"
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TV icon Merv Griffin died last week at 82. Griffin, who gained fame as the host
of a long-running daytime talk show
(ask your parents and grandparents), then
reinvented himself as
creator of "Jeopardy!" and "Wheel of Fortune," and
wrapped up his
final act as a real-estate tycoon, famously joked that
his tombstone would read, "I will
not be back after these messages." We at Top5TV
wondered what options he passed
over. (Get it? *Passed* *over*?)
The Top 7 Rejected Merv Griffin Epitaphs
7> R_ST _N P__C_
6> Paging Dinah Shore
5> I'll take "Pushin' Up Daisies" for Eternity, Alex
4> Mike Douglas Blows
3> I'd like to solve the puzzle, St. Peter
2> Embalmed before a live studio audience
and the Number 1 Rejected Merv Griffin Epitaph...
1> Eat My Depends, Cavett
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Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil
before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I
washed my hair several times.
That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and
asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?"
"No," he said, sniffing me. "Do I smell like Popeye?"
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Click
here: Dummies::Cleaning Windows XP: Taming Web Cache Files
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-2636.html?cid=etipArticleLink
Web browsers maintain what is called a cache, an area of
your hard drive where the browser stashes recently
stored Web pages and, more likely, recently stored images downloaded while you
travel through the Internet.
If you have a slow Internet connection, the cache is a necessity because it
prevents the need for
downloading graphics every time you visit a Web page. Visit once and
the graphics are downloaded to
the cache. Visit the site again and the graphics are loaded from the
cache, eliminating the need to
download them over the slower Internet connection. (The cache is less
useful if you're
using a high-speed connection, simply because downloading graphics takes
less time.)
The problem is that if you visit 30 Web pages, each with an average of
10 graphics, you end up with 300 graphic
images in your cache. Multiply that times a month of browsing every day,
and all of a
sudden you have 9,000 graphics in your cache.
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I saw my ex this morning, running after the garbage truck, yelling,
"Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"
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On a recent Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where
you want) passengers
were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant
announced,
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in
it!"
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Click
here: Beliefnet: Health and Healing
http://www.beliefnet.com/healthandhealing/getcontent.aspx?cid=14646&WT.mc_id=NL44
Jane and Elizabeth are adhering to strict, low-calorie diets even though
they're both dangerously
underweight. Angela and Hank secretly eat huge amounts of food at one
sitting and then make
themselves vomit and spend hours exercising. Evelyn and Fred eat huge
amounts of food and occasionally
try dieting, but mostly just feel guilty and depressed. What do these
six individuals have in
common? They all have some type of eating disorder.
Click
here: Beliefnet: Health and Healing
http://www.beliefnet.com/healthandhealing/getcontent.aspx?cid=33725&WT.mc_id=NL44
General overview -- in depth info and living with eating disorders
Click
here: Top 10 Colon Cancer Prevention Tips - Basics of Colon Cancer Prevention
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1Ck/R0&sdn=weightloss&cdn=health&tm=4&gps=81_146_1178_833&f=0
0&su=p284.5.420.ip_p674.0.400.ip_&tt=13&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//coloncancer.about.
com/od/cancerprevention/a/Colon_Cancer.htm
Colon cancer is one of the most common, and yet preventable, cancers.
To help protect yourself and your
loved ones from the disease, follow these ten colon cancer prevention tips.
Click here: XDR TB is Extensively
Drug Resistant Tuberculosis
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5Bsy
Sounds like the latest offer from Microsoft, but XDR TB stands for extensively
drug resistant tuberculosis.
Tuberculosis, unfortunately, is not a disease of the past. XDR TB is currently
threatening people in
South Africa and is also present in Russia and China where access to
healthcare services is poor. The international
humanitarian organization, Doctors Without Borders, known by its acronym in
French, MSF, calls XDR TB one
of the "Top
10 Undereported Humanitarian Stories of 2006. Learn more about tuberculosis
and multi-drug
resistant tuberculosis from About.com guide to lung diseases Stacey Lloyd.
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My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One
weekend he cried and fretted
and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the
way home from church, the crying
and whining built to a crescendo. At the end of my rope, I finally stopped
the car and explained, "Honey,
it's a law. If you don't go to school, they'll put Mommy in jail.
He looked at me, thought a moment, then asked,
"How long would you have to stay?"
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While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing students from Southern
California. After chatting
them up awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the service. When
we told them we were in the
infantry, the girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they told
us how sweet that was.
Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same sentence, I was a little
confused.
Until, that is, one of the girls said,
"We admire any man who works with infants."
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Two
friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek.
"Hey, bud, how are ya?"
"I'm good. Hey, congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"
"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!
"No way, how could that be?"
"Way! She's the latest Office Robot from Japan. Lemme tell you
how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation.
If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not
all, she can have sex, too!"
"Holy shit! You're kidding, right?"
"No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her"
So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with
her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming...
"Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"
The guy says, "Shit! Perhaps I should have told him that her ass
is a pencil sharpener!"
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*submitted by*
pavanco1@earthlink.net
Click
here: CrazyStupidFunny.com - The Web’s Craziest, Funniest &
Stupidiest Videos… » Blog Archive » Stupid People Do Funny T
http://www.crazystupidfunny.com/other-videos/stupid-people-do-funny-things
2. Click
here: CrazyStupidFunny.com - The Web’s Craziest, Funniest &
Stupidiest Videos… » Blog Archive » This Baby Can Laugh, It’
http://www.crazystupidfunny.com/funny/this-baby-can-laugh-its-so-funny
I guarantee you'll laugh while watching this!
*submitted by*
GRANDPASAM56
Click here:
Bill The Chief Funny Videos
http://www.billthechief.com/videopages/v98.html
Bloopers -- silly people doing crazy things!
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One night little Johnny was lying asleep in his bed and was awakened by a
noise. He laid there for a second and realized it was coming from his
parents' room. He jumped up and ran to their room only to find them awake,
having sex. He just stared wide eyed at them for a while, not knowing what
they were doing.
He walked a little closer to the bed and said, "Daddy?", voice quivering,
afraid and unaware of what they were doing. "What are you and Mommy doing?"
The Dad jumped a little, startled, rolled over to see his son. "Well,
Johnny, I'm...um... You know how you were wanting a baby brother?"
"Yes..." replied little Johnny in a timid voice.
"Well, I'm a putting little brother in your Mommy for you."
Johnny smiled and said, "Oh, ok!" and left the room feeling safe and secure.
The Dad felt good about himself for his witty and quick-on-the-spot answer
and rolled over to fall asleep in his wife's arms.
The next day after work, Daddy came home to find Johnny sitting on the grass
crying.
"What's wrong???" Daddy asked as he picked his son up filled with concern.
"Daddy! you... you know.. *sniff* my little brother that you put in Mommy???"
"Yes..." the Dad replied nervously.
"Well... well... Today... *sniff*... the mailman came over and he ate him!"
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Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the
initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth
because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the
Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.
The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your
Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers
are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds
a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to
talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel
where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced
by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph
is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:
"Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And,
following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda...
"The Apostles were in one Accord."
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San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds
recently broke Hank Aaron's career home run
record, inspiring a yawn felt coast-to-coast.
The Top 15 Signs the Fans Hate You
15> They line the Tour de France route waiting for you with
styrofoam cups brimming with fresh urine.
14> Michael Vick calls with tips on how to improve your image.
13> Your last game was the first in team history to be called
on account of beer showers.
12> The sign outside the park: "Welcome to Philadelphia."
11> Morganna the Kissing Bandit dashes onto the field, drops trou,
bends over, and tells you to kiss her aging ass.
10> It's technically a "standing O" -- if you consider bending
over "standing" and that thing an "O."
9> You've never seen the wave done before using only middle fingers.
8> Everybody in the stadium is wearing your jersey -- with
"Dickhead" on the back where your name used to be.
7> Those "rain delays" every time you're at bat are actually
4000 people peeing on you.
6> Security moves referee Tim Donaghy ahead of you in the line at Arby's.
5> Those aren't flashbulbs -- that's muzzle fire.
4> Top seller at the souvenir stand: your likeness on a urinal cake.
3> Your new exhibit at Cooperstown lets the visitors use the
bat you donated to take swings at a pinata that bears your likeness.
2> Barry Bonds Bobblehead Voodoo Doll Night is a rousing success.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign the Fans Hate You...
1> That's not an egg the chicken mascot just laid in your
batting helmet.
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Click here: Vick Indicted
in Dog-Fighting Scandal
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/anr
Despite reports indicating an indictment was not forthcoming, Atlanta
Falcons quarterback
Michael
Vick, whose Surry County (Va.) property has been the focus of a dog-fighting
investigation, was in fact charged Tuesday on multiple counts by a federal grand
jury. And, although
Vick is presumed innocent in the eyes of the law at this point, it looks as
if this is going to
get a lot uglier for the superstar QB before it gets better. Along with
three others, Vick was
charged with conspiracy to travel in interstate commerce in aid of unlawful
activities and
to sponsor a dog in an animal fighting venture. If convicted on both counts,
each
defendant faces up to six years in prison
*submitted by*
STLLRNING7
Click
here: Microsoft Surface Video - Touchscreen, Multi Touch Coffee
Table - Behind the Scenes - Popular Mechanics
http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/industry/4217348.html
I might have put this link in a previous issue, but it's so amazing, let's look
again!
*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net
Click here: http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf
http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf
Supercool clock
2. Click here: YouTube
- Bill Malone - Sam the Bellhop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C96Hc1m7pRU
A most amazing card trick! A must see
*submitted by*
SHAYNABUTTONS
Click here: auctionPAL
http://www.auctionpal.com/
Did you know that Consignment shops charge over 50% in commisions
An average first time eBay users will spend 6-10 hours total selling there first
item and
between eBay & PayPal they take between 6% & 15% of the profit.
We have no hidden charges at auctionPAL. Our motto is simple: we do most
of the work and you get most of the cash
Click here: MapMyRide.com - Map your
Cycling and Mountain Biking
Routes. Topo Maps, Elevation Profiles, GPS Support.
http://www.mapmyride.com/
Maybe you’re planning some summer hiking excursions. Or maybe
you want to take up cycling to get in shape.
Where do you begin undertakings like those? With a good map, of course!
You’ll want to plot your course, paying attention to the distance. Then, you
should
add places where you can stop for water or use the restroom.
MapMyRide has you covered. The site uses Google Maps to plot your hiking, biking
or swimming outing. Create your own, or look for a publicly posted route.
MapMyRide has too many features to list. But I would like to draw your attention
to one
I’m sure you’ll love. The site works with GPS units, so you can import or export
routes!
*submitted by*
oldwild@yahoo.com
Click here: http://www.peakoilclock.com/images/poc2.swf
http://www.peakoilclock.com/images/poc2.swf
The wealth daily peak oil clock --- Countdown to the END OF OIL
Click here: 6 milliards
d'Autres, 6 billion Others, 6 miliardi di
Altri – A Yann Arthus-Bertrand project
http://www.6billionothers.org/index_en.php
If you asked people across the world about their experiences, you’d get a lot
of different
answers.But in addition to the differences between the replies, you’d find similarities.
You’d
find universal values and common lessons learned.Don’t believe me? Then visit
6 billion
others. You can hear people from 65 different countries share their experiences
via
video interviews. They’re fascinating!Now, there are not six billion interviews
on the site. That refers
to the population of the Earth. But the project did conduct a whopping 6,000
interviews.
Many are available online now. More will be available later.The site requires
a lot of
bandwidth. So you may encounter some stuttering in the videos. If that’s the
case, just
click pause and let more of the video load. You will be rewarded
for your patience. kkomando.com
Click here: Current
Night Sky
http://www.cfa.harvard.edu/press/skyreport/
Earth is at aphelion - its farthest distance from the Sun . At first sight this
can seem counter-intuitive
to people in the toasty Northern Hemisphere, but seasons are caused by the Earth's
inclination or tilt,
not by its distance from the Sun.
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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com (http://classmates.com/)
There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't
particularly like them!?
Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these
days--mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're
a
seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in
a bowl of Wendy's chili.
Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain?? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde
teachers
are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky
bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're
a dope. If you're
a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown
man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care
about your
eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle
of this crap
at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored
water is
called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over
ice
and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned
pill bottle that's
square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the
time grandpa
figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations,
Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole.
If you walk into
a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla,
double-shot, gingerbread
cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet",
ooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card,
entering my PIN number,
pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back,
and pressing
"Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing
there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't
make you spiritual.
It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with
broccoli." The last time
you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant.
You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins.
ESPN recently
televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those
athletes at the poker
table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting???
Oh wait!?
They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for
M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television
shows, then
you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing
on the other
screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in
the first place
is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just
for weddings.
Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking
out the stuff you
want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the
white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants!
After I zip up, some
guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael.
I can't even tell if
he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want
to be on your
web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months.
"27
Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese.
And I didn't
really care in the first place.
v
v v v v
*submitted by*
CHIN3917
"Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running
for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't
like the idea, while others hate it."
Conan O'Brien
v
v v v v
Easter
Bunny
1/2 oz Vodka
1 tsp Cherry Brandy
1 tsp Chocolate Syrup
1 1/2 oz Dark Creme de Cacao
Shake creme de cacao and vodka with ice.
Strain over ice in an old-fashioned glass.
Float chocolate syrup and cherry brandy.
Monte's
Sex Potion
1 oz Lemon Juice
2 oz Coconut Rum
2 oz Raspberry Liqueur
Pour the Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay coconut rum,
Chambord raspberry liqueur and lemon juice into a cocktail
shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well, strain
into a highball glass almost filled with ice cubes, and serve.
v
v v v v
My 12-year old daughter asked me, "Dad, do you have a baby picture of yourself?
I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to ask what
the project
was. A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when
I noticed
my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their
project was "The oldest thing in my house."
v
v v v v
Jill goes to the doctor. After examining her thoroughly, the doctor is
perplexed.
"I'm not sure what it is," he said. "You either have a bad
cold or you're pregnant."
"Oh," says Jill, "I must be pregnant -- I don't know anyone
who could have given me a cold."
v
v v v v
CHOCOLATE TURTLE CHEESECAKE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups vanilla wafer crumbs
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
14 ounces individually wrapped caramels
1 (5 ounce) can evaporated milk
1 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
DIRECTIONS:
Melt the butter or margarine, and combine with the cookie crumbs. Press into
the bottom of a 9 inch springform pan.
Melt the caramels with the evaporated milk in a 1 1/2 quart heavy saucepan over
low heat. Heat and stir frequently until
smooth. Pour caramel sauce into crust, and top with pecans. In a large bowl,
combine cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla;
beat well until smooth. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition.
Melt the chocolate, and blend into cream
cheese mixture. Pour chocolate batter over pecans. Bake at 350 degrees for 40
minutes. Loosen cake from the edges of
pan, but do not remove rim until cooled. Chill completely.
v
v v v v
Overweight is something that just sort of
snacks up on you.
v
v v v v
by deb
The
Good Guy
by Dean Koontz
"Timothy Carrier, having a beer after work at his friend’s tavern, enjoys drawing
eccentric customers into
amusing conversations. But the jittery man who sits next to him tonight has
mistaken Tim for
someone very different—and passes to him a manila envelope full of cash.
“Ten thousand now. You get the rest when she’s gone.”
The stranger walks out, leaving a photo of the pretty woman marked for death,
and her address. But
things are about to get worse. In minutes another stranger sits next
to Tim. This one is a cold-blooded
killer who believes Tim is the man who has hired him"
I loved this book! The plot was new to me, easy to read and I couldn't
wait to see what was
going to happen next! This was great!
v
v v v v
In 1951, Fred Morrison began marketing a plastic flying
disc he called the "Pluto Platter." Six years later, he
sold the design to Wham-O, who renamed it the "Frisbee"
-- and it became one of the most popular toys ever.
Hmmm... what *other* products could benefit from renaming?
The Top 20 Proposed Product Renamings
20> Starbucks -- Costsbucks
19> Double Cheese 'n' Bacon Whopper -- BK Angioplasty
18> Lawn Darts -- Kid Kabobs
17> Hungryman Dinner -- Buffet in a Box
16> Ford Excursion -- Ford Excessive
15> SuperMaxx Condoms -- Wishful Thinking, Little Man!
14> YouTube -- YouScrewedUpAndNowTheWholeWorldCanSeeItOnTheirTube
13> Cell Phone -- Cinemus Interruptus
12> Boca Burgers -- I Can't Believe It's Not Ground-Up Bull Groin!
11> Windows Vista -- Microsoft Do_It-Yourself Doorstop Kit
10> Big Mouth Billy Bass -- Redneck Detector 3000
9> Silly Putty -- I Cannot Believe It Is Not Detonator Placement
Medium Made Easily Available by Foolish Americans!
8> Febreeze -- Stank-B-Gone
7> Lamborghini Murcielago -- P-Magnet Twatcatcher
6> GI Joe -- Gee, I Prevent Your Little Guy From Growing Up to Be
a Metrosexual -- or WORSE!
5> Red Bull -- Ritalinade
4> Toyota Prius -- Toyota Smug Little Tree-Hugging Prick
3> Doritos -- BongSnax
2> Dunkin Donuts -- Morning Glory Holes
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Proposed Product Renaming...
1> Flowbee -- Christ, My Hair Looks Like Shit!
v
v v v v
A man rushed into a jewelry store, told the clerk he needed a pair of diamond
earrings for his wedding anniversary, and quickly made his selection. When asked
if he wanted them wrapped, he replied, "That would be great, but hurry.
My wife thinks I'm taking out the garbage!"
v
v v v v
Set Up Periodic Antivirus Scans
Having your antivirus program scan the entire computer for
viruses is a necessity. Even though most antivirus programs have
an auto-protect feature that should -- theoretically -- prevent
the insertion of a virus onto your computer, it's still a
good idea to scan your computer periodically in the event
something was missed somehow by the automatic protection.
When scheduling periodic scans, choose a day and time when you
know your computer will be running. It's no good to
schedule a scan for Friday night at 10:00 p.m. if your computer
is turned off. If your computer is in standby or hibernation mode
(common battery-saving modes on laptops), your antivirus program
will not wake it up to scan. It's got to be fully awake and
running at the appointed time. On the plus side, your monitor
needn't be on.
One other factor to take into account for your weekly scan: Run
it when your computer is running but when you're not using
it. If you have one of those high-speed Internet connections
(such as cable or DSL), then perhaps you keep your computer on
all the time anyway. If so, then you can just schedule your scan
to take place, say, on Fridays at 1:00 a.m. (or whenever
you're routinely not using the computer).
Prevent cyber attacks with the help of Computer Viruses For
Dummies [ http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764574183.html?cid=eTipBookLink
],
by Peter Gregory, CISA, CISSP.
Click
here: Will Your Next Airline Ticket Purchase Give Your
Credit Card Info To Phishers? ~ Windows Fanatics
http://www.lockergnome.com/nexus/windows/2005/04/08/will-your-next
-airline-ticket-purchase-give-your-credit-card-info-to-phishers/
A new, and oh-so-simple and deviously obvious scam has hit the Internet.
According
to a report in iAfrica, phishers are now purchasing ads on search engines such
as Google,
offering cheap airline tickets, and then sitting back and waiting for unsuspecting
bargain shoppers to come to them
Click
here: PC World - In Pictures: Warning Signs of an Internet Attack
http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,133567/article.html?tk=nl_spxsld
Internet attacks have become a business. And as with any business, the product
must be ever-changing in attempting to entice you. But where a slick legit ad
campaign might
sway you into buying a gadget you don't really need, these social engineering
techniques
try to trick you into infecting your computer with malware you surely don't
want. Look
through these images of some of the latest tricks from malware pushers and phishers
so
that you can keep your most important security tool--you--up-to-date. And if
you receive
any of these messages, be sure not to click any links in them or follow their
instructions.
v
v v v v
Many of us at Rittenhouse Folk Festival were baby boomers reliving our youth.
In one
tent there were a few free telephones for public use, and as the day wore on,
the lines to
use them grew longer. As I waited, the hostess, sensing our growing impatience,
and a little
frazzled herself in the heat, called out sternly, "Remember now, don't be on
the phone too
long!" Instantly a middle-aged flower child said into the receiver,
"Oh, I have to go now, bye," and hung up.
As she turned to leave, the hostess smiled at her contritely. "I'm sorry,
I didn't mean you couldn't finish your conversation."
"I know," said the lady, laughing.
"But just for a minute, I thought you were my mother."
v
v v v v
*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose.
A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash
your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the
other.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, sir!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank
you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......
Are - my - test - results - back?'
v
v v v v
Click here: Apple Macintosh
OS X Safari - Emptying the Cache in Safari
http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3URe
When using the Safari browser to visit web sites, Safari saves the content
of web pages in the cache
for quick access. It is a good idea to empty the cache periodically to
free up space and to
ensure that the latest version of the web page is displayed.
v
v v v v
The Top 9 Parental Responses to the
Kids'
Summertime Whine:
"I'm Bored."
9> "Go tell Mom; I'm napping here!"
8> "Here's a microbiology textbook; go make something of yourself."
7> "Maybe you should have thought of that before passing all your
classes. At least your sister has summer school to keep her occupied."
6> "Here's $10. Go stand in line for the next Star Wars film."
5> "Go learn something by watching those old 8MM movies in the
bottom of Dad's sock drawer."
4> "It's a good learning experience: This is exactly what your
go-nowhere job will someday feel like."
3> "Great. Let's look into year-round boarding school for you."
2> "But sewing is fun! Just hurry it up. We have to finish
22 more blouses, or we don't get paid for today."
and
the Number 1 Parental
Response to the Kids'
Summertime
Whine: "I'm Bored."...
1> "Okay, Jimmy. This is called a form 1040, and here's how we fill it out..."
v
v v v v
"Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign??
Know what sign? 'For Sale.'"
Jay Leno
v
v v v v
Click
here: Recipe4Living - Spago's Lobster Cobb Salad
http://www.recipe4living.com/content/view/12205/172/
Recipe4Living
- Applebee's Oriental Chicken Salad
http://www.recipe4living.com/content/view/2322/172/
Recipe4Living
- The Ultimate Pasta Salad
http://www.recipe4living.com/content/view/3834/172/
v
v v v v
The venerable Stevie Wonder has released
a
new album and is touring this
summer for
the first time in years. What's the
word on
the street about what people are hearing
at
the shows? Aside from music,
that is...
The Top 7 Things Overheard on Stevie Wonder's Tour
7> "...and no, I will never again duet with Paul "venti latte" McCartney."
6> "Yeah, he's a better musician than me. But I'm a better driver."
5> "I can't wait for the opening of his theme park, Steveland."
4> "Is that his wife? You know, Wonder Woman?"
3> "So I heard 'Ebony and Ivory' was supposed to be a duet with
Michael Jackson until Stevie found out Michael used to be black."
2> "An ARTIST?!? How can you call him an artist when the dude don't rap?"
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard on Stevie Wonder's Tour...
1> "No, I couldn't get tickets for The Police, either."
v
v v v v
SWEET & TART STRAWBERRY SPINACH SALAD
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
1 tablespoon poppy seeds
1-1/2 teaspoons minced onion
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1 bag (10 ounces) fresh spinach
2 cups fresh strawberries, sliced thin
1/2 cup shopped pecans
1/2 cup crumbled gorgonzola cheese
DIRECTIONS:
In a blender, combine the sugar, sesame seeds, poppy seeds,
onion, Worcestershire sauce, paprika, oil, and vinegar.
Blend well. If the dressing seems thick, add a few drops
of water. Remove the stems from the spinach and tear the
leaves into bite-size pieces. Add to a large salad bowl
along with strawberries, cheese and nuts and toss enough
dressing to coat all. Do not add dressing until just before
serving. (Can also be individually plated)
Yield: 4-6 Servings
v
v v v v
Click here: Love Me With
All Your Heart
http://www.marycy.org/allyrheart.html
Click
here: How You Can Date Safely ~ usrbingeek’s musings
http://www.lockergnome.com/nexus/usrbingeek/2007/06/09/how-you-can-date-safety/
Dating? Be safe - and here are suggestions how
v
v v v v
NOTE FROM BARB:
I was just skimming MSNBC's homepage looking
for the latest news on Britney and Lindsay when
I came across an "article" I found interesting:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20183344/
And I thought, we can come up with more
reasons than that:
The Top 6 Reasons Married Men Are Safer As Friends
6> They lost interest in their own sorry lives ages ago.
5> Married men have forgotten what sex is like, so they don't
even think to look down your shirt.
4> The last thing they want is *another* drain on their bank accounts.
3> Many of them have their penises maintained offsite in safe
deposit boxes requiring two keys and a second signatory.
2> They've had lots of practice in learning how to fake listening convincingly.
and the Number 1 Reason Married Men Are Safer As Friends...
1> The "Desperate Housewives" fantasy ends when their wife tells
you that their antenna doesn't go all the way up.
v
v v v v
CRAB STUFFED CHICKEN BREASTS
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
6 ea Chicken breasts
1/2 c Onion, chopped
1/2 c Celery, chopped
3 tb Butter
3 tb White wine, dry
7 1/2 oz Crabmeat, flaked
1/2 c Herb stuffing mix
2 tb All-purpose flour
1/2 ts Paprika
1 pk Hollandaise sauce mix
3/4 c Milk
2 tb White wine, dry
1/2 c Swiss cheese, shredded
1 x Salt
1 x Pepper
DIRECTIONS:
Skin & bone chicken breasts; pound to flatten. Sprinkle with
a little salt and pepper. Cook onion and celery in 3T butter
until tender. Remove from heat; add 3T wine, the crab and
stuffing mix, and toss. Divide mixture among breasts. Roll
up and secure. Combine flour, paprika. Coat chicken. Place
in 11" X 7" X 2" baking dish , drizzle with 2T melted butter.
Bake uncovered in 375 degree oven for 1 hour. Transfer to
platter. Blend hollandaise sauce mix, milk. Cook, stirring,
until thick. Add remaining wine and cheese. Stir until cheese
melts. Serve over chicken.
Yield: 6 Servings
v
v v v v
When the President was under sedation
for a
medical procedure, he invoked
the 25th
Amendment, giving control of the government
to Alexander Haig. Ha ha! Just kidding.
He
wasn't available, so Vice President
Cheney
was in charge. What did
he get done?
The Top 9 Accomplishments of Dick Cheney's
2-Hour,
5-Minute Presidency
9> Congress exiled to Guantanamo.
8> Patrick Leahy invited to perform likely-impossible sexual act
on White House lawn.
7> The Executive Branch no longer legally part of the Executive
Branch.
6> He had his heart drained and the dirty oil replaced.
5> Homosexuality made illegal (non-Cheneys only.)
4> Scooter Libby pardoned and given $50 million retirement
parachute. Also, EPA budget cut $50 million.
3> Cheney's pacemaker battery replaced with more presidential
Energizer as opposed to his standard-VP-issue Duracell.
2> Not a thing –- was on hold for AOL tech support the whole time.
and the Number 1 Accomplishment
of Dick
Cheney's 2-Hour, 5-Minute Presidency...
1> With his arm temporarily freed up, it was a good time to get a
few polyps shaved from it.
v
v v v v
Click
here: Detect hard disk failures before they happen, from O'Reilly Media - Downloads
- TechRepublic
http://ct.zdnet.com/clicks?t=34154654-806f0115a755e77dbd661609f3a0db00-bf&s=5&fs=0
One of the most common ways that business users lose data is when a hard disk
goes bad. What IT
pros often don't realize is that there are ways to see if a hard disk
is going to fail before the failure occurs,
which can provide enough time to back up needed data. This sample hack from
O'Reilly's PC Hacks
shows how to use S.M.A.R.T. technology to get notification before potential
failures.
Click
here: PC World - What Is the Best Way to Unstick My Frozen PC?
http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,128577/article.html?tk=nl_dmxhow
Is it really frozen, or just very slow? Take a short break, and if everything's
working again when you
get back, clear the cobwebs by clicking Start, Turn Off Computer, Restart
(be patient;
it could still be slow). MORE info at the site!
v
v v v v
"Hyperemia" is too much blood in any part of the body...
...finally, a name for that particular male condition
v
v v v v
"Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile
for a satellite picture."
Steven Wright
v
v v v v
Q: You had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A: VERY large hands.
v
v v v v
*submitted by*
GRANDPASAM56
Click
here: Attention...Hello Friend!
http://www.toilette-humor.com/Daddy.html
2. Click here: My
Little Circle of Friends
http://asandboxgreeting.com/inmycircle.html
3. Click here:
Dazzling Dahlias
http://asandboxgreeting.com/dazzlingdahliasult.html
v
v v v v
There is a raffle at the local Jewish Community Centre and prizes
are being drawn.
"4th prize, which goes to Hymie Himmelfarb, is a Rolls Royce." Huge applause.
Hymie goes up to collect his keys and shake hands.
"3rd prize, which goes to Frank Myers, is a Rolls Royce and a
cheque for £10,000."
Huge applause. Frank goes up to collect his keys and cheque and
shake hands.
"2nd prize, which goes to Abe Epstein, is a piece of fruit cake!"
Ghastly silence. Abe goes up to the stage to the presenter.
"What do you mean, a piece of fruit cake? 4th prize was a Rolls
Royce, 3rd prize was a Rolls Royce plus a cheque for £10,000,
so what the hell do you mean a piece of fruit cake for the second prize?"
"Ah," says the presenter, "This is special fruit cake. It's made
by the Rabbi's wife"
"Fuck the Rabbi's wife" says Abe, hysterically.
"What? You want the 1st prize as well?" came the reply.
v
v v v v
v
v v v v
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing
out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights
lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other
Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the
wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take
off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just
announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts,
we're taking off", No one saw her for the rest of the flight to
Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way
and half of the passengers.
v
v v v v
"Two hundred miles off the coast of New Orleans the largest oil
reserve is believed to have been discovered. It could increase
our reserves by 50 percent and be worth over $15 billion. This
reserve could cut the price of gas by a penny!"
Jay Leno
v
v v v v
"Bob Woodward claims that the Bush administration is in a state
of denial. Today the Bush administration denied it."
Dave Letterman
v
v v v v
Click
here: BREAKING: Chrysler announces lifetime powertrain warranty! - Autoblog
http://www.autoblog.com/2007/07/26/breaking-chrysler-announces-lifetime-powertrain-warranty/
Chrysler today leapfrogged every other car maker by extending its powertrain
warranty
on every new car and truck it sells to the life of the vehicle. The warranty
will apply to
the entire powertrain including the engine, transmission/transaxle, drive shafts,
and axles.
The new warranty goes into effect today, July 26, 2007 and applies to all new
2007s
that are on the dealer lots as well as 2008 models.
The warranty covers all parts and labor as long as the owner brings the car
in to a
Chrysler dealer at least once every five years for a free powertrain inspection.
Click
here: Latest Rollover Stats Show SUVs Roll Most - Cars Least
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1R4/Wa&sdn=cars&cdn=autos&tm=8&gps=211_266_1193_850&f=00&su=
p284.8.150.ip_&tt=14&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//cars.about.com/od/safetyfacts/a/roll_results.htm
If avoiding a rollover in a highway crash appeals to you, then you'd
better forget about buying
a sport-utility vehicle. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
has just released its latest
rollover statistics and as a group, sport-utes finished poorly. Cars,
on the other hand did well in the tests.
Click
here: About.com: http://www.alldata.com/consumer/TSB/
http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=cars&cdn=autos&tm=7&gps=87_434_1193_850&f=00&su=p
284.8.150.ip_&tt=14&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.alldata.com/consumer/TSB/
Automotive Recalls and Technical Service Bulletins are listed by Year, Make,
Model and Engine Option .
Select a Year, then a Manufacturer, to see a list of Recalls and Technical Service
Bulletins (TSB) for your car or truck.
Click
here: ReviewCars.com - New Car Reviews by Consumers
http://www.ReviewCars.com&client=ca-primedia-basic_js
Consumer reviews!
v
v v v v
I wanted to take my kids to the movies but did not want to wait
on line to buy the tickets, so I called ahead to the theater to
buy them over the phone.
I asked, "How much is a ticket?"
They said, "Seven dollars."
I asked, "How much for children?"
They said, "Same price, Seven dollars."
I said, "The airlines charge half fare for children."
They said, "OK, put your kids on a plane to somewhere, and you
come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."
v
v v v v
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
v
v v v v
Click
here: Welcome to Total Copy official homepage
http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=e5kej6bab.0.d6dhg5bab.usova9bab.157&ts=S0235&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ranvik.net%2Ftotalcopy%2F
TOTAL
COPY. The author of this program says it does a better and faster job than
Windows of copying your
files. It works with Windows 98/2000/NT/XP and is a free download at
http://www.ranvik.net/totalcopy/
Click here: Download Internet
Explorer 7 optimized for Google
http://www.google.com/toolbar/ie7/
INTERNET
EXPLORER 7 OPTIMIZED FOR GOOGLE. If you love IE and you're planning on upgrading
to
IE7 and you love Google, here's a marriage of the two at http://www.google.com/toolbar/ie7/
Click
here: CNET Online Courses: Podcasting 101 - Home Entertainment Tips, Tricks,
and How-tos at CNET.
http://ct.help.cnet.com/clicks?t=36653875-806f0115a755e77dbd661609f3a0db00-bf&s=5&fs=0
Learn step by step how to download and organize podcasts. Plus, find
out how to record
and promote your own podcasts for the world to hear.
In this course you will learn:
Find out what hardware and software you’ll need.
Explore the style and presentation skills necessary to produce an interesting
podcast.
Learn the steps involved in recording and editing a podcast.
Understand the technical requirements necessary to publish your podcast.
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PENNE
PASTA WITH PORTOBELLO & CHEESE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
2 tablespoons Chopped onion
2 Garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon Olive oil
1 cup portobello mushrooms sliced
1 cup Canned Italian tomatoes, chopped & reserve liquid
5 small black olives, sliced in half
1/8 teaspoon Crushed red pepper
2 cup Cooked penne pasta
3 teaspoons fresh grated parmesan cheese
Fresh basil leaves for garnish
DIRECTIONS:
In a 3 quart microwavable casserole, combine onion, garlic
and oil and stir to coat. Microwave on high (100%) for 1
minute. Add mushrooms and tomatoes with reserved liquid and
stir to combine. Cover and microwave on high for 7 minutes,
stirring once every 3 minutes. Add olives and pepper and stir
thoroughly. To serve, in serving bowl arrange pasta; top with
mushroom-tomato mixture and toss to combine. Sprinkle with
cheese and garnish with basil.
Yield: 2 Servings
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It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in
front of you in the supermarket express lane.
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"It's a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that
one's safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a
government contract."
Alan Shepherd
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*submitted by*
GRANDPASAM56
Click here: Heavens
Gates ~The Twist~ Chubby Checker
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/thetwist.html
Booty
Music
Yahoo Music conducted a poll asking people what song they like to play
while getting freaky.
The Sun reported the story, which comes with a one sentence explanation
from a music psychologist:
One function of music is to seduce.
01. Marvin Gaye – "Sexual Healing"
02. U2 – "With Or Without You"
03. Barry White – "My First My Last My Everything"
04. Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin – "Je T’aime"
05. Chris Isaac – "Wicked Game"
06. Al Green – "Let’s Stay Together"
07. Phyllis Nelson – "Move Closer"
08. INXS – "I Need You Tonight"
09. Madonna – "Justify My Love"
10. Kylie Minogue – "Slow"
11. Justin Timberlake -"Sexyback"
12. Massive Attack - "Teardrop"
13. Portishead - "Glorybox
14. Jimi Hendrix - "Foxy Lady"
15. Goldfrapp - "Number 1"
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The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest
that she has a terrible secret.
The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity
of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, That's not so serious, Sister
Bernadette. Say five Hail Mary's, five Our Fathers, and do five
cartwheels on your way to the altar."
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"At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words
I wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.'"
Mark Klein
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Showing Off
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/911.html
Here
What A Shame For A Name
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/912.html
Here
You Gotta Be Kidding
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/913.html
Here
Good On TV
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/914.html
Here
Not Tonight
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/915.html
Here
Big Balled Squirrel...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200404/012.htm
Here
FULL moon
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1476.html
Here!
Geek Leak
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1477.html
Here!
In my day
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1478.html
Here!
Other men
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1479.html
Here!
Glad to come home!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1480.html
Here!
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Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied,
with regard
to featured products or services. Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control
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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making!
So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep
on rockin'
it's
a state of mind
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©1999 - 2007 - Deborah Austin - All rights reserved and held by Rockin'
and Rollin'
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