Editor:
DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Guysbabi, Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor: Amanda260
Internet Security Editor: DebsSweet
Z Z Z Z Z Z
Haven't been sleeping well for quite some time -- now I am on Ambien and all
I want
to do is sleep now! *sigh* If I nod off just ignore me and scroll
down
for all the neat stuff I have for you.
Be
careful when surfing the Internet. I have checked EACH link submitted
to you and they are in working
order as of this posting. Always be aware of the risks out there and keep
current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my
heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
to me, deb@debsnewsletter.com and your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to
ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild
ride!
Happy Father's Day!
The Top 8 Favorite Songs of
Whales
8> Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Perfume
7> Twist and Spout
6> Harpooned Through the Heart
5> The Krill Is Gone
4> I Love Kelp and Sole
3> Baleen on Me
2> O-R-C-A in the USA
and the Number 1 Favorite Song of Whales...
1> A White Sport Boat and a Pinged Cetacean
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QUICK BAKED CATCH OF THE DAY
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
Walleye or other fresh fish fillets
Milk
1 bag of potato chips
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/2-3/4 teaspoon thyme
1 sleeve soda crackers, crushed
4 tablespoons melted butter
DIRECTIONS:
Cut fish into you favorite-size pieces. In Ziploc bag, crush
potato chips. Add parmesan cheese and thyme to bag and shake
well. Dip fish in milk, then coat with potato chip mixture.
Spray two large cookie sheets with non-stick cooking spray
and sprinkle with crushed soda crackers. Place fish on the
cookie sheets. Drizzle with melted butter. Bake uncovered
at 500 degrees for 10 minutes or less, just until fish flakes.
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Click here: Just One - North Shore
Animal League America
http://www.nsalamerica.org/justone/
Donate if you can -- it's a no-kill shelter. You can make a one-time donation
or do as I do and have it automatically
drawn out of your account each month. I hope you will consider this
Ferrets' Fondness for Suckling
Some ferrets, like many cats and kittens, find comfort in sucking on something
soft (since their thumbs have sharp nails at the
end), especially when they're falling asleep. This behavior is seen frequently
in any animals separated from Mom at an early
age. Cats usually choose fabric (called wool sucking) or fingers. Some ferrets
view the ears of other ferrets as pacifiers. If the
recipient of the ear sucking doesn't mind and the ear doesn't become raw and
irritated, then it's not a problem. You should,
however, offer an alternative, such as a safe baby toy or Nylabone.
Meet the equivalent of furry tornadoes in Ferrets For Dummies
[ http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764552597.html?cid=etipBookLink
],
by Kim Schilling.
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The
Top 14 Sports Movies We'd Like to See
14> There's Something About Barry
13> Honey, I Shrunk the Salary Cap
12> N*A*S*H
11> Chicago Cubs and the Lost Crusade
10> Yours, Mine, and Shawn Kemp's
9> Battin'
8> The Devils Wear Nada
7> Schindler's Lineup Card
6> Bedtime for Bonds-o
5> The Fastball and the Furious
4> Eternal Dusting of the Spotless Home Plate
3> Apollo 13, Zeus 7
2> The Norwood Shank Redemption
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sports Movie We'd Like to See...
1> My Dinner With Andro
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Click
here: http://a444.g.akamai.net/7/444/703/20060831161516/www.marthastewart.com/images/pdf/stain_removal_basics.pdf
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jhlQ0F7Ccc0WZD0EXfd0Ew
Printable Stain Removal Basics!
Click
here: Medicine Cabinet Organizer
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jhlQ0F7Ccc0WZD0EXfa0Et
Make the most of a tight space with these easy tricks. Have galvanized metal
cut to fit the back of the cabinet
and inside the door. Adhere metal with caulk. (If your mirror has clips, loosen
them, and slide the metal
behind them.) Attach magnetized hooks, a notepad holder for brushes and combs,
and spice canisters
for hair elastics and barrettes. Group like items in votive holders and small
acrylic
boxes; double surface space with acrylic risers.
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Pink
Peppermint Pie
Ingredients
Graham Cracker Crust:
1 1/4 C. graham cracker crumbs, about 16 squares
2 tsp. sugar
1/4 C. melted butter
For filling:
24 large white marshmallows
1/2 C. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1/8 tsp. salt
6 drops peppermint extract
6 drops red food coloring
1 C. chilled whipping cream
2 Tbs. crushed peppermint candy
Directions
To make crust: Heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix crumbs, sugar and butter. Press
mixture firmly
against bottom and sides of an 8-inch pie plate. Bake for 10 minutes and cool.
To make filling: Heat marshmallows and milk in saucepan over low heat, stirring
constantly, just until
marshmallows have melted. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, salt, peppermint
extract and food coloring.
Refrigerate, stirring occasionally, until mixture mounds slightly when dropped
from a spoon. Beat whipping
cream in chilled bowl until stiff. Stir marshmallow mixture until blended and
fold into the whipped
cream. Pour into crust, refrigerate for at least 12 hours. Just before serving,
sprinkle with crushed candy.
Yield: 1 8-inch pie
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Nicole Richie Slips Between Cell Bars to Visit Pal Paris
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*submitted by*
KP1983
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The Top 7 Signs Your Nurse Is a Pirate
7> One white shoe, one white stocking, one whitewashed peg leg.
6> Her name tag has her title as "Aarrr N."
5> You notice that the red button on your call light has been
replaced by a tiny skull and crossbones.
4> The finesse with which she slices through your bandages with a
flourish of her hook.
3> Two words: rum IVs.
2> Your thermometer smells vaguely of parrot.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Nurse Is a Pirate...
1> She acts like a drunk, wears too much eyeliner, dresses in
outlandishly inappropriate clothing, and acts like everything
is a big huge dramatic deal. Either she's a pirate, or she really
really *is* Johnny Depp.
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Deciding on Gravel or Stone Paths
Gravel and crushed stone, which aren't the same material, create
paths with a classic, old-world feeling. The pea gravel used for
landscaping has rounded edges and is uniform in size. It has the
sound and feel of loose pebbles. It drains quickly and stays
clean, but it constantly moves underfoot. Most gravel is gray.
Crushed stone has sharp edges that enable it to compact into a
solid mass. It varies in size. The mixture of small rocks and
fines (sand and fine particles) compacts into a dense surface
that's almost as solid as paving materials. The smaller
particles, however, stick to shoes and become messy. Larger-sized
particles and stones don't compact as tightly, but are cleaner.
Crushed stone varies in color from tan and beige tones to blue
and gray tones.
For more information like this, get a copy of Landscaping For
Dummies [ http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764551280.html?cid=etipBookLink
],
by Philip Giroux.
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Bill and Lynn had married under none too happy circumstances, and their
married life had not been anything to brag about either.
But when, after they had lived together for thirty five years, Bill
went to the local judge to ask for an annulment, the whole of Michigan
gasped with amazement.
A date for the hearing was set, however, and when the time came the
judge demanded to know the grounds on which Bill based his demand for
an annulment.
"It's like this, your Honor," answered Bill, "I've just learned that
Lynn's father never had a license to carry a gun."
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
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ROOKIE RUNDOWN:
Tips to get you newbies up and going!
Eliot in Fircrest, WA, sometimes sends an e-mail to several friends. He wants
to protect the privacy of the recipients. But he’s not sure how to do this.
I wish more people were so respectful, Eliot. These days, it is a good idea
to keep e-mail addresses under wraps. Messages to multiple recipients can be
a goldmine for spammers.
Also, group e-mail messages can spark a flurry of activity. If someone hits
Reply All instead of Reply, their response goes to the entire e-mail list. Talk
about annoying!
Fortunately, there is a simple solution: BCC, or blind carbon copy. This allows
you to send messages to a list of people. But the names in the BCC field won’t
be visible to the recipients.
So, start by putting your e-mail address in the To field. Then, put all the
other addresses in the BCC field. Your name will be the only one that recipients
see.
Now, you may not always see the BCC field. Some Web-based e-mail providers hide
it. Not many people use it.
But it’s still available. For example, in Yahoo! mail, look where you enter
e-mail addresses. Click Show BCC.
You’ll also see a box labeled CC, which means carbon copy. It is similar to
BCC. But everyone will see the addresses entered there.
One of my pet peeves is all the extra junk that’s included when you forward
an e-mail. If this bugs you, too, try EmailStripper.
It cleans up your messages. I have a link to this free
program on my site. While you’re there, why not try
Thunderbird,
too? It is a free e-mail program from Mozilla.
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CHIN3917
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all
but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the
track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the
4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch
watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the
5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on
the forehead of one of the horses. Mitch made a beeline for a betting
window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was
another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see
which horse the priest would b less for the 6th race. The priest again
blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated. As the
races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one
ended up coming in first.
Bye and bye, Mitch was was pulling in some serious money. By
the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He
made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the
priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on. True to his
pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the
forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. As Mitch
observed, the priest then blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the
horse. Mitch
knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the horse. He then
watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last.
Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the
track area where the priest was. Confronting the old priest he demanded, "Father!
What happened, Father? All day long you blessed horses and they all won.
Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now,
thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - - all of it!".
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "Son," he said,
"that's the problem with you Protestants, - you can't tell the difference
between a simple blessing and the last rites."
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It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
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Click here:
Stop Type 2 Diabetes Before You Get It -- ThirdAge
http://www.thirdage.com/news/archive/ALT02070108-02.html
The evidence is clear: People with a condition known as prediabetes can delay
or even prevent the
onset of full Type 2 diabetes with moderate exercise and weight loss. But millions
of people who have the
condition don't even know it. The good news is, you can get screened for prediabetes.
And you should,
especially if you're overweight, have a family history of diabetes, or are American
Indian, African-American,
Hispanic/Latino American, Asian-American or Pacific Islander.
Click here: Understanding Borderline
Personality Disorder - BPD Basics
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BOy
The American Psychiatric Association defines personality disorders as “an enduring
pattern of the inner
experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the
culture of the individual who
exhibits it.” A diagnosis of a Personality Disorder means that there is an ongoing,
rigid pattern of behavior
that results in serious problems and impairment in a persons functioning. These
patterns of
behavior can not be attributed to any other mental or physical disorder.
Click here: What is Self-Injurious
Behavior?
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BP0
Self-Injury refers to the purposeful harming of one's body. The harm can occur
though any means, and
includes cutting, hitting, burning, head banging, bruising, choking, bone breaking,
scratching, inferring
with wound healing, and inserting objects into body openings.
Cutting oneself with a blade is the most common type of self Injury. The cutting
tends
to be localized to arms and legs, but can occur anywhere.
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A young man had just finished high school and wanted to go to
college. He approached his father and said, "Dad, would you send
me to college?"
"Son," the father replied, "You don't even know what's what! When
you know what's what, I'll send you to college."
His father then offered his son a job in the family business,
a furniture store. The boy worked in his father's store for the
next year. After the year was over he approached his father again.
"Dad," he said, "I've worked for you for a year. Now will you send
me to college now?"
His dad replied, "Son, you still don't know what's what! When you
know what's what I'll send you to college."
The boy was dejected and left. He went to a bar to have a drink.
At the bar he met an attractive young lady. They seemed to hit it
off well. So well, in fact, that they both left and went to her
apartment. After an hour of small talk, the young lady said she was
going to go to her bedroom and slip into something more comfortable!
When she returned she was totally naked...except for a tiny belt
around her waist.
The boy looked at her in astonishment, pointed to the belt and
asked, "What's that?"
The lady answered, "What's what?"
"What's What?" He exclaimed, "If I knew 'What's What', I'd be
in college."
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A little girl keeps sucking her thumb and her mom gets worried
because sucking your thumb isn't usually good for you.
Her mom says "If you don't stop sucking your thumb you will blow
up like a balloon!"
The little girl stops sucking her thumb and in about a week her
mother is happy, but about two weeks after the girl stopped sucking
her thumb the girl saw a woman that was pregnant.
She goes up to the lady and says shyly, "I know what you've
been doing."
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*submitted by*
SHAYNABUTTONS
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A guy walks into a bookstore not looking for anything
in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots
something of interest. A book, with a very interesting title,
"Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want." So he picks it
up and opens it to a random page.
"Chapter 1 The First Date."
So, he glances the chapter over for a few minutes, and rushes out
of the bookstore to call a friend whom he's wanted to ask out for
quite a while.
When he gets home, picks up the phone and calls her. She answers,
"Hello?" He says, "Hi, Jessica? It's me. Listen, I was wondering
if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?"
She says, "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with that."
He gets excited. He thought she'd say, "No Way!" but she didn't. So,
he decided to take it one step further.
He asks, "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?"
She replies, "Sure, that would be great too!"
"Fine, I'll pick you up about 9, you should have finished eating
by then!"
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The young woman approached the executive in front of his office
and said, "Please sir, give to take a wayward girl off the street."
"And how much do you suggest I give?" he asked.
"It depends," she smiled, "Entirely on how long you want to keep
her off of it."
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Click
here: This Will Make You Laugh - The New Editor
http://www.theneweditor.com/index.php?/archives/4917-This-Will-Make-You-Laugh.html
What a funny laugh!
*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
Click
here: #email
http://www.clipaday.com/2007/03/funny_wooden_spoon_prank.html#email
These guys pull off a pretty funny prank
*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.netb
Click
here: http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/8610/mooninggrans1jy.swf
http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/8610/mooninggrans1jy.swf
A wonderful way to protect your home!
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My husband was telling colleagues about his involvement with our
local YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses programs.
His Indian name was Walking Deer, he told them.
Our daughter was Little Fawn, and our son, Running Deer.
"What do you call your wife?" one co-worker asked.
"Yes Dear," my husband replied.
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Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without
cracking it?
A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
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BODACIOUS BBQ RIBS
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
3 pounds short ribs (or chicken)
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups water, or enough to barely cover ribs
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup catsup
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
DIRECTIONS:
THE DAY BEFORE GRILLING THE RIBS, put the sugar and vinegar
in a pot large enough to hold the ribs and place over medium
heat on top of the stove. Cook until the vinegar reduces and
forms a syrup with the sugar, about 8 minutes. Watch carefully
as the syrup will suddenly darken in color. Immediately add
broth, water, catsup, tomato paste, mustard, Worcestershire,
cloves, chili powder and pepper and bring to a boil. Add the
ribs and cook 20 minutes. (for chicken, cook for 10 minutes)
Remove from heat, remove the ribs from the liquid and place
covered in the refrigerator. Cook the liquid over medium
heat until it becomes thick and syrupy.
DAY OF GRILLING, Place the ribs on the grill so they are not
directly over the coals or flame and cover the grill so that
smoke collects inside. If your grill does not have a cover,
improvise one out of aluminium foil. Cook for 40 minutes,
basting with barbecue sauce every 10 minutes. When ribs are
well heated, remove to a platter and serve with extra sauce
on the side.
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Click here: Debsnewsletter
- Archives
http://www.debsnewsletter.com/archives.shtm
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An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user
told the tech that her computer was not working. She described
the problem and the tech concluded that her computer needed to be
brought in and serviced.
He told her, "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I
will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she showed up at his door ... with
the electrical cord in her right hand!
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PICNIC CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 package (6 oz.) semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
DIRECTIONS:
In a bowl stir together flour, baking soda, and salt to
combine thoroughly; set aside. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
In mixer bowl combine butter and sugars; beat until fluffy
and well blended. Beat in egg. Add vanilla and mix well.
3. Gradually add flour mixture until just blended. Stir in
chocolate chips and walnuts (if used). Drop by rounded
teaspoons, placed well apart, onto lightly greased or
nonstick baking sheets. Bake until cookies are well browned
(12 to 14 minutes). Cool on wire racks.
Yield: Makes about 30 2 3/4 inch cookies.
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A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife
to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When
you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar accepted
the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East.
Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthy
parishioner, who told them that while they were gone, he had had a
new church built. "It's the finest building money can buy, vicar,"
said the man. "No expense was spared." And he was right. It was
a magnificent edifice both outside and in.
But there was one striking difference. There was only one pew,
and it was at the very back. "A church with only one pew?" asked
the vicar.
"You just wait until Sunday," the rich man said.
When the time came for the Sunday service, the early arrivals
entered the church, filed onto the one pew and sat down. When
the pew was full, a switch clicked silently, a circuit closed,
the gears meshed, a belt moved and, automatically, the rear pew
began to move forward. When it reached the front of the church, it
came to a stop. At the same time, another empty pew came up from
below at the back and more people sat down. And so it continued,
pews filling and moving forwards until finally the church was full,
from front to back.
"Wonderful!" said the vicar, "Marvelous!"
The service began, and the vicar started to preach his sermon. He
launched into his text and, when 12 o'clock came, he was still
going strong, with no end in sight. Suddenly a bell rang, and a
trap door in the floor behind the pulpit dropped open.
"Wonderful!" said the congregation, "Marvelous!"
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Changing File Systems
Most Windows XP systems that begin as Windows XP systems (they've
never had an older version of Windows on them) are formatted
using the NTFS file system. If your system was upgraded a couple
of times over the years and finally matured to a Windows XP
system, it may use the FAT or FAT 32 file system.
If that's what your system uses and you don't have a specific
need for it, you could benefit by converting to NTFS. The benefit
is realized through better disk performance and better data security.
It's a good idea (actually, an excellent idea) to back up your
data before you do any file system conversion.
To figure out what file system you have, follow these steps:
1. Click the Start button.
2. Right-click My Computer and choose Manage. If your
system is configured to have a My Computer icon on the
desktop, you could right-click it. Either way, Windows
opens the Computer Management window. The window shows
a hierarchical display of tools and features on the
left of the screen.
3. If a plus sign is next to Storage (in the hierarchy),
click it. The tree is expanded and you see a few items
under the Storage item.
4. Click the Disk Management option in the hierarchy. A
list of your disk drives appears at the right side of
the Computer Management window. At the top-right you
see a list of all your system's drives. The File System
column indicates the file system used for the drive.
(Different drives can use different file systems.)
To convert an existing FAT drive to the NTFS file system, you use
a program called (appropriately enough) convert.exe. You run this
program from the command prompt. As an example, the following
steps show you how to convert your D: drive to NTFS:
1. Open a command prompt window by choosing Start, All
Programs, Accessories, Command Prompt.
2. In the command prompt window, type convert d: /fs:ntfs.
If you want to convert a different drive, replace d:
with the drive letter desired, followed by a colon.
That's it: two steps. Conversion can take a while, so you may
want to take a break, go watch a show, or go home for the
evening. When the conversion is done, you should reboot your
system.
Find more information like this in Cleaning Windows XP For
Dummies [ http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-076457549X.html?cid=etipBookLink
],
by Allen Wyatt.
Click here: Adjusting the Visual
Effects in Windows XP Can Speed Up Windows XP
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BMT
Windows XP provides a number of interesting visual effects like animated windows
and fading menus.
These effects, however, can slow down your computer. In this tutorial, you'll
learn how to customize the
visual effects to match your preferences and performance needs.
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For her husband's birthday, a wife wanted to surprise him when he
came home from work. After some careful consideration she decided
to strip naked and wrap herself in saran wrap from her shoulders
to her ankles.
Pretty soon the hubby enters his house exhausted from a tough day
at work. He walks through the kitchen, places his lunchbox down,
and hears his wife say, "Honey! I'm in the living room."
Rounding the corner, he spots her all wrapped up in plastic.
After a quick peek, he immediately he says,
"Leftovers again!"
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A friend of mine was telling me why his son was serving a bunch
of detentions in high school.
"They were roll playing in class, and one of the cheerleaders
was playing the part of Princess Dianna and he was playing Prince
Charles. The scenario was the first time they were introduced. The
Princess asked my son, the Prince, 'How would you like to be
addressed?' And my son, in his best British accent said, 'with
your tongue on my scrotum.'"
"Yep," I said, "I bet that would do it."
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Click here: Manage
everyday life information securely from cell phones
http://www.net-security.org/secworld.php?id=4926
CellTrust Corporation announced the
immediate availability of CellTrust WALLET beta, its automated,
secure software and subscription service offering for cell phones. CellTrust
WALLET gives consumers the ability
to use their cell phones to proactively prevent fraud and identity theft; manage
personal account
information, including real-time flight and travel information, finances/banking,
as well as retail accounts; and
to securely purchase goods and services anywhere, anytime.
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"Oil is under $60 a barrel and you know what that means for the
American consumer? Nothing."
Jay Leno
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"Al Gore was speaking at a pep rally in Central Park. Because when
you think pep, you think Al Gore. I have to be careful about this,
because Al Gore is, uh, not a dynamic speaker. Halfway through
his speech, squirrels were climbing on him."
David Letterman
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*borrowed from*
shinyhappyhead.com
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It was a typically busy day at the bank. After a glance at the
line of waiting customers, a harried-looking man came up to the
side counter and demanded, "What do I have to do to change the
address on my account?"
Without missing a beat, the clerk replied, "Move."
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"During the Democratic debate last week they all talked about
conserving energy. Like keeping the thermostat down in the
winter. Using low energy bulbs. Turning off lights. Using
less gas. It made me realize, my dad was like the first envi-
ronmentalist. He would walk around the house yelling, 'turn
off those lights! Turn the heat down!' He was green before his time."
Jay Leno
v
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Top
10: Sunny Bargains
Pack up the sunscreen and little else when you head to one of these winning
bargain hotels
in the Caribbean and Latin America in our Travelers' Choice awards.
1. _Turtle Nest Inn, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotelreview-a_g.14
7365-a_d.149663-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
2. _Crystals, Soufriere, St. Lucia_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotelreview-a_g.147345-a_d.447047-a_bl
ock.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
3. _Los Milagros Hotel, Los Cabos, Mexico_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotelrevie
w-a_g.152515-a_d.156754-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
4. _Posada Luna del Sur, Tulum, Mexico_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotelreview-a_g.150813-a_d.4
77460-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
5. _The Bungalows Hotel, Los Cabos, Mexico_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotelreview
-a_g.152515-a_d.169713-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
6. _Hotel Villas Las Anclas, Cozumel, Mexico_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotelrev
iew-a_g.150809-a_d.252678-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
7. _Iberostar Costa Dorada, Dominican Republic_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotel
review-a_g.147290-a_d.150815-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
8. _Paradera Park Apartments Aruba, Oranjestad, Aruba_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hotel
review-a_g.147248-a_d.264239-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
9. _Peach and Quiet, Christ Church, Barbados_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hote
lreview-a_g.147266-a_d.181649-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
10. _Luna Blue Hotel & Garden, Playa del Carmen, Mexico_ (http://www.tripadvisor.com/News-a_to.hot
elreview-a_g.150812-a_d.292966-a_block.toptendestinations_us-a_nid.TW.20070129.A-a_nuid.B9070BAF0D79B70805DC4DA793C7B612)
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"Kim Jong Il is apparently close to choosing his successor.
The only person with sunglasses big enough for the job to replace
him is? Nicole Richie."
Conan O'Brien
v
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According to Glamour magazine, it takes the average woman 11
minutes to get aroused. The problem is that by the time the average
woman is aroused the guy's been asleep for nine minutes.
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I know the instructions clearly state,
"Take one pill three times daily,"
but by the time I've regurgitated
that sucker twice, there's not all
that much left for the third swallow.
(Brad
Simanek)
The thing about having kids is that
the same thing is always on TV: Three
boogers, a macaroni-and-cheese handprint,
and that black squiggle from when the
1-year-old got a hold of a marker.
(Travis
Ruetenik)
v
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"The air quality in New York is getting worse and worse. I was
walking thought Central Park during my lunch hour and, honest to
God, you could hear the birds coughing."
Dave Letterman
v
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A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter,
they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the garage. So they
bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse repellants, the kind you
plug in and they emit some kind of sound that drives off mice. The
husband was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it
was an animal repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing
from mice to elephants.
"Really!?" she said, "Mice to elephants, eh." sounding a bit skeptical.
"Yes," he replied, seriously. "We've had it here for a couple of
weeks now and we haven't had a single elephant in the garage the
whole time!"
v
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Click
here: Ouba: The Great Journey
http://www.gamehouse.com/gamedetails/?game=ouba&navpage=downloadgames&utm_source=gamehouse-
house&utm_medium=email&utm_content=2007-02-22_link2&utm_campaign=newsletter_2007-02-22
Use your puzzle skills to rescue the hapless Oubas in this colorful challenge.
Garouba, a very bad Ouba, has used
his dark magic to turn the Oubas home into a charred wasteland. Swap and slide
colored blocks to save the
fleeing Oubas before Garouba traps them in his tree-top cages. Featuring two
game modes, 200 levels, and
10 thrilling power-ups, Ouba - The Great Journey is an engaging adventure for
the whole family.
Click
here: PC World - PC World Downloads - Super Mario: Final
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,16732/description.html?tk=nl_hsxdwn
Jump your way through Mario's whimsical world in this version of the arcade
classic.
Are you still aching for the days when you didn't have to read a manual or pay
out $20 to get
the gist of an arcade game? Super Mario Final takes you back to the first Super
Mario world,
where you walk and jump your way to...the next screen.
Click here: Ink Is It presented
by Kodak - Games
http://www.inkisit.com/games/inkblaster/
Didn't play this one - let me know how you like it
*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
Click
here: Animax Entertainment - Play Tic-Tac-Toe - Free TicTacToe Game
http://www.animaxinteractive.com/banana/Games/tictactoe.html
Oh - I like this --- you earn your "X" by answering trivia questions!
Fun
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BAKED POTATO SALAD
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
3 Potatoes,Idaho,medium-size
Water
1 1/3 ts Salt
2 tb Salad oil
1/2 c Onion,chopped
1 ts Mustard,prepard
1/4 ts Celery seed
2 tb Cider vinegar
1/2 c Green pepper,diced
1/4 c Carrot,shredded
DIRECTIONS:
Put potatoes in a large saucepan with 1 inch cold water and
1 teaspoon salt; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat and
simmer 25 minutes, until potatoes are tender; drain and cool.
Peel potatoes and slice 1/4-inch thick; set aside. Heat oil
in a medium-size skillet; saute onion until soft. Stir in
flour, mustard, celery seed and remaining 1/3 teaspoon salt.
Gradually add 1/2 cup water and vinegar; cook over low heat,
stirring constantly, until mixture boils and thickens.
Combine potatoes, green pepper and carrots in a bowl; add
sauce, mixing well. Spoon half the mixture into a shallow
8x8-inch baking dish; sprinkle with 1/2 cup cheese. Cover
with remaining potato mixture and cheese. Bake, uncovered,
in preheated 350 degree oven 15 to 20 minutes, or until
cheese is melted and vegetables are hot.
Yield: 4 Servings
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In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light into a
conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to
it, and at the next yard sale, it was the first thing she put out.
I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it out
and finally bought it.
"That'll look great in your home," I said.
"Oh," she replied. "It's not for me." My bridge club is having a
charity sale, and we were asked to bring the most hideous thing
we could find. What I have here is the winner!"
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Click here: Corporate Gibberish
Generator on AndrewDavidson.com
http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/
Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs
of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Click here: Message in a bottle,
Oceangram. The free message in a bottle website.
http://www.oceangram.com/index2.html
Welcome to Oceangram, the message in a bottle website. It is fun, easy and free.
Enjoy!
You
can start using this service immediately, there is no log-in or membership required.
Click on How to use Oceangram
to find out how to use this service. If you need further help, please
visit the FAQ section.
Remember,
never
provide personal information about yourself or others in public access websites.While
you are enjoying sending
and receiving messages in bottles, don't forget to visit the Oceangram
Store, where you can find real life
message in a bottle Oceangrams that you can send to your friends for any occasion,
birthdays, mothers day, graduations,
or simply to say hello. The Oceangram bottles make beautiful gifts, can
be customized with
your own greeting, and are simply the best way to express yourself.
Click here: Freecycle™: Changing the World One
Gift at a Time
http://freecycle.org/
The Freecycle Network™ is made up of many individual groups across the globe.
It's a grassroots and entirely
nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in
their own towns. Each local group is moderated
by a local volunteer (them's good people). Membership is free. To sign up, find
your community by clicking on the
region on the left. You may then go directly to your local group by clicking
on "Go To" or you may immediately
joining by clicking on "Join." It will generate an automatic e-mail which, when
sent, will sign you up for the local group
and send you a response with instructions on how it works. Can't find a group
near you? You might want to consider
starting one (click on "Start a Group" for instructions). Have fun! The Freecycle
Network was started in May
2003 to promote waste reduction in Tucson's downtown and help save desert landscape
from being taken over by
landfills. The Network provides individuals and non-profits an electronic forum
to "recycle" unwanted items.
One person's trash can truly be another's treasure!
*submitted by*
DeVulcano
Click
here: Quiz: Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/newsletter/mu-html/ny-et5
thgrade0227-quiz,0,3118508.triviaquiz?coll=orl-middayupdate-utility
Click here: Corporate Gibberish
Generator on AndrewDavidson.com
http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/
Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs
of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Click here: Neighboroo - Neighborhood Information
for Real Estate and Marketing
http://www.neighboroo.com/
Google-map wise to the location of your choice for information on lifestyle,
politics, crime, elementary school
rank, air quality, home prices, apartment rent, cost of living, commute time,
household income, tax rates,
unemployment, population density, race and ethnic origin. Neighbor is free in
Beta form
Click here: Mapwing - Create Virtual
Tours for Free
http://www.mapwing.com/create.php
Mapwing Basic lets you build an unlimited number of Basic virtual tours for
Free, then share these with
friends, family, and the entire world. Mapwing Basic virtual tours include up
to 20 points per tour, an
interactive map, and comment area. You can link to your virtual tours and chat
with other Mapwing users in the Public gallery.
Mapwing Basic Features:
Share your home, trip, or favorite spot with other people via the Web
Create virtual tours from photos, placed or drawn maps, and your comments
Browse a gallery of virtual tours from around the world
Connect with a growing network of Mapwing users
Click here: Pinky Strings - Things to
Help You Remember
http://www.pinkystrings.com/
You have so much to remember already. How could you possibly remember even one
more thing?
With your busy and stressful life, the last thing you need is another nagging
reminder. You need a cute,
warm and fuzzy friend to gently help you remember. You deserve cute
reminders from Pinky Strings.
This website is BRAND NEW and Pinky is out scouring the internet for for you.
New information and
products to help you remember will be added as they are discoverd.
If you are looking for cute things to help you remember,
please subscribe here for website updates.
v
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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
There was this guy that went to a whore house and he ask the lady if she had
a woman that could handle 16 inches.
She said, "Try the first door." When he got in there and stuck his dick in,
she said, "Take it out! Take it out!"
Well he did and then he went back to the woman at the desk and said, "I told
you
that I wanted a woman that could handle 16 inches."
The lady said, "Sorry, try the last door down the hall."
He went and when he got down there he stuck it in her and to his surprise she
didn't scream.
After they got done he said, "Talk to me baby." Then she said, "MOOOOO."
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A Hamas-produced children's show has
drawn the attention of watchdog groups
in the Middle East with a Mickey
Mouse-like character who urges kids to
drink milk, study hard, oh, and take up
arms against Israelis and America.
The
Top 7 Terrorist Kids' Shows
7> Lizzie McWired
6> Fragmented Rock
5> How I Met Your Martyr
4> Not-Too-Curious George the Imperialist Crusader
3> SpongeBomb ShitMyPants
2> BOOM
and the Number 1 Terrorist Kids' Show...
1> H. R. Blowingupstuff
v
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South
Beach
1
oz Vodka
1 oz Raspberry Schnapps (on top)
1 oz peach mix
3 lemonade mix
1/3 cranberry juice
South
Shore Surfer on Acid
1
part Jager
1 part Malibu
splash Chambord
splash Cranberry Juice
splash Pineapple Juice
Shaken till bruised
Strained into Martini Glass
v
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"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. "I'm
very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?"
asked his wife.
The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a
dog, and have to sleep with a cow!"
v
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According to a new book, they asked 50 women what they would do if they
had a male sex organ for one day. Most of them said, 'Probably get a
salary increase.'
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by deb
Heartstopper
by
Joy Fielding
Welcome to Torrance, Florida. Population: 4,160. As Sheriff John Weber
would attest, the deadliest predators to date
in his tiny hamlet were the alligators lurking in the nearby swamps. But
that was before someone abducted and murdered
a runaway teenage girl...and before the disappearance of popular and pretty
Liana Martin. The pattern is chilling to
Sandy Crosbie, the town's new high school English teacher. With a marriage
on the rocks, thanks to
her husband's online affairs, and a beautiful teenage daughter to protect, Sandy
wishes she'd never come to the seemingly quiet
town with shocking depths of scandal, sex, and brutality roiling beneath
its surface. And as Sheriff Weber digs up more
questions than answers in a dead-end investigation, one truth emerges:
the prettiest
ones are being targeted, the heartstoppers. And this killer intends to give
them their due....
Alternating between the chilling journal entries of a cold-blooded murderer
and the sizzling scandals
of small-town life, Heartstopper is Joy Fielding's most exciting novel
of suspense yet.
Yes - I really liked this book - stayed up way too long reading it too!
Extremely realistic and
I bet it keeps you guessing until the end!
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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
A father and his three daughters went into a hotel to stay in for the night.
When the daughters went in to check in, they
saw a really good looking bell boy. The father caught the three girls looking
at him and he threatened
to kill the bell boy if he did anything at all to the or with them.
So the bell boy did mind his own business and ignored the girls. When he was
working ever so diligently, the eldest
daughter goes to him and said that if you don't do it with me in bed, I will
pour red juice
all over my bed and said that you popped my cherry.
Fearing for his life, he did it with her. Then he saw the middle daughter in
the hallway and she said that if he
didn't do it with her, she would pour red juice all over her bed and say that
he popped her cherry.
Again fearing for his life, he agreed. The youngest daughter saw him and said
that if he did not have
sex with her, she would pour green juice all over her bed and said that he popped
her cherry.
He asked, "Why Green?"
She replied, "Because my cherry is not ripe yet, duh!
v
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While vacationing in the hills of Alabama, the big city man discovered
that he had no writing paper at all for his personal correspondence.
He went into the small town nearby and found only an old-fashioned country
store. Behind the counter was a really nice looking young lass, quite
obviously a local farm girl.
He asked, "Do you keep stationery?"
"Well," she giggled, "I can...until I have an orgasm, then
I just go plain wild and crazy!"
v
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v
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What's the definition of a woman?
Life support for a vagina.
v
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What's the difference between a geneaologist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, and a gynecologist looks up the
family bush.
v
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What is a FACT?
A Fact is a bit of grizzle That separates the Muck Hole from the
Fuck Hole, One slip and your in the Shit and that's a Fact
v
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Good
Security Habits
There are some simple habits you can adopt that, if performed
consistently, may dramatically reduce the chances that the information
on your computer will be lost or corrupted.
How can you minimize the access other people have to your information?
You may be able to easily identify people who could,
legitimately or
not, gain physical access to your computer--family members, roommates,
co-workers, members of a cleaning crew, and maybe others.
Identifying
the people who could gain remote access to your computer
becomes much
more difficult. As long as you have a computer
and connect it to a
network, you are vulnerable to someone or something else
accessing or
corrupting your information; however, you can develop habits that
make it more difficult.
* Lock your computer when you are
away from it. Even if you only
step away from your computer for a few
minutes, it's enough time
for someone else to destroy or corrupt
your information. Locking
your computer prevents another
person from being able to simply
sit down at your computer and access all of your
information.
* Disconnect your computer from the Internet
when you aren't using
it. The development of technologies such
as DSL and cable modems
have made it possible for
users to be online all the time, but
this convenience comes with risks. The
likelihood that attackers
or viruses scanning the network
for available computers will
target your computer becomes
much higher if your computer is
always connected. Depending on what method
you use to connect to
the Internet, disconnecting may mean ending
a dial-up connection,
turning off your computer or modem, or disconnecting
cables.
* Evaluate your security settings. Most software, including
browsers
and email programs, offers
a variety of features that you can
tailor to meet your needs
and requirements. Enabling certain
features to increase convenience
or functionality may leave you
more vulnerable to being attacked. It is important
to examine the
settings, particularly the security settings,
and select options
that meet your needs without putting you at increased
risk. If you
install a patch or a new version of the
software, or if you hear
of something that might affect
your settings, reevaluate your
settings to make
sure they are still appropriate (see
Understanding Patches, Safeguarding Your Data, and
Evaluating Your
Web Browser's Security Settings for more information).
more next week
v
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The definition of shit head:
someone who sees shit on the floor and steps in it anyway
v
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Mr. and Mrs. Nearier come before the judge for their divorce hearing.
The judge says, "What are the grounds?" Mrs. Nearier says,
"Cruel and inhuman punishment.
He tied me to the bed and then forced me to sing the National Anthem
while he pissed all over me."
The judge says, "My God, that's horrible."
She says, "Yeah. He KNOWS how much I hate that song."
v
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I had sex with this oriental woman, and I was horny again one
hour later.
v
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*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com
Click here: Cooking Debauchery
http://www.cookingdebauchery.com/
Summer Lentil Salad, Lemon-Almond Pudding, and more!
Click
here: Clean Home Journal™ - Recipe Corner
http://www.cleanhomejournal.com/recipe-corner/appetizers/51-beef-and-scallion-bites.asp?hs225=chj&hs227=200704
This delicious appetizer makes the most of two ingredients: beef and scallions.
The
result is a delicious hors d’oeuvre that tends to disappear quickly at parties
Click
here: Clean Home Journal™ - Recipe Corner
http://www.cleanhomejournal.com/recipe-corner/appetizers/51-prosciutto-
cheese-wrapped-asparagus-spears.asp?hs225=chj&hs227=200704
These blanched asparagus spears wrapped in goat cheese and prosciutto are perfect
for a spring party. Plus, they can double as a mini centerpiece
v
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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
Once there was a trucker, and he got caught in a bad storm. He walked, and walked
until finally he came
upon a young ladies house. The trucker asked the lady if he could
stay the night there and the lady said, "sure."
That night the trucker and the lady were sitting side by side on the couch watching
TV and the trucker
asks the lady if he can stick his finger in her belly-button and the lady again
says "sure."
So the trucker sticks his finger under the blanket and all of a sudden the lady
says, "that's not my belly-button."
The trucker replies, "that's not my finger."
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The Top 8 Odd Ways of Treating Your Kids' Allergies
8> Promote global warming. As all vegetation is fried to a crisp,
the allergens in the air will disappear.
7> Make hives fun: Let the kids connect the dots on each other.
6> Dander is a common allergen. Adopt a naked mole rat as a pet.
5> Relocate to the Arctic Circle.
4> Break out the Bubble Boy Suits.
3> Don't tempt fate with peanut reactions. Keep her home from
school when the lesson plan addresses the Carter
Administration.
2> Shave the siblings bald.
and the Number 1 Odd Way of Treating Your Kids' Allergies...
1> Sudafed. One in each nostril.
v
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Click here: Video - Install Memory
in a Mac - How to Install Memory in a Mac
http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3OmD
Need to install additional memory in your Mac? This video walks you through
the steps of
how to install memory in your Mac so you'll be up and running in no time!
v
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FRUIT SALAD
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup lime juice
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
2 medium nectarines, sliced
1 large banana, sliced
1 pint blueberries
1 pint fresh strawberries, sliced
1-1/2 cups watermelon balls
1 cup green grapes
1 kiwifruit, peeled and sliced
DIRECTIONS:
In a bowl, combine lime juice, water and sugar. Stir until
sugar is dissolved. Add nectarines and banana, toss to coat.
In a large glass bowl, combine remaining fruits and add the
nectarine mixture, stir gently. Cover and refrigerate for 1
hour. Serve with a slotted serving spoon.
Yield: 8-10 Servings
Categories: Fruits
v
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In my entire life, I've only told one lie. Well, I guess that makes two.
v
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Click
here: 10 Great First-Date Locations -- ThirdAge
http://www.thirdage.com/romance/romance/vday/10_first_date_locations_ss/
Finally, you found someone you really like. Your romantic feelings have
been resurrected, and you've got
butterflies just thinking about that first date. But where to go? Try one of
these unique locales
to make this date an unforgettable experience.
Click
here: Danger Ahead: 4 Hazardous Relationship Problems
http://www.lifescript.com/articles/5100.asp?BID=37948&SID=162964
12&EID=5C9A4C81-9E5E-4EB9-BC6E-53D879F1A884
Hazardous relationship probs
Click
here: Diggin' or Doggin'?
http://www.lifescript.com/articles/5834.asp?BID=39165&SID=17053750&EID=6108AB9D
-21FB-40F3-89FA-FF1083EB2DCB&utm_campaign=2006-06-13&utm_source=healthy-advant
age&utm_medium=email&utm_content=healthy-well-wise_diggin-or-doggin
He calls you frequently during the week, makes surprise visits “just to say
hi” and sends you a bouquet of your
favorite flowers for your birthday. But he’s also canceled two of your planned
dates and hasn’t gone in for the first
kiss yet. You like him (even despite his apparent flakiness), but are all signs
pointing to the conclusion that he likes
you, too? Find out how to tell if he’s interested in you or if he’s just sending
you mixed messages.
v
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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87
The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might
have the sentence, "If
you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra.
"Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you
prefer block or script letters?"
"Braille," she replied.
v
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John, for heaven's sake, why can't you just talk to me once
in awhile?" whined Mari.
"Huh?" John responded.
"Look around you!" she yells as she points around the room. "All
these books. Your head is always buried in books. You don't even
know I'm alive!"
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"You know, sometimes I wish I were a book. Then you'd at least
look at me."
"Hmmm," John mumbled in deep thought, "that's not a bad idea.
Then I could take you to the library every few days and change
you for something more interesting."
v
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Microsoft
isn't having a good track record with its updates. If you have your Windows
XP system set for automatic updates,
the word from here is, think again. That's not to say that ALL updates are bad.
Some may even be necessary to protect your
system. But what's the rush? Let a few thousand Windows users jump in front
of you in the line, sit back, read from a number
of sources whether the latest "critical" patches are all that critical or actually
do little
more than pave the way for more patches to fix the patch.
Do this: In Start|Control Panel, click on Security Center. In the Automatic
Updates section, click on Settings.
If you don't shut down Automatic Updates altogether, at least make sure your
settings look like this:
That means you'll be notified with one of those incessant balloons in your Systems
Tray when downloads are ready.
Microsoft may even try to slip the updates in on you when you start to shut
your computer down (but you're afforded
an option to shut down without the updates, so be wary.) Become an informed
user and don't cave in to
the nag messages. You have time, and you're in charge!
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Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.
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Another brand is coming out with a Viagra-like medicine.
Its only side effect seems to be some sinus problems.
Fellas, if it hits you in the nose, you're not doing so bad!
Jay Leno
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Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
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*submitted by*
DeVulcano
Click here: Snail
Mail/Smiles/A Dream And A Smile/Special Greetings For Special People
http://adreamandasmile.com/Smiles/Snail_Mail.html
2. Click here: Running
In The Rain
http://www.my-tgif.com/runningintherain.htm
*submitted by*
GRANDPASAM56
Click here: My Friend
http://iamshepoet.com/MyFriend.html
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Mike, Joe and Bob get pulled over by a cop in Alabama.
"OK, boys, do you have any idea how fast you was goin'? You
was goin' so fast that I'm gonna give all y'all tickets. What
are your names?"
Mike looks around and sees a mall nearby. "Uhh.. my name? Well
uhh.. its uh.. Penney. J.C. Penney."
Cop: "OK, JC Penney. Judge gonna rake you over da coals."
The cop moves over to Joe. "What's your name, boy?"
Joe catches on to Mike's plan.
Joe: My name.. is uh. Max. T.J. Max."
cop: Well, Mr. T.J. Max you's in a heap a trouble.
The cop moves to Bob.
Both Joe and Mike are praying that bob catches on because Bob
wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
cop: "And you, boy, gimme your name."
Bob looks around for a minute and says, "My name is Ken."
Mike and Joe give a huge sigh of relief.
Cop: Well, Ken, I'll be needin' your last name so's the judge
knows what to have written on your death certificate."
Bob: "Tuckey Fried Chicken."
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My partner and I pulled our police cruiser up behind a car
stopped on the shoulder of the highway. We got out and asked
the driver if we could help. No, he replied, there was no
trouble; he had just stopped to look at a map. When we turned
back, we noticed that his German shepherd had jumped in the
open passenger-side front window of our car.
"You may think there's no trouble," I smiled, "but your dog
obviously thinks he's done something wrong. He's in our patrol car."
He laughed. "He probably thinks you've come to take him to
work," he replied. "He's a retired police dog."
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Click
here: About.com Autos Videos
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1Y5&sdn=gardening&cdn=homegarden&tm=37&gps=3
0_9_1176_799&f=00&tt=37&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//video.about.com/autos.htm
Videos -- on how to prep your used car to sell, jump starting a dead battery,
changing a flat, and more!!
Click here: CARSTUCK.COM - Where cars get
stuck and you can watch
http://www.carstuck.com/
Welcome to the gathering place for people who like to see cars get helplessly
stuck, bogged, mired
or trapped in gooey mud, thick muck, slippery clay, deep snow, soft sand, or
slick ice! My preference
is for big, powerful, rear-wheel-drive cars and big trucks that are stuck in
slick mud. I have a
rear-wheel-drive pickup truck that I like to get stuck in the mud, too. When
it snows, I can't get up hills, and
I get stuck in icy parking lots or by the curb. Some people like sand, gravel,
trucks, buses, whatever,
but we all share one thing: we want to see those wheels get stuck!
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*submitted by*
BillieJo50
A local prostitute was brought before the court of Queen's Bench for solicitation.
The judge was surprised
to discover that the young woman was claiming not guilty when police had caught
her in the act.
The judge questioned her, expressing her surprise.
"I am celibate." the young woman declared.
"Celibate?" the judge asked, wide-eyed. "How can you claim you are celibate?"
"It is my business to be celibate. I sell a bit here, I sell a bit there . .
. "
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Note: Yeh, I didn't buy the whole "Continental Drift"
thing either. Scientists think they're so smart...
The Top 8 *Real* Reasons Iceland and
The
Philippines Aren't Near
Each Other
8> Iceland was missing a whole bunch of shoes back in the 80s...
7> I dunno... some kinda gravity thing? Where do you keep the beer?
6> Icelandic lobsters may taste delicious, but they can't speak
Tagalog for shit.
5> The South Pacific just isn't very Reykjaviky.
4> Well, God was skipping these really big rocks...
3> The Princess Cruise Lines 40-Day Reykjavik-to-Manila
excursion would otherwise be full of a lot more figure-eights.
2> Iceland's kinda shy. It might have dropped by for a neighborly
visit if it had just been *one* Philippine, but...
and the Number 1 *Real* Reason Iceland
and
The Philippines Aren't Near Each Other...
1> All of that land and ocean between them.
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Click
here: PC World - PC World Downloads - Netcraft Toolbar
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,64437/description.html?tk=nl_hsxdwn
Use Netcraft Toolbar to get a second line of defense for blocking phishing sites
that might have snuck by your browser's built-in protection.
Click
here: PC World - PC World Downloads - Kerio Personal Firewall
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,22932/description.html?tk=nl_hsxdwn
Build a barrier between your personal computer and the Internet.
Kerio Personal Firewall is designed to protect your PC against attacks from
the Internet as well as other
computers in the local network. The program controls all data flow in both directions--from
the Internet to your
computer and vice versa--and it can block all attempted communication, allowing
only what you choose
to permit. The firewall protects against information theft, Trojan horse applications,
spyware, denial of service
attacks, and unauthorized access from within the local network. Among other
things, the program is
suitable for notebook computers that travel in and out of the corporate network.
This program is free for home use.
Business and institutional customers are encouraged to download this software
for evaluation purposes. The
program will work as a full-edition program for 30 days, and then will become
the limited free edition version for home users.
Click here:
Advanced WindowsCare Pro
http://www.iobit.com/AdvancedWindowsCarePro/index.html
Advanced WindowsCare v2 Professional provides an Always-On and Automated, All-In-One
PC Care Service
with anti-spyware, privacy protection, performance tune-ups, and system clean.
With "Install It and Forget It" feature,
it works automatically and quietly in the background on your computer, constantly
keeps your
computer safe, error-free and running at top speed. I love this program!!
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GRILLED BACON AND ONION SKEWERS
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
2 large sweet onions, cut in wedges
8 thick hickory-smoked bacon slices, cut in half
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon molasses
long wooden skewers
DIRECTIONS:
Soak long wooden picks in water 30 minutes before threading
with onion wedges.
WRAP onion wedges with bacon; secure with long wooden picks.
Place in a large shallow dish. COMBINE sugar, vinegar, and
molasses; drizzle over onion wedges. Cover and chill 1 hour.
REMOVE onion wedges from marinade, reserving marinade. GRILL,
covered with grill lid, over medium-high heat (350 degrees
to 400 degrees) 20 minutes or until onion wedges are crisp-
tender, turning and basting occasionally with reserved marinade.
Yield: 4 Servings
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*submitted by*
BillieJo50
Q: You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?
A: Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything.
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Click here: Jars of Clay 2007 Spring
Good MonstersTour
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BY7
Multi-Platinum selling, multi-GRAMMY Award winning band Jars of Clay is preparing
to kick off a Spring Tour
throughout the United States and Canada, featuring special guests NEEDTOBREATHE
and Burlap to Cashmere.
In a press release, Jars of Clay’s Dan Haseltine was quoted as saying, “It was
great getting to play our new
songs on the road, but I think my favorite part about touring is being able
to reconnect with and make
new fans," about the band’s time on the road in the fall of 2006.
Click here: Top 10 Swedish Metal
Bands - Best Swedish Heavy Metal Bands - Top Swedish Metal Bands
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BY8
The country of Sweden has always been a hotbed of heavy metal, launching the
careers of some of the
most successful metal bands. There were so many amazing bands to choose from
that great groups such as
Bathory, Dissection, Hammerfall and many others didn't make the list. Here are
the top 10 metal bands that
hail from Sweden, as selected by the About Guide To Heavy Metal, Chad Bowar.
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A local call girl accidentally made two appointments for the same time,
but she managed to squeeze them both in.
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One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up
a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No
one raises their hand. The teacher says, "See it's long neck?
What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks "is it a giraffe?"
"Very good Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students
holds up thier hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What
animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says, "It's a zebra."
"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a
picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like
this?" Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's
something your mother calls your father."
Little Johnny shouts out, "IS IT A HORNY BASTARD?"
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Q. What did the blonde say while watching the porn movie?
A. "There I am!"
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The Vatican has decided that it is not a sin to kiss a nun, just don't get into
the habit.
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The Top 10 Disturbing Phrases from Summer Camp Brochures
10> BYOFAK (Bring Your Own First Aid Kit)
9> State-of-the-art sweatshop/playroom provides hours of
structured daily activity.
8> Senator Mark Foley says, "Thumbs up!"
7> Canoeing on beautiful, picturesque Love Canal...
6> ...expedited by the state's award-winning Amber Alert Program.
5> Providing memories and infections to last a lifetime!
4> A free puppy for every camper!
3> Our clothing-optional policy makes laundry a breeze!
2> Food service improved 10% over the cruddy meals you remember
from 1971.
and the Number 1 Disturbing
Phrase
from Summer Camp
Brochures...
1> Discount rates if your child volunteers to test the length of
the bungee jump rope.
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*submtted by*
BADVETTE87
Click
here: http://file.sugarqube.com/Cards/jblo_The_Worm_Game.swf?PL=L400x300&Action=Create
http://file.sugarqube.com/Cards/jblo_The_Worm_Game.swf?PL=L400x300&Action=Create
Obey!
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/821.html
Here
Clean Your Own
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/822.html
Here
Flashback
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/823.html
Here
Flowers
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/824.html
Here
Computer Sex
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/825.html
Here
Broken Middle Leg...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/030.htm
Here
Compulsive
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1106.html
Here!
So That's What Happens
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1107.html
Here!
Dangerous Mission
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1108.html
Here!
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Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied,
with regard
to featured products or services. Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control
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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making!
So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep
on rockin'
it's
a state of mind
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©1999
- 2007 - Deborah Austin - All rights reserved and held by Rockin' and
Rollin'
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