Editor:  DebsSweet
Graphic Editors:  Guysbabi, Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor:  Amanda260
Internet Security Editor:  DebsSweet








MY CONDOLENCES


To any of you who had family or friends who lost loved ones
at Virginia Tech.  I am sickened by this insane act
of hatred and cowardice.  Was it terrorism?  If so, I doubt we as a nation,
will ever be told.

If you can use a smile today then I hope you'll accept this posting as a way of
escaping the horrors of life in the world today.

Be careful when surfing the Internet.  I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in working
order as of this posting.  Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!

If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
to me, deb@debsnewsletter.com and your request will be handled promptly.

Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!

and don't  forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild ride! 










"Hello there, me again!! Just thought i'd drop you a wee line as I
haven't done so for a while. I still regularly get your excellent R&R,
and it still amazes me that you get so much content into it each week,
and quality content it has to be said"
afk.ark@tiscali.co.uk



v v v v v



"NASA made it official today: They are no longer going to recruit
their astronauts from eHarmony.com"



Jay Leno



v v v v v



Two eggs are boiling in a saucepan, one is male the other
female. The female turns to the male and says "Look, I've got
a crack!"

The male turns to her and says "No point telling me, I'm not
hard yet!



v v v v v



"People are saying that Scooter Libby is taking a bullet for Dick
Cheney, but I?m not sure about that. Because if Cheney wants someone
to take a bullet, he usually delivers it himself"


Craig Ferguson



v v v v v



Men are like lava lamps.

Fun to look at but not very bright



v v v v v






Click here: Adorable Pet Pictures
http://mysthillarium.com/anthology/adorable.htm

Leaving Your Cat(s) behind When You Travel

The biggest drawback to pet-sitters is that your pet is left
alone a great deal of the time, because most pet-sitters probably
can't spend much time giving your pet individual attention. If
your pet becomes ill or manages to escape, a pet-sitter may not
come back to notice before some time has passed. And, finally,
some people just aren't comfortable having people in their home
while they're gone.

One of the better solutions is to trade pet-sitting services.
Most animal lovers have friends who also have pets, and making a
deal with a friend to cover each other whenever you're gone can
work out very well. Trading care is a solution that's both
reassuring -- if you have friends who love animals as much as you
do, that is -- and inexpensive. All the arrangement requires is
your own time in return.

Cover your kitty's needs with Cats For Dummies, Edition
[ http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764552759.html?cid=etipBookLink ],
by Gina Spadafori and Paul Pion, DACVIM.



v v v v v



During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor
was giving the class instruction in unarmed self-defense.
After he presented a number of different situations in which they
might find themselves, he asked a student,
"What steps would you take if someone were coming at you
with a large, sharp knife?"

The student replied, "Big ones!"



v v v v v



"Here's something scary: Justice Department officials have determined
that the president of the United States has the legal authority
to have someone killed.

If you're the president, you can actually
legally order the killing of someone in the United States. Today,
Bill Clinton withdrew his support for Hillary. 


Jay Leno



v v v v v






Heating and Air Conditioning Filters


If you have heat pumps or air conditioning units, they probably have filters. You need to change the
filters often. If you don't, you'll pay much bigger electric bills, and you won't be as comfortable.  
Check them once a month, like when you pay a particular monthly bill. Make sure you check all the units. Larger houses
often have more than one A/C unit, and you need to make sure you check all of them. If you can see the dust building up
on the filter, it's time to change it. The filters are cheap as dirt, available at almost any grocery store,
drug store, hardware store, or discount store. 

There are several sizes available, and you need to make sure you get the right size (as in "20 x 24 x 1").
The air needs to hit the fuzzy side first, not the side with the cardboard showing. You don't need to turn the 
unit off to change the filter. It may blow on you a little, but it won't hurt you. 



v v v v v



The attractive man I met last night insists he just
wants to be friends." the girl told her maiden Aunt.
"Now I know what to do with a lover, but, what the
heck do I do with a 'friend'?"

The wise old lady smiled and said, "The same as with
your lover, dearie, only not quite so often."  



v v v v v



Has your girlfriend/wife put on a little weight over the  
Xmas period? If so, encourage her to walk 3 miles in the  
morning and then 3 miles again in the evening.  

By the end of the week the cow will be 42 miles away.  



v v v v v



I'm not so good at advice...........can I interest you in a sarcastic remark?



v v v v v








v v v v v



Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling
$100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?

As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said
to the banker, "I have just one question for you.

Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"



v v v v v



A young lady, visiting the London zoo, asked the keeper where the
monkeys were.

Keeper: "They're in the back, having sex."

Young lady: "Would they come out for some peanuts?"

Keeper: "I don't know. Would you?



v v v v v







Hybrid and Non-Hybrid Vegetable Seeds


When you order vegetable seeds, you may have the choice between hybrids and non-hybrids. Hybrid vegetable
seeds tend to be more reliable because they have been produced in conditions that are controlled. This means
they may be more resistant to diseases and more productive. Non-hyrbids are also known as “open-pollinated”
varieties or heirloom varieties. Of the two, hybrids are thought to be the more trustworthy. However, there
are gardeners who do insist on only using non-hybrids year after year.



v v v v v



"People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the
worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn't look any better."



Margot Black



v v v v v




Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 10 (1 to screw it and 9 to form the support group
   to justify why there were no sexual implications in
   the act of screwing).




v v v v v



Off course you have heard about two gay Irishmen......
There was Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick fits Michael !!!



v v v v v



OAKHILL POTATOES  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

INGREDIENTS:  
1 1/2 pounds (4 to 5 medium) potatoes, peeled & diced  
1/2 teaspoon salt  
3 tablespoons butter or margarine  
2 tablespoons flour  
  salt and pepper  
2 cups milk  
2 hard-boiled eggs, peeled & sliced  
2 tablespoons chopped onion  
3 tablespoons dried bread crumbs  

DIRECTIONS:  
Place potatoes in large saucepan. Cover with cold water.  
Add 1/2 teaspoon salt and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to  
low and cook 20 to 25 minutes or until potatoes are tender.  
drain; reserve. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in medium  
saucepan. Add flour, salt, and pepper; cook until bubbly.  
Add milk; stir well. Cook, stirring constantly, until  
thickened. Combine potatoes, hard-boiled eggs, onion,  
salt, and pepper in lightly greased 1 1/2 quart casserole.  
Add white sauce; blend lightly with spatula. Melt remaining  
1 tablespoon butter. Add bread crumbs; mix well. Sprinkle  
buttered crumbs over casserole. Bake at 350 degrees for  
30 minutes. Serve hot  

YIELD: 4 servings  
Category: Potatoes, Side Dishes  



v v v v v



I took a bunch of pictures while on my vacation in Canada. Due to
the exchange rate, however, they're each only worth about 700 words.



v v v v v









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*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net



    Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side.
She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face.

      Her praying roused him from his slumber.  He looked up and his pale lips began
to move slightly.  "Becky, my darling," he whispered.

      "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."  

      He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."  

      "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "Everything's all right, go to sleep." 

      "No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother......"

      "I know, Sweetheart," Becky murmured gently . "Let the poison work."....



v v v v v



*submitted by*
lg1@tampabay.rr.com


  A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by a young new
  doctor.   After about four minutes in the examination room, the doctor
  told her she was pregnant. 

  She burst out screaming and ran down the hallway.An older doctor stopped
  her and asked what the problem was. 

  She told him her story.  After listening, he had her sit down and relax
  in another room.  

  The doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor and demanded,
  "What's the matter with you?  Mrs. Smith is 59 years old, she has four
  grown children, seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?

  "The new doctor continued writing on his clipboard and without looking
  up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"



v v v v v





AUTOFORMAT is a handy  feature in Microsoft Word and WordPerfect.  You type in a URL or email
address and it automatically creates a huperlink.  Sometimes, when that's  not what you want to do, it becomes
a nuisance.  But you can easily disable  the feature.  In Word, go to Format|AutoFormat|Options.  Under 
Replace, uncheck "Internet and network paths with hyperlinks" and OK.  If  you are not currently working on
a document that you wish to remove the  autoformat feature, clikck on Cancel.  In WordPerfect, the routine is 
Tools|QuickConnect|Speedlinks and uncheck "Format words as hyperlinks when you  type them. 
Of course, just reverse this process if you want the autoformat  to resume.

neatnetricks.com



v v v v v



*submitted by*
GuffieBaby



A young farm lad from North Iowa
goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has
foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.

Then he
gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders
that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here
at Iowa State that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing,"
his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down
here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father
sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs
out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you
just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that
they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"


Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will
find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.


When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday
morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room
kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal,
like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still
messin' around with that little redhead who lives in town?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

(The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.......)



v v v v v



The Top 7 Holiday Specials for Tax Day


7> The Nightmare Before Bankruptcy

6> Frosty the Auditor

5> The Weasely Li'l Bookkeeper Who Snitched

4> How the IRS Repossessed Last Christmas

3> The Year Without an Evasion-Convicted Santa Claus

2> You're an H&R Blockhead, Charlie Brown!


    and the Number 1 Holiday Special for Tax Day...


1> Miracle on Form 1040, Line 34



v v v v v






v v v v v



The 'Rules of the South' 


1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight;  it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow
you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10
goes east and west, I-75  & 95 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being  friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your
hand. You  better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish and crawfish. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday
held the closest Saturday to the first of  November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the
Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:  meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices:
salt, pepper, and ketchup!  Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati
call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it  better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane"
into my house,  she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

16.  Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. they come outta there with
an education plus a love for God and  country, and they still wave at everybody
when they come home for the holidays. 

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. The south is the greatest!! If you are from the south you are part of the best people in the USA!!



v v v v v




Click here: Michael Breus: 12 Tips for a Better Night's Sleep - AOL Coaches
http://coaches.aol.com/wellness/michael-breus/tips-for-sleep
Michael Breus, AOL Wellness Coach and author of the book 'Good Night: The Sleep Doctor's 4-Week
Program to Better Sleep and Better Health,' says a more restful night of sleep will give
you more energy, help you lose weight and make you look younger.

*submitted by*
pavanco1@earthlink.net
Click here: The Healthy Refrigerator - Open the door to a healthy heart.
http://www.healthyfridge.org/
As cholesterol levels increase, most people are unaware that heart disease begins in childhood.
This site is dedicated to providing heart-healthy tips for the entire family. Remember,
an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Click here: Sex During Menopause: A Trying Affair -- ThirdAge
http://www.thirdage.com/news/articles/ALT02/06/11/15/ALT02061115-01.html
Having trouble with sex after menopause?
   

   
v v v v v



*submitted by*
oldwild@juno.com



A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked
robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.

Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in
because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy
daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in
tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother.

"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother told her
not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay," said the
Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the cat."



v v v v v



*submitted by*
oldwild@juno.com


Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Q. Why did God give men penises ?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for ?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".



v v v v v



The Top 9 Differences if Shakespeare Had Been a Snake


9> Every play, every act, every scene: someone eats a mouse.

8> His plays include "Asp You Like It", "Coilus and Cressida",
    "The Merchant of Venom", "The Tasting of the Shrew" and "Julius Squeezer".

7> Lady MacBeth no longer needs to worry about washing her hands.

6> Romeo? A complete asp. Juliet? A real charmer.

5> "I come to swallow Caesar, not to praise him."

4> Cleopatra's asp would've gotten top billing.

3> "To strike, or not to strike, that is the question."

2> Shylock's pound of flesh is paid in sloughed-off skins.


    and the Number 1 Difference if Shakespeare Had Been a Snake...


1> "Some legs! Some legs! My kingdom for some legs!"



v v v v v







Click here: The Human Slingshot! - A Funny Movie From Humor Haus!
http://www.humorhaus.com/hh915.htm
whoa!!

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com
Click here: Punderful
http://www.punderful.com/

Click here: Stick To Business Class! - More Humor from Tiggy's Rib-Ticklers!
http://www.tiggysribticklers.com/tig1551.htm



v v v v v



My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
troopers and a dog.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
WMBAAS



In  a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if  we drink 1 liter of
water each day, at the end of the year we would have  absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli)
bacteria found in  feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of  Poop.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol
has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: 

Water = Poop 
Wine = Health 

Therefore,  it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.


(There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service)



v v v v v







Click here: Dads Divorce - Essential Information and Resources about
Divorce, Custody and Child Support for Divorcing Fathers
http://www.dadsdivorce.com/
An excellent resource for fathers going through and surviving divorce.

Click here: Divorce and Fatherhood Statistics
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/stats.php
From FRTC, facts and figures about divorce and who gets what.

Click here: First Aid Kit For Divorcing Dads
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/firstaid.htm
YOU'VE BEEN HURT. If you don't act now, the wound may get worse. For most men, it's the first
time such a massive shock has hit them -- they're off balance, reeling. Those persons who have hurt them
are probably preparing to take advantage of this imbalance to get in another shot.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
BADVETTE87



A man walks into a café with an ostrich. The waitress asks
them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and
turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That 
will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries and a coke."  The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

      This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The
usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a 
steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That  will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out  of his pocket and places it
on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, 
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your
pocket every  time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I  was cleaning the attic and 
found an old lamp. When I rubbed  it,
a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was  that if I
ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand  in my pocket and
the right amount of money would always be  there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but  you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"  "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or
a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the  man.

The  waitress asks, "What's with the  ostrich?"

   The  man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall 
chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."



v v v v v







Click here: A Makeup Brush for Every Job -- ThirdAge
http://www.thirdage.com/cc/?hash=1125558325582
Lots of brushes for lots of jobs -- see which brushes you need

Click here: Dummies::Women in the Sciences
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTip/id-1252.html
In recognition of the important roles women have played in the advancement of
science, here are a few inspirational women worth noticing.

Click here: Are You a Slacker Mom?
http://www.areyouaslackermom.com/3/?&CCID=20070034203096125&QTR=ZZf20050921151052Za20070034Zg172Z
w56Zm0Zc203096125Zs3723ZZ&CLK=172070226013531183&&ac=003&ai=687CC86637D230ACD80C58FCA
3FB8566909149FA&ad=629445852&sp=specials.about.com&fb=children%20healthy%20eating
Every woman has her own parenting style - what's your parenting style? Take this fun quiz to
discover if you are a slacker mom, and learn some fun tips on motherhood.

   


v v v v v



*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net



The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor
is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no fulltime employment, which you explain
by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it" says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye. "The auditor thinks a moment and says,
"No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye. "The auditor can tell Ralph
isn't blind, so he takes the bet.  Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness.
He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand
on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side,
and never get a drop anywhere in between.

"The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage
that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although
he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney
moans and puts his head in his hands."Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over
an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."



v v v v v



NOTE FROM CHRIS WHITE - TOPFIVE.COM

If you're like me, the last thing you want to
do while you're elbows-deep in moo-shu is
decipher the mystical stylings from within
dessert. Next time you head out for Chinese,
take this handy cheat-sheet along provided by
your good friends at Top5 WTF. And thank YOU!


   The Top 8 Unpackings of What Your Fortune Cookie REALLY Means


8> You are possessed of great charm and charisma: We have a
    serious quality control problem here at the fortune cookie factory.

7> A small package may conceal a pearl of great joy: You're hung
    like a hamster.

6> You will come into money: Your brakes will fail when
    approaching the drive-up teller.

5> Beware the sudden silence: You will soon be overpowered and
    bludgeoned to death by a troupe of rogue mimes.

4> The beginning of wisdom is to desire it: Since you're looking
    for life guidance from a complimentary snack, you're pretty
    much screwed.

3> To find the truth, look beyond deceptive appearances: This
    cookie was manufactured in Trenton, New Jersey, and is about
    as Chinese as Elvis Presley.

2> You will be successful in your future endeavors: You will
    manage to open your new bag of fried pork rinds without
    injuring yourself and will usually put your pants on correctly
    on the first try.


                and the Number 1 Unpacking of What
                Your Fortune Cookie REALLY Means...


1> Searching the inner self requires a prepared mind: Colonoscopy
    without a strong sedative is nearly impossible.



v v v v v

*submitted by*
DeVulcano
Click here: Love Is ...
http://www.spiritisup.com/loveisrms.html

Click here: A Jar Full Of Love
http://asandboxgreeting.com/ajarfulloflove.html

*submitted by*
ENGLANDWINSAGAIN
Click here: Fool
http://www.geocities.com/dbannie17mb/Fool.html



v v v v v



"Funny thing in the news today. There was a man in Germany who was
arrested for defecating in a bank. Apparently, he didn't fill out
a deposit slip"



Craig Ferguson



v v v v v



ASPARAGUS & CHICKEN LASAGNA  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

INGREDIENTS:  
4 lbs. Fresh asparagus  
1 lb. Butter  
2 C. Flour  
2 C. Chablis  
4 tsp. Lemon Zest  
2 C. Half and Half  
2 C. Milk  
16 oz. Ricotta Cheese  
8 whole Eggs  
1 box Lasagna Noodles  
9 boneless skinless Chicken Breasts, cooked  
1 lb. Mozzarella Cheese  
1 lb. Parmesan Cheese  

DIRECTIONS:  
Roast asparagus in a small amount of olive oil in oven at  
400 degrees for 15 minutes. Make the white sauce with the  
next six ingredients. Mix eggs, and Ricotta cheese together,  
and add this to the white sauce. Cook lasagna noodles as  
directed on package, and coat the noodles with sauce, and  
lay in a 9 by 13 inch casserole that has been coated with  
nonstick spray. Chop chicken and asparagus, spread over the  
noodles, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. One layer of noodles  
and repeat. Top with noodles, sauce and mozzarella cheese.  
Cook at 400 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve after casserole  
has sat for 15 minutes. Toping of red sauce and sprinkle  
with Parmesan cheese.  

MARINARA SAUCE:  
1 large onion, chopped fine  
1 carrot, grated  
1/2 C. Butter  
5 ripe Roma Tomatoes, quartered  
1/4 C. chopped Fresh Basil Leaves  
1 tsp. Salt  
1 tsp. Black Pepper  
1 to 1 tsp. Sugar  
2 C. Chicken Stock  

SAUCE DIRECTIONS:  
In a quart sauce pan saute onions and carrots in butter.  
Stir in tomatoes, basil, salt, pepper, and sugar. Cover and  
simmer for 15 minutes. Puree in blender until smooth. Return  
to saucepan, and chicken stock and reheat.  

Category: Main Dishes, Chicken, Pasta  



v v v v v



Be Optimistic. all the people you hate are going to eventually die



v v v v v







Click here: Removing a Program
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BMP
Sure, that shareware gin rummy game you downloaded back in 2004 seemed like fun at the time,
but you haven't played it since before Britney and K-Fed got hitched. Is it really fair for a forgotten game to
last longer than Federline's 15-minutes of fame? Windows Guide Michelle Castle explains
how to purge unwanted programs from your system.

Click here: Color Quality Setting - How to Adjust the Color Quality Setting
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5BMQ
Are your reds looking pink? Are your greens looking brown? Can't tell beige from cream? PC
Support Guide Tim Fisher explains how to adjust your color quality settings in Windows   
   

   
v v v v v



After Chelsea returned from a date, Hillary asked her if she had a good time.

Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love.

Hillary said, "You didn't have sex, did you?"

Chelsea said, "Not according to Dad."



v v v v v



A minister just had all of his teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.  The first Sunday, he only
preached 10 minutes.  The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.

But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.  The first Sunday, my gums were
so sore it hurt to talk.  The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.  The third Sunday, I accidentally
grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking.



v v v v v



SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.



v v v v v









v v v v v



The newly wed seniors were having sexual problems. The counselor thought
it might be due to the fact that the woman was taller. He suggested
special shoes with build-up heels to help the man's ego.

The next month, he asked if things had improved in their love life with
the shoes.

"Well yes..." the woman replied, "but those shoes get the sheets so dirty."



v v v v v



husband and wife walked up to view the body of his mother-in-law at the funeral.  As he began to weep,
his wife slapped him and said: “Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway!”

       The husband replied, “I know.  I thought I saw her move!!”



v v v v v





*submitted by*
BillieJo50
Click here: My Friend Forever, by Betty Jo Mings
http://www.smilesr4u.com/my_forever_friend.htm

*submitted by*
starangel513@msn.com
Click here: Especially For You, Friendship Ecard
http://www.ecards-gallery.com/ecards/everyday/friendship/especially-for-you/10147/0/0/1206/2228/

*submitted by*
wmccarte@bigpond.net.au
Click here: http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/dearfriends/dearfriends.htm
http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/dearfriends/dearfriends.htm



v v v v v



Being a bus driver is a great job.

I pick up women, they give me money,
and eventually everyone gets off.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com



"Women on Haircuts"


Woman 1: Oh! That haircut is so cute!

Woman 2: You think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the mirror. I
mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: Oh, no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like
that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this
stuff I think.

Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could
easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I
was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent
my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to
take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would kill for your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms -
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to
fit me so much easier. (etc...)


"Men on Haircuts"


Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
WMBAAS



A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news.
You have cancer, and you'd best put your  affairs in order. The woman was shocked, but managed to
compose herself and walk  into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and
we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually  approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. 'I have been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends gave the woman their condolences, and they had a couple of more martinis.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Mom, I thought you said 
you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.'

The woman said, 'I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone!



v v v v v









v v v v v



*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net



  How Men Think



  A woman was in a coma, she had been in it for months. Nurses were in
  her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private
  area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when
  she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was a small,
  recognizable movement. They went to her husband and explained what
  happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral
sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

  The husband was skeptical, but they assured that they'd close the curtains for
  privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few
minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.

  The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried.

  The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".



v v v v v



In the latest count, there are now 25 politicians running for president -- and 15 of them also claim
to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.



v v v v v






The Complete Brake Job
lifetips.com


As the saying goes, you have a lot riding on your brakes. That's why you should make sure that your next brake
job covers the entire braking system from the master cylinder to the
calipers and wheel cylinders. Here's what you do:

-Check the level and condition of the brake fluid. Changing the fluid is recommended to get rid of moisture contamination
-Bleed all the brake lines to remove trapped air -Inspect the entire system for leaks (hoses, lines, wheel cylinders, calipers and master cylinder)
-Inspect all the mechanical and hydraulic components in both the front and rear brakes (calipers, caliper hardware, wheel cylinder, drum hardware and parking brake)
-Replace the front and rear linings (if necessary)
-Inspect and resurface or replace rotors and drums as needed
-Inspect wheel bearings (repacking on older vehicles)
-Lubricate all critical areas such as caliper slides and shoe pads with moly-based high temperature brake grease
-Check and adjust the parking brake
-Check the ABS system (no warning light or trouble codes)
-Make sure the pedal is firm and the brakes operate properly, quietly and provide safe stopping power once the job is complete.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
WaltWiso


A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to 
file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a  few questions."

He gets her name, address, social security
number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a whore," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, No, No, that won't
work. Let's try to rephrase that"

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again"

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last  year"

"Chicken Farmer it is."



v v v v v








v v v v v



The Top 16 Programs on Spike TV


16> Beer Factor

15> Trading Spouses

14> SCI: Strip Club Investigation

13> That '70s Chauvinism

12> 6 Minutes

11> Martha Stewart's Living... IN HELL!

10> Iron Chef Boyardee's Bachelor Cooking Smackdown

9> Hookers Say the Darndest Things!

8> Everybody Loves Raymond in a Healthy, Heterosexual, Manly Way

7> Xtreme Stooges

6> Boffing the Vampire Slayer

5> Survivor: Fabric Store

4> Who Wants to Beat Up a Figure Skater?

3> Twin Peaks -- I Kid You Not!

2> Judging Amy's


    and Topfive.com's Number 1 Program on Spike TV...


1> Farts: The Ken Burns Documentary



v v v v v






Click here: ARP++ - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
http://www.worldstart.com/tips/tips.php/3026
This site says:
  I’m just going to come out and say it, “Everyone can benefit from this week's download." Let’s put it this way, who reading
this, has ever had a program uninstall or has had their system go bad? For example, has anyone tried to uninstall Norton
AntiVirus lately? That can eat up a better part of your day, only to find that it’s left orphaned bits of itself all over your system.
It also leaves behind some service that wants to run at the startup every time your system boots. I need to calm
down before I work myself into a tizzy. Whew! I apologize, but these ghost remains of applications chap my lid and I
hear about it all day from customers having this same problem. Of course, they don’t know what to do about it,
because it's so confusing and frustrating! Most people, I find have one of three options, with
stubborn seemingly unremovable programs

Click here: CatSpy - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
http://www.catspy.de/index.php?id=6&no_cache=1&file=3&uid=17
Basically, with CatSpy, you can turn any Web cam into a surveillance camera that will sit idle until motion is detected,
where by, it will spring to life and start recording (per your settings). When the capture/surveillance is finished, CatSpy
automatically saves all the video to a folder in your My Documents, My Videos folder for any later use. You're not
limited to one camera either. Say you have two or three cameras lying around. Well, just hook them up and CatSpy will
take care of all of them for you. All you have to do is basically open up another surveillance window, point to the new
camera;, make the changes to the settings if you need to and you're good to go. You can connect as many cameras
up to your PC as you want, but this is something that possibly will affect the performance of your computer and it may cause
problems. This is especially true in older, less powerful computers, so do keep that in mind.

Click here: Personal Finance Manager - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
http://www.worldstart.com/tips/tips.php/2713
Here are a few of the features PFM has to offer:
In depth bank account management with support for several accounts.
Credit card management database, which can be used to schedule payments, choose accounts in which to
be used for payment, along with keeping track of all your payments and debts.
You can input and manage your investments easily.
You can enter several accounts with password protection, so others can use the
program on the same system while keeping the process secure.
You can use PFM to set appointments with the inclusion of a number of different details.
Can generate reports on a number of different aspects of the accumulated data, such as Revenues vs.
Expenses, Transaction Diary, Type of Transaction, Monthly Transaction by Type, etc.   >>

   

v v v v v



*submitted by*
BADVETTE87



The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed"
to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners
have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British
issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
"Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate."
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing
the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level
from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and
Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat
they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms
so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look
at the old Spanish navy.



v v v v v






Click here: World Music - Discover World Music - Learn More About World and Ethnic Music
http://worldmusic.about.com/
Oh, Fiddlesticks!" was one of my grandmother's favorite phrases, she used it as something of an expletive,
illuminating such unfortunate situations as spilled milk or burned toast. As a child I wasn't entirely sure what it meant.
I remember envisioning a fiddle shattered into tiny splinters. Later in life, I discovered that the word itself comes
from an old American musical tradition where one person would play a fiddle, and another would beat on it with thin
wooden sticks. It's a clever way to get twice as much sound out of one small instrument, and it
became popular in early rural communities throughout the United States.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com



TIPSY POTATO SOUP

INGREDIENTS:  
2 TB butter  
1 Tsp.garlic  
1 bunch green onions, chopped  
1 stalk diced celery  
6 cups boiled diced potatoes  
32 ounces beer  
1 TB sugar  
1 TB chicken boullion  
64 oz. chicken stock  
Few TB flour to thicken  
4 cups cream  
salt and pepper to taste  

DIRECTIONS:  
Saute garlic in butter for 1 minute, add vegetables and  
saute for 3-5 minutes or until tender. Add potatoes and  
beer and bring to a boil. Mash potatoes against sides of  
pot. Add sugar, stock, boullion and salt and pepper. Add  
flour and stir until thickened. Add cream, stir and serve.  

YIELD: 10 Servings  



v v v v v

 

*submitted by*
oldwild@juno.com



Joe met a nice girl who worked for at carnival. They quickly became
attracted to each other, and she invited Joe to her house.

When he got there, he noticed a few strange things. First, he noticed that her
hallway was filled with those "funny mirrors" that make you look tall and
skinny, or short and fat.

He also noticed that her bedroom had many shelves of fluffy toys.
That was the last thing he noticed before she threw him on the bed. He
screwed the ever-lovin' daylights out of her, and when he was done, he asked,
"So,...  how was it?"

And she said, "You can have anything from the bottom shelf, unless you want to
try again and win something from the middle shelf!"  



v v v v v



*submitted by*
BADVETTE87


MEMO


In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T., please
see  your supervisors. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and your supervisors are especially skilled at seeing that
you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't know S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to
EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since your  supervisors
took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T.  anymore, as they are full of S.H.I.T.
already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching
others. We can add your name to  our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

For employees who are intending  to purse a career in management and
consultancy, we will refer you to the  department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how
to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.

If your have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING  (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).


Thank you.

BOSS IN GENERAL  SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)



v v v v v

Deep Blue Sea Cocktail
1 oz Gin
1 oz Dry Vermouth
1/4 tsp Anisette
1 dash Orange Bitters
Ice Stir with ice and strain into a glass.
Top with an orange wedge.    
   

Nightmare
1 1/2 oz Gin
1/2 oz Madeira
1/2 oz Cherry-flavored Brandy
1 tsp Orange Juice
Ice Shake with ice and strain into a glass.   
   


v v v v v



Moskowitz met Finklestein on the street one day and said, "Finkelstein,
have I got a bargain for you! An elephant!
A whole living elephant for just one hundred dollars."

Finklestein said, "Are you crazy?
What do I want with an elephant?"

"It's a beautiful elephant," continues Moskowitz, "all grey, ten
feet tall, complete with a trunk."

"But I have nothing to feed it on," cried Finkelstein.
"I live in a three-room apartment. I have no place to put it in."

But Moskowitz went on: "Two beautiful tusks, maybe two feet long.
It is a magnificent beast. They don't make them like that anymore."

"Moskowitz," said Finkelstein, almost screaming, "I have a three-room
walk-up apartment on the fifth floor. Where will I keep an elephant?"

"You are a hard man, Finkelstein," said Moskowitz. "I will tell you what,
I will throw in a second whole elephant for only $50 extra."

Finkelstein smiled and said,  "Now you are talking!"



v v v v v



"The nation's largest Powerball lottery was earlier tonight in
Times Square . . . over $350 million was the prize. So many people
were waiting for it in Times Square. There hasn't been that many
people trying to get lucky in Times Square since the hookers left"



Craig Ferguson



v v v v v



One DNA to another DNA:  "these genes are killing me"



v v v v v






Click here: Unabomber Pipe Dreaming - March 8, 2007
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0308071tedk1.html
Check out the crrrrazy stuff found at Kaczynski's house when they arrested him years ago

*submitted by*
pavanco1@earthlink.net
Click here: Quiz
http://www.dr-joe.net/quiz.html
Shocking how accurate it is

*submitted by*
DeVulcano
Click here: Message
http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/blessed.htm
What a nice site

Click here: Block Posters - Create large wall posters from any image for free!
http://www.blockposters.com/
Upload an image from your computr and choose how many sheets
wide you would like your poster to be once it is printed!

Click here: Jim Rapoza Picks the Top Web Technologies of All Time -
http://www.eweek.com/slideshow_viewer/0,1205,l=&s=26705&a=202626&
po=1,00.asp?p=y?kc=EWEWEMNL030807EP35A
Top web technologies of all time!

Click here: FastWeb: Scholarships, Financial Aid and Colleges
http://fastweb.com/
The most complete source of local scholarships, national and collegiate-specific scholarships -- Search and
compare detailed college prfiles including college scholarships.  Find part time job openings near
your home or school.  Learn tips for success in your career.

Click here: Design215 megapixels comparison and maximum print size charts
http://www.design215.com/toolbox/megapixels.php
If there is one combination that trips up many people, it is resolution and megapixels. Many people equate the number of megapixels with a camera’s resolution.
Of course, manufacturers contribute to the confusion. They lead you to believe that megapixels are the single most important aspect when it comes to judging cameras.
That said, there is a correlation between megapixels and resolution. The more megapixels a camera has, the larger you can make prints – and still get a decent resolution.
Of course, you probably wouldn’t know offhand how big you can go with an 8-megapixel camera. That’s where today’s Cool Site comes in.
It’s a chart that shows you how big you should make your prints. This is handy for anyone buying a camera. If you already
own a camera, it is still handy. So bookmark it for future reference!  kimkomando.com

Click here: Joe's Goals - Free Online Habit Tracker
http://www.joesgoals.com/
Joe's Goals is a simple yet powerful tool to make tracking your goals the easiest part of accomplishing them.
Use the simple single page interface to setup daily goals and track them with just a click. Watch your daily score to gage
your success and use negative goals (or vices) to confront and overcome bad habits that finally need to get the boot. Share
your success with your friends and family or post your personal score badge to your blog or MySpace page.
Add as many Goals as you want and update them all from a single interface.

Rota Board: account - login
http://rotaboard.com/account/login
Simple, Elegant, Organised (and Painless). Organising your employees working schedules shouldn't
be a burden. That's why we've created Rotaboard – our FREE online rota management service.
With Rotaboard, it's easy to manage and keep track of all your staff's working schedules.

Click here: The BonkEnc Project - BonkEnc Home
http://www.bonkenc.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1&lang=en
There are many advantages to digital music. First, it eliminates the clutter of CDs, cassettes and records.
Also, it is easier to keep music organized when it’s on your computer. You don’t have to search your house or car for a misplaced disc.
But, there are drawbacks to digital music. And the biggest complaint I hear is about music player compatibility. Not all players will play all music files.
That’s where BonkEnc comes in handy. It will convert your music files between a variety of formats. I just love this program!
Keep in mind that BonkEnc won’t work with copy-protected files. And read the instructions carefully. If you want to
create MP3 files, you’ll need the optional Blade encoder. kimkomando,com - maybe this should have gone
in the music section  LOL  o well
   


v v v v v
   


Somebody sees an image of the Virgin Mary on a cookie
sheet and the news media show up, a shrine is built
and people come from hundreds of miles away to worship there.

I, on the other hand, post some virgin
pictures on the Internet, and the media
show up to cover my arrest. Go figure.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
lg1@tampabay.rr.com


  Sitting in a bar in Florida are a Mexican, an Arab and a lovely, young Florida woman, all enjoying a cool beer on a
warm afternoon.  The Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots
the glass to pieces.  He says, "In Mexico, we make our glasses so cheap we
don't need to drink from the same glass twice."

  An Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and
shoots the glass to pieces.  He says, "In Iraq, we have so much sand to make glasses that
we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

   The Florida girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air, pulls out her
gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi and catches her glass as it falls.  She smiles sweetly and says,
"In America, we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."

  God Bless America !



v v v v v



*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com



Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with
my wife and me. He got restless, so my wife handed him
a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time
the speaker said the word "and." After a while, he grew
bored, and I asked,
"Would you like to listen for a different word?"

"Yes," he whispered. "I'd like to listen for 'Amen'."



v v v v v



by deb


Fireflies
by David Morrell


The best-selling author describes his teenage son's valiant but unsuccessful battle against bone cancer
and relates the mystical and miraculous events that led the author to an understanding
of the undying quality of the human spirit.

This was a sad book at you can imagine --- and at times I wondered about the validity of parts of
it and then at the end, it answers all questions.  I won't blow it for you by telling you here.

It's difficult to recommend this book -- so I won't!



v v v v v



*submitted by*
WMBAAS



I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used
to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up
and rekindling a little of that "magic".

"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now.
I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"



...............So I told her to  fuck off.!



v v v v v



*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net


A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was
afraid there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well-known
Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. 

          "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again, the woman did as she
was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

         As she did so, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed 
Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates. 

         " The woman asked anxio usly, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when
your face look Ed Zachary like your ass."  



v v v v v







v v v v v



The Top 15 Ways We Like Our Coffee


15> I like my Irish coffee like I like my women:
    loaded with whiskey.

14> I like my coffee like I like my strippers:
    scalding hot and in his lap.

13> I like my coffee like a major league catcher likes his privates:
    in a large, strong cup.

12> I like my coffee like I like my recently deceased Chihuahua:
    stored in the freezer to lock in freshness.

11> I like my coffee like a baby likes fruit juice in a bottle:
    sweet, spill-resistant and something to occupy the mouth when
    no naked breasts are around.

10> I like my coffee like I like my surrealist humor: giraffe.

9> I like my coffee like I like my one-night stands:
    stale, bitter, smoking like a chimney, with a butt-ugly mug.

8> I like my coffee like I like my women: hot. 
    Of course, the difference is I can actually *get* hot coffee.

7> I like my coffee like I like my meddlesome neighbors:
    ground into tiny bits.

6> I like my coffee like divorce attorneys like their clients:
    very rich, very bitter and with lots of grounds.

5> I like my coffee like I like my sex:
    cheap and frothy, from a girl in a green apron.

4> I like my coffee like Jacko likes his playmates:
    sweet, aged eight years and covered with half-and-half.

3> I like my coffee like I like my flatulence:
    made from the finest beans, rich enough to smell from across
    the room and satisfying to the last "Ah-h-h-h!"

2> I like my coffee like I like my Iraqi information minister:
    chock full o' nuts.


    and Topfive.com's Number 1 Way We Like Our Coffee...


1> I like my coffee like Maria Myerson, a girl in fifth grade
    who gave every boy except me a Valentine, even though I had
    written her love poems in my own blood every day -- ruining
    me for life, that ungrateful skank prosti-- um, sorry...
    cold, with a bitter aftertaste.



v v v v v






Click here: » Got data? Protect it. | Threat Chaos | ZDNet.com
http://blogs.zdnet.com/threatchaos/?p=442
Are you neglecting security?  Lots of us do. 


Trojan Flooder
Erin - worldstart.com

If you're like me, when you see the word "Trojan," you probably panic. Am I right? Of course, a Trojan is pretty
much only associated with a virus (or at least some sort of threat) in today's computer world. They are basically
completely destructive programs that disguise themselves as very helpful and useful programs. But, in all actuality,
they contain hidden code which allows them to do harmful things to one's computer.

In the past month, a new Trojan has made its way onto the scene. It is called the Trojan Flooder.AKE and it has
been found to mostly affect AVG users. There are a couple of symptoms with this that you can look out for. First
of all, an alert box will pop up on your screen, telling you about a new threat found on your computer and that you should "heal it
now." If you do that, your computer will restart, but that same message will still be there. Your computer will then be stuck in a loop of "flooding."
As I said earlier, this mainly only affects AVG users, so if you use AVG for your antivirus program, be on the look out for
this. It may pop up on your screen at any time, so just ignore it and you should be just fine. Always stay safe!



v v v v v



CREAMY ASPARAGUS SOUP  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

INGREDIENTS:  
2 pounds thin, young asparagus  
2 cups low-salt chicken broth (canned is fine)  
2 cups heavy cream  
1/4 cup chopped chervil or parsley, finely chopped  
salt and pepper to taste  
nutmeg  

DIRECTIONS:  
Snap tough ends off the asparagus and cook the spears in  
boiling salted water until tender, about 5 minutes. Drain.  
Reserve four tips for garnish and purée the remaining  
asparagus in a food processor. Strain. Heat the asparagus  
puree over low heat. Add stock, cream and chervil or parsley.  
Heat and season with salt, white pepper and nutmeg. Ladle  
into bowls and top each serving with a reserved asparagus tip.  

Yield: 4 Servings  



v v v v v



*submitted by*
BADVETTE87




The Difference Between Us and Them


One day a  florist goes to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut he asked about his  bill and the barber replies, "I cannot
accept money from you.  I'm  doing community service this week." The florist
is pleased and leaves  the shop.

Next morning when the barber goes to open his shop,  there is a thank you
card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his  door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the
barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you.  I'm doing community
service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you card and a
dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later a College Professor comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay
his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you.  I'm
doing community service this week." The Professor is very happy and leaves
the shop.

Next morning when the barber  goes to open, there is a thank you card and a
dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming
More Successful."

Then a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill
the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week."  The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
Citizens and Congressmen.



v v v v v






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v v v v v



Researchers have found that as whales feed, they send out calls to let each
other know where they are, each group employing a different sound, and that
females select mates based on size, which they estimate by evaluating males' songs.

What other linguistic secrets are those wily whales hiding?


The Top 8 Little Known Facts About Whale Language


8> It may take a few hours to get there, but the end of "There
    Once Was a Whale From Nantucket" is definitely worth the wait.

7> Most of what you hear during "Star Trek IV" is a whale-speak    fart joke.

6> Particularly stubborn barnacles are known as "ahabs".

5> Just within the last few decades, "whale song" has
    increasingly been replaced with atonal rhyming vocalizations
    and deadly rivalries have sprung up between whales off the
    West Coast and those off the East Coast.

4> "Land" is a four-letter word in their language, too.

3> Those clicks and grunts are solely for researchers. They
    really communicate via text messaging.

2> Males use the same sound for "to harpoon" and "to mate".


    and the Number 1 Little Known Fact About Whale Language...


1> "Squeak-hoot-squeak" answered by "hoot-squeak" translates as:
    "No way!" "Way."



v v v v v



*submitted by*
SHAYNABUTTONS



For all you moms and dads .....and people who love to laugh.   This is one for the fridge!


"This is my kindergartner's artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought.
And I am so darned proud of myself - I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it.
I waited until he was out of the room before I started to cry from laughing so hard." 







v v v v v



The Top 16 Things That Can Get a Guy Banned From the Men's Union


16> You catch yourself thinking, "You know, what this bed needs
    is a few more pillows."

15> "What do you think: a Zima or a white zinfandel?"

14> You rhapsodize about taking that chick with the great rack
    home from the bar for a long night of sweet cuddling and
    General Foods International Coffee.

13> You not only know the difference between a puff pastry and a
    cream puff, but your choux paste swan took first place at the county fair.

12> "Ewww, gross!  Two women kissing!"

11> "You know, take away the steroids and over-the-top sideshow
    atmosphere from pro wrestling and it's just like ballet!"

10> Your new Martha Burke signature putter.

9> Not only can you identify Sarah Hughes and Tara Lipinski, you
    can articulate the logic behind the "artistic impression"
    scores in figure skating.

8> You turn down playoff tickets so you can watch Cher's farewell
    concert on TV.

7> You complain that the "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"
    movie was not true to the book.

6> Sure, it's the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl and you've had
    a lot to drink, but you can't resist commenting on how those
    uniforms would look a lot neater if only they'd been finished
    with an overedge chain rather than a two-thread lock stitch.

5> Your "Bridges of Madison County" lunch box.

4> You not only sing show tunes at karaoke, you employ full
    choreography.

3> You ask your barber to give you a "Richard Simmons."

2> When the guys put you in charge of "entertainment" for the
    bachelor party in Vegas, you buy tickets to see Celine Dion.


            and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing That Can
             Get a Guy Banned From the Men's Union...


1> "No oral sex for me tonight, honey -- I don't feel very fresh down there."



v v v v v





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DivX, MPEG4, or H.264 levels for bit rate, frame rate, and image size.



v v v v v



Crockpot Sausage & Egg Casserole    
       

A super-simple breakfast dish, made with the ease of the crockpot

Ingredients

1 dozen beaten eggs
14 slices of bread
2 1/4 C milk (low-fat or skim is ok)
2 1/2 C grated cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese
1 lb. sausage, cooked and drained
½ tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper (more or less to taste)
2 tsp. mustard, optional

Directions

Grease the sides of the crock with butter. If desired, spread mustard on one side of the bread and cut
bread into large squares. Make layers in the crockpot of bread, followed by sausage, followed by cheese,
ending with a cheese layer. Beat eggs, milk, salt and pepper together. Pour over crockpot
mixture, cover and turn on low. Cook for 8-12 hours.



v v v v v



*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net


The Jewish sisters-in-law meet at their weekly session at the beauty shop.

Ruth says to Golda, "Such news I got for you, Golda! My Irving is
finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to this wonderful
Jewish girl, but he thinks the poor darling may have some strange illness
called herpes." 

After offering congratulations, Golda says to Ruth,
"So, Ruthie, do you have any idea what is this herpes, and can your Irving catch it?"

Ruth answers, "God forbid! But his Papa and I are just so happy to
hear about his engagement. You know how we've all worried about him. It's
past time he's settled with a nice girl. As far as the herpes goes, who knows?"

"Well," Golda says, "I have a very fine medical dictionary, you know,
Ruthie. I'll just run home right now and look it up and call you."

Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth excitedly, "Ruth! Ruth!
Thank goodness, I found it. Not to worry! It says herpes is a disease
affecting the gentiles!"



v v v v v

Click here: Debsnewsletter - Archives
http://www.debsnewsletter.com/archives.shtml



v v v v v



Southwestern Style Sausage, Egg & Cheese Breakfast Casserole
This spicy casserole features flavorful Ortega chilies and green pepper.

Ingredients
18 eggs
1 small can green Ortega chilies
1 lb. cooked breakfast sausage
2 ½ C. grated Monterey Jack or Pepper Jack cheese
1 med. onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced
1 tsp. butter

Directions
Grease crock with butter. Starting with sausage, layer meat, chilies, onions, peppers and cheese, repeating
the layering process until all ingredients are used and ending with a layer of cheese. Beat eggs, and then
pour over mixture in the slow cooker. Cover and turn on low. Cook for 7-8 hours.
Serve with sour cream or fresh salsa.
   


v v v v v

   

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com


When a fully loaded tractor-trailer overturned near our small city, the
local newspaper ran a photo of the rig and 48,000 pounds of lumber
strewn across the roadway.

The caption read: "How much wood can a wood truck chuck?"

   

v v v v v



*submitted by*
lg1@tampabay.rr.com


  A Japanese company (Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on
the Missouri River . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
  
  On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
  
  The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior Management was formed to investigate
and recommend appropriate action.
  
  Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the 
American team had 8 people steering and1 person rowing.

  Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large
amount of money for a second opinion.  They advised, of course, that too many people were
steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

  Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing
team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering
supervisors and 1 assistant steering manager.
  
  They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 Person rowing the boat greater
incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners
and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment,
extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
  
  The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
  
  Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new
canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed
to the senior executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
  
  The  End.



v v v v v






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Should you upgrade from XP? In this course you’ll learn everything you need to know about basic
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In this course you will learn how to:

Navigate the new Start menu
Work with Internet Explorer 7
Use and configure the Sidebar
Take advantage of Vista Media Center
Understand Vista’s new security features
Use Vista’s new search features

   
   
v v v v v



I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to
me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his
wife was getting carried  away with her shopping, a brief power
shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead.

"That," he sighed, "must be her checking out now"



v v v v v



There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead traveling through the
desert when their car suddenly stalls.  They all get out of the car and, upon
realizing that it's not going to start, they each take one thing from
the car.  The brunette takes a bottle of water, the redhead takes a bag of
food with her, and the blonde takes the car door.

They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest.
At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead and ask
her why she brought the food.  She replies, "Well, in case I get hungry

I'll have something to eat."

They all think this is pretty reasonable and then the redhead and the
blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided to bring water.
The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got thirsty I'll have something
to drink."  They all decide that's a good idea, too.

Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde and ask her
why on earth she would take the car door.  She replies,
"Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down the window."



v v v v v








Top 10: Caribbean escapes
Dreaming of glorious sunsets, pristine beaches and tropical breezes? These sun-soaked
Caribbean getaways are sure to please!


1.     Turks and Caicos   
2.     St. Lucia   
3.     Varadero Beach, Cuba   
4.     Puerto Rico   
5.     Jamaica   
6.     e="2">Punta Cana   
7.     Bahamas   
8.     Cayman Islands   
9.     Barbados   
10.     St. John   
   
   

v v v v v



*submitted by*
BADVETTE87


Daffy Definitions


MADAM: One who offers vice to the lovelorn.
MARCONI: The first man to send a message through a length  of
spaghetti without it touching the sides.

MINE SHAFT: What a German  calls his dick.
MONOLOGUE: A discussion between man and wife.

NONDESCRIPT:  A television play.
ODIOUS: Not very good poetry.

ORGY: Grope therapy.
PARENTS: Couples who practise the Rhythm Method.

PEDESTRIAN: A motorist with teenage sons.
PIMP: Nookie Bookie.

PIMP: Public relations  man for a public relations girl.
PORNOGRAPHY: Clitertature.

PREMATURE  EJACULATION: The come before the scorn.
RACIAL DISPUTE: When the course judge calls for a photo.

RED RIDING HOOD: A Russian condom.
REFLECTION: What a  girl looks at, but is not given to.

SAGE: A bloke who knows his onions.
SITTING PRETTY: Sitting Bull's gay brother.

SNOW JOB: How a woman defrosts her man.
SNUFF: Sufficient unto the day.

SONATA: A song sung by Frank.
SPECIMEN: An Italian astronaut.

STALEMATE: A husband who has lost his ardour.
TEAR JERKER: A bloke who cries while wanking.

TRUE LOVE: An injection with affection to the midsection from a
projection without objection.
VICE SQUAD: The pussy posse.

VICE VERSA: Dirty poetry from  Italy.
VIRGIN: A girl who whispers sweet nothing doings.

VIRGIN: A girl who won't take in what a guy takes out.
VIRGIN: Any Hicksville girl who can outrun her brothers.

VIRGIN SQUAW: Wouldn't Indian.
WELSH RAREBIT: A Cardiff virgin.

WET DREAM: A snorgasm.
ANTI-CLIMAX:  Bore-gasm.

CORPORATE VIRGIN: New girl in the office.
DESPERATE STRAIGHTS:  Sex-starved heterosexuals.

GAELIC: An Irish Lesbian.
INCEST: Relatively boring.

INCEST: A game for the whole family to play.
LUBRICATED CONDOMS: Bedroom slippers.

MASTURBATION: I-balling.
SELF-DECEPTION: Faking an organism during masturbation.



v v v v v



What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year,the dog is still excited to see you.



v v v v v








I cried because I had no shoes, until
I met a man who had no asshole. Then
I thought, "My *Lord*, is that guy fucked."
(Brad Simanek)


When I was in the fifth grade I was taught sex ed
by a 65-year-old nun, which is kind of like taking
barbecue lessons from a vegetarian. Either way,
there's been very limited experience handling meat.
  (Allen Lindsey)


I always get narcolepsy and necrophilia
mixed up -- which is the one where I fall
asleep in the middle of banging a corpse?
  (Mark D. Sabien)


I'm going to a doctor to get my penis enlarged.
I know it'll work -- she's a really hot doctor.
(The Covert Comic)


As the burning sensation began to overwhelm
me, I wondered if that moron who said "You
never get a second chance to make a first
impression" had ever tried Nair-ing his
ass-crack in advance of a colonoscopy.
  (Mark D. Sabien)


I think it's safe to say Pandora didn't
have too many suitors offering her oral sex.
(Brad Simanek)


I'm specifying in my will that my body be
donated to the local necrophiliac's club.
At this point, I figure it's my best
shot at ever getting laid again.
(Christopher Urich)



v v v v v



I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke, please."

Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond,
"I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper,
Mr. Pibb and Yahoo."

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I'd make
life easier. So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie
theater for a "dark, carbonated beverage."

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, "Sir, would you
like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?"



v v v v v







Click here: TheDenverChannel.com - News - Cell Phones May Have Your Data, Even After You Erase, Trade It
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/10286312/detail.html
These days it seems cell phones are about as common as women's shoes or men's ties. And
like those shoes and ties, cell phones may be replaced fairly regularly.
The trouble is that old cell phone contains personal and sometimes sensitive information -- the
kind that can do you harm long after the phone is in someone else's hands.
And it's a bigger problem than you might think because 80 percent of cell phones have data intact.           
Whether you trade them in to your cell phone company or give them away to charity, cell phones are
treasure chests, holding valuable information that is difficult to erase. Cell phones are like small
computers, holding sensitive data that could leave you vulnerable.



v v v v v



SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH LEMON & BASIL  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

INGREDIENTS:  
2 teaspoons olive oil  
1 1/4 pounds fresh sugar snap peas, or two (10-ounce)  
   packages thawed frozen sugar snap peas  
1/2 teaspoon salt  
1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper  
1/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh basil  
1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest  
1/2 lemon, cut in wedges  

DIRECTIONS:  
Heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium  
heat. Add the peas; season with salt and pepper. Stir-  
fry until the peas are crisp-tender, 3 minutes for  
fresh or 2 minutes for thawed frozen sugar snaps. Add  
the basil and lemon zest; stir-fry until the basil is  
wilted and fragrant. Serve immediately with lemon wedges.  



v v v v v



The Top 20 Concert Lineups We'd Like to See


20> Ben Folds 5/Cardigans

19> Suicidal Tendencies/The Fall/Pavement/Wham!/Pulp

18> Lords of the New Church/Jesus Jones: Kool-Aid presents the
    Guyana Relief Tour

17> Talking Heads/Simple Minds

16> The Dixie Chicks/Bush

15> Red Hot Chili Peppers/Flaming Lips/Hole

14> XTC/Morphine/Jane's Addiction

13> The Beatles/The Crickets/Adam Ant/Black Flag

12> Dolly Parton/Mountain

11> No Doubt/Gorillaz/Blow Monkeys/Better Than Ezra

10> Phish/Taco

9> Nickelback/Quarterflash/50 Cent/Johnny Cash/Eddie Money:Dollarpalooza

8> Loverboy/Supertramp/The Motels/The Police

7> Yes/No Doubt

6> Bush/America/Asleep at the Wheel/Ludacris

5> The Carpenters/Tool/Hammer/Nine Inch Nails: The Handyman Tour

4> Jesus Jones/Nine Inch Nails

3> Korn/Hole: The Last Exit Tour

2> Meatloaf/Korn/Cake: The Swanson's Hungry Man Tour


  and Topfive.com's Number 1 Concert Lineup We'd Like to See...


1> Matchbox Twenty/Firehouse/Great White



v v v v v







Click here: World Music - Search Results
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Candlelight%20Music&r=http%3A//worldmusic.about.com/
Sheet music, music songs, festive music, piano sheet music and more

Click here: All Mixed Up - Songs About Food
http://www.mixedup.com/foodsongs.htm
500 songs about food



v v v v v



Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?

She burned her lips on the tailpipe.



v v v v v



*submittee by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.com



A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.

           He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?

           "Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away.  He turns around,runs around the block
and gets to the corner before she does.

           "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

           "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"
          So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let
me bite your breasts just once for $10,000?"
          
           She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000, eh?
           Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

           So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.
           As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them,
licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

           The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

           "Nah", he replies. "Costs too much"



v v v v v






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The year is 1930. A fiery explosion at the Lilac Inn leaves its owner, Emily Crandall, teetering on the edge of sanity
and propels you, as Nancy Drew, headlong into adventure. A will left behind by an eccentric millionaire could solve
Emily's problems, and fortunately, you've got a car and can drive anywhere you want. But watch out! When you're in
the trail of a desperate villain, the road can get very bumpy. Steer clear of trouble in
Nancy Drew: Secret of the Old Clock! Dare to Play™.

Click here: http://www.truantduck.com/va/va.swf
http://www.truantduck.com/va/va.swf
Choose your starship and go!

Click here: AskOxford: Word Games
http://www.askoxford.com/wordgames/?view=get
Lots of games - - crosswords, hangman, party games, scrabble and more

*submitted by*
jacksinfla@earthlink.net
Click here: http://www.tomslighthouse.net/special/Socks.swf
http://www.tomslighthouse.net/special/Socks.swf
LOL
   
   

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BADVETTE87
Click here: http://users.pandora.be/wo/holidaymusic.swf
http://users.pandora.be/wo/holidaymusic.swf

Click here: e029
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e029.html
Scroll down please

Click here: e026
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e026.html
Scroll down for the toon - yes, it's annoying

Click here: e023
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e023.html
Scroll down

*borrowed from*
shinyhappyhead.com
Popular movies that have been truncated down
to its very essence.  The “F” Word. 
 
* Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

* Big Lebowski's - Fucking Short Version

* South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut - Fucking Short Version

* Pulp Fiction fucking short version

* Good Fucking Fellas

* Casino - Fucking Short Version

* Summer of Sam - Fucking short version

* Departed Fucking Short Version

* Jarhead Fucking Short Version

* Scarface - fucking short version



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Rockin' and  Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied, with regard
to featured products or services.  Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control



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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making!  So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place

but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to

keep on rockin'
it's a state of mind



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©1999 - 2007 - Deborah Austin -  All rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'

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